Dipper_Dave:
nick2008:
Dipper_Dave:
Whilst shopping yesterday I found some raw prawns in the reduced section (the beloved loves prawns). Pan fried them in garlic butter in the evening then we fed them to each other whilst I lightly fingered the wife smearing the garlic butter over her ■■■■■ before proceeding with one of my better performances of ■■■■■■■■■■■ till she found religion.
.
I don’t think i’ll ever be able to eat prawns or scampi again without this thought flashing across my eyes 
Im hoping some of our female viewers are printing my post out and giving it to their partners screaming “do this, do this”.
Knowing winks tomorrow for anyone with the slightest whiff of garlic.
an old hand trick there…knowing full well that the prawns would help disguise the smell…well played. I was in a similar situation last night when she dropped a brusselsproutyeggychuffer,i was gasping for breath and my eyes started watering with my stomache heaving…it was just like a breat of fresh air !!!
Juddian:
Ah see this is where us older, and sometimes 
smarter than the average bear win out.
We, that’s 'er and i, do not celebrate Valentines nor any other money making scam dreamed up to relieve you of your hard earned.
What you do, chaps, and chapesses depending on your own situation, if you have a good partner you tell them every day how much they mean to you, you never fail to part on good terms, you look out for each other and are unafraid to show you care for that person at all times.
Valentines, pah, pah i say, every day is Valentines day, every week those of us smart bears take some flowers to our better halves, we tell them we love every day, we show them we care for them every day, they feel wanted and secure and safe, and that’s a two way street.
Ye Gods, do i have to teach you lot about relationships as well as the benefits of an Eaton Twin Splitter, is there no rest for the wicked… 
We’re not doing Valentines day either, and we’re still young . The money is better put towards the deposit for our first house together. Chocolates and flowers only last a few days. (Okay the flowers last a few days, the chocolates a few minutes ). Bricks and mortar lasts a bit longer.
You lot never disappoint!!
PMSL at these replies. The usual mix of humour and depravity.
That’s my card sorted then…
Click on photo to enlarge.
Dipper Dave; LEAVE IT!
nick2008:
eagerbeaver:
She has a puncture at the moment, but it’s not all bad news.
At least she goes down on me now.
Yeah but she’s still got that cold, you know runny nose gloggy throat etc
the best thing about ploughing your favourite blowup doll is the constant look of surprise on her face when you pull your ■■■■ out…
