Next time he talks to you like that,go out on your run and find the nearest muddy field . Wheelspin it until its grounded on the fuel tank. Phone him up,tell him the sat-nav did you and you need recovery. If you have a crowbar/tyre lever/etc make sure the diesel tank ‘got damaged when it grounded’ (just after you filled it to the brim). Make sure the farmer finds out his field is now contaminated with a couple of hundred litres of diesel.
Much better than chinning the idiot. A few thousand of his lost pounds is better than you getting arrested.
■■■■■■■:
If the guy called me a [zb] & a [zb], he would be off to A&E to have his ears re-attached.
That’s proper red mist territory to me.
You sound like a right ■■■■■■ 
Whats with all the “should have decked him” and “Id have flattened him” comments? What are we,15 years old? Thats assault. And who do you think the cops will be harder on when they arrive? The other guy has to swing first. That’s just the way it is. You swing first because “oh the bad man shouted at me” and YOU get lifted. And the best advice you can ever get is,dont pick a fight with someone you dont know coz you have NO idea what that person is capable of. Im a hot head,prone to getting P’ed off pretty quickly (I know that surprises some of you! 
) but im always in control and will be on guard for the other one throwing punches first. Anyone who thinks steaming in there and leathering him is acceptable doesnt belong in society. There’s no need,or justification, for it.
For me,the best response is,in a calm,non shouting and JUST below threatening but enough to know you mean business,tone say “Who do you think your talking to? Who do you think you are? Dont you ever talk to me like that. Im here to do a job same as you. Pull your neck in and watch what your saying”. With the right tone,delivery and look on your face ,this is the most effective methoed in my humble opinion. Ive used it once before and it worked. Bullys dont like people who arnt afraid of them.
my first job was working for an irish guy driving a van delivering solar panels between UK and Germany and we had tear ups like the OP on more than one occasion
I think it depends on what kind of gaffer he is the majority of the time? mine was bob on so when he called me and english prick (and worse) or whatever i knew he’d be right as rain the next day or next time I saw him.
tbh thats the type of boss I prefer, not the type that gives you a written warning and whatever else which is on record and used against you in the future.
eagerbeaver:
Next time he talks to you like that,go out on your run and find the nearest muddy field . Wheelspin it until its grounded on the fuel tank. Phone him up,tell him the sat-nav did you and you need recovery. If you have a crowbar/tyre lever/etc make sure the diesel tank ‘got damaged when it grounded’ (just after you filled it to the brim). Make sure the farmer finds out his field is now contaminated with a couple of hundred litres of diesel.
Much better than chinning the idiot. A few thousand of his lost pounds is better than you getting arrested.
Bit extreme innit, why not just set fire to it as well an be done ?
It’s not easily explainable how it ’ went on fire ’ lol!
Probably does sound extreme,but bully’s need to be taught a lesson.
The-Snowman:
Whats with all the “should have decked him” and “Id have flattened him” comments? What are we,15 years old? Thats assault. And who do you think the cops will be harder on when they arrive? The other guy has to swing first. That’s just the way it is. You swing first because “oh the bad man shouted at me” and YOU get lifted. And the best advice you can ever get is,dont pick a fight with someone you dont know coz you have NO idea what that person is capable of. Im a hot head,prone to getting P’ed off pretty quickly (I know that surprises some of you! ) but im always in control and will be on guard for the other one throwing punches first. Anyone who thinks steaming in there and leathering him is acceptable doesnt belong in society. There’s no need,or justification, for it.
For me,the best response is,in a calm,non shouting and JUST below threatening but enough to know you mean business,tone say “Who do you think your talking to? Who do you think you are? Dont you ever talk to me like that. Im here to do a job same as you. Pull your neck in and watch what your saying”. With the right tone,delivery and look on your face ,this is the most effective methoed in my humble opinion. Ive used it once before and it worked. Bullys dont like people who arnt afraid of them.
I did put +1 on wetbacks post but have to agree with your opinion,it does make more sense if you are calm as they don’t like it and don’t know how to take you
The-Snowman:
Whats with all the “should have decked him” and “Id have flattened him” comments? What are we,15 years old?
Do you want knocking out mate?
I much preferred the old days when the boss called you a useless ■■■■ when you walked into his office holding the arm/ mirror off your truck that you’d just knocked off .
These days it’s marks on files ,warning ,all too formal in my opinion
You should be well used to all that by now Dozy, like water of a ducks back innit 
Make a recording of the conversation and put it on his desk to listen to at his leisure, might change his tone when he hears his own spewing’s . 
Failing that I would personally recommend bamboo seeds under the fingernails and water away
Sounds like an old fashioned transport man! I’ve been on receiving end of that sort of abuse before. They never get a second chance, I’ve changed several jobs because of it. I’m pretty easy going as an employee but one of the few demands I make is to be treated like an adult, not a naughty child
I’m old-skool I guess??
I quite like a boss that talks like that as long as he can take it back.
However, no way I’d still be at the truck 16hrs after starting on last day with no reducers left, the truck gets left and I’m offski, ask IsoTank and Freightliner, they found out the hard way.
I had a Scottish boss, longest job I’ve ever had in haulage (not hard I know) because he told me like it was, I told him like it was, it was ■■■■■■’ great.
Driving in to a field sounds a good idea, the sat nav said follow bridle path, so you did.
Reminds me of the John Cleese film, when he misses the train for a headmasters speech.
The old Austin car stuck in the mud, the funny part, was the farmer on tractor having his break.
Clockwork, the film.
raymundo:
You should be well used to all that by now Dozy, like water of a ducks back innit
He did say at yet another visit to his office that I wasn’t taking on board what was being said too me ( well I think he did I was gazing out the window thinking zb hell I’m going too get wet now when doing my checks as it had started too rain ) ,hopefully there will be a parting of the ways soon ,and not a minute too soon for me .
All this you’ve been a bad boy yet again ,your having a mark on your file has no real effect on me ,not the same effect as your boss ■■■■■■ and blinding at you across the yard in front of everyone .
Yep the new style of management has no real effect on me ,in one ear out the other ,but having your ears ringing for days after your boss has given you a ear bashing did have a effect on me ,I miss those days ,the days as well when they put a arm round your shoulder and said forget it ,let’s just get these loads moved .
It’s that personel touch I miss ,the pint with the boss ,night out ,if had a night out with my newboss ,he’d give me a mark on my file the next day for getting ■■■■■■ up
alamcculloch:
P%% in the diesltank and find another job.The fact that you have posted means that he is getting to you.Your health is more important than the job.
Toilet tissue is a lot more effective
alamcculloch:
P%% in the diesltank and find another job.The fact that you have posted means that he is getting to you.Your health is more important than the job.
One time I was working for a big event hire company, I had to take a 7.5-tonner to Birmingham and bring another back. Got 40 miles away from London and it started struggling. Called the boss and asked if there was a speed limiter on it (this was before they were compulsory) and he said no. But it got worse and worse - it couldn’t do more than 40mph up hill and it was either empty or not carrying much. I had to turn off the motorway because you can’t do that speed on the motorway. Eventually limped into Cherwell Valley services and the boss called the repair guy out. When he was busy looking at it, boss called and said he’d found out that someone had tipped salt in the diesel tank the day before because he was ■■■■■■ off about the work he’d had to do. Repair guy replaced a filter, I think, but that solved the problem only temporarily and it was struggling along at 35mph when I arrived at Birmingham. On the way back, though, I got a 220hp motor - unusual for a 7.5-tonner, perhaps it was used to pull drawbars - and keeping it below 70 was the effort! Those were the days.
When things went wrong my old boss used to throw his cap up through the rafters and then jump up and down on top of it shouting “■■■■, ■■■■, ■■■■.” Nobody ever batted an eyelid.