Dipper_Dave:
When I was very young and experimenting with what I thought ladies parts felt like I once violated a Ginsters pasty, since then I havent been able to open one without getting slightly aroused. Im also barred from Greggs.
Health and safety warning.
No need to wear a hi viz while practicing this method of self satisfaction ( unless you are agency of course) but do NOT microwave the pie first 
DAFy_Duck:
If there’s one thing that is guaranteed to put me off my Ginsters pasty it’s the smell of urine that seems to pervade every single truck park at every single motorway services you stop at.
You seem a decent and reasonable person, so I can let you into one of the best kept truckers secrets. The urine is a covert truckers protest at the high prices in MSA’s. The second truckers secret I can let you into is that Ginsters will pay you £1.50 for every bag of poop you give them. Absolutely no idea what they use it for, but I did hear someone shout “Doris put some more pastry on”…
The-Snowman:
DAFy_Duck:
I’m not trolling.Yes you are. I didnt think so till I read your other posts
A crap one at that…
I once had to do a number 2 in the sea whilst hanging off the back of a pedalo in Greece. I can usually hold them, but the call of nature was particularly strong on this occasion, and when you’re half a mile out at sea, what do you do?
As for peeing at the services, I can’t get my head around the laziness, like I will never understand those who will park 10 yards from a bin at the services but instead choose to open their car door/window and chuck their litter out onto the floor. I guess these individuals are cut from the same cloth. After being cramped up driving for hours on end in the cab, I’m happy to park as far away from the service area buildings as possible and then have a good walk to stretch the legs.
Sprinter Si:
I once had to do a number 2 in the sea whilst hanging off the back of a pedalo in Greece.
Sprinter Si:
I once had to do a number 2 in the sea whilst hanging off the back of a pedalo in Greece. I can usually hold them, but the call of nature was particularly strong on this occasion, and when you’re half a mile out at sea, what do you do?As for peeing at the services, I can’t get my head around the laziness, like I will never understand those who will park 10 yards from a bin at the services but instead choose to open their car door/window and chuck their litter out onto the floor. I guess these individuals are cut from the same cloth. After being cramped up driving for hours on end in the cab, I’m happy to park as far away from the service area buildings as possible and then have a good walk to stretch the legs.
I had the misfortune of staying on Beaconsfield Services recently. Went into the building to use the “facilities” and was gobsmacked at the state of the car park when I came out.
I’d say approx 90% of the car spaces had McDs bags/cups/boxes in them.
Seriously I reckon they could have easily filled a skip.
I normally only use MSA toilets if I feel a dump coming on.
Otherwise I’m quite happy to ■■■■ up the wheels.
If it’s raining I’ll just flap it out the window instead.
Dunno how some of you wimps would have coped with good old lorry parks
with no facilities at all.
axletramp:
I normally only use MSA toilets if I feel a dump coming on.
Otherwise I’m quite happy to ■■■■ up the wheels.
If it’s raining I’ll just flap it out the window instead.
Dunno how some of you wimps would have coped with good old lorry parks
with no facilities at all.
with some of the “good old lorry parks” if you hopped out of the cap and whipped out your todger there was always the chance that yours wernt the only hands holding it. and if your having an in cab wizz,then Robinsons diluting orange bottles hold plenty and have a nice wide neck for aiming into.peronally,i just jam my japs eye in and use my hand as a somewhat temporary jubilee clip between the bottle and my bellend,then you can look out the window to pass the time without worrying about squirting on your curtains…I wonder what the japaneese call there japs eye■■?
commonrail:
Sprinter Si:
I once had to do a number 2 in the sea whilst hanging off the back of a pedalo in Greece.
Someone else not thinking about the refugees 
I only ■■■■ all over my front wheels that’s just to cool the brakes down.
Baggie:
commonrail:
Sprinter Si:
I once had to do a number 2 in the sea whilst hanging off the back of a pedalo in Greece.
Someone else not thinking about the refugees
To be honest it was a desperate situation and I admit to giving little consideration to anyone. Besides, most of what we flush down the toilet ends up in the sea anyway.
It’ll give them something to eat while they are drifting around.
Might think it’s a Brown Trout.
Sprinter Si:
Baggie:
commonrail:
Sprinter Si:
I once had to do a number 2 in the sea whilst hanging off the back of a pedalo in Greece.
Someone else not thinking about the refugees
To be honest it was a desperate situation and I admit to giving little consideration to anyone. Besides, most of what we flush down the toilet ends up in the sea anyway.
A mate of mine is a pro fisherman He was hanging over the edge of the boat one day just offshore, having a crap as he probably did most days, he looked up and a load of Jap tourists had their binoculars on him.
Reminiscent of the old tipper driver /bus load of nuns myth…but true. 
I must admit that after supping a few cans, then getting ready for bed, i am loathed to get dressed again just to walk across the ■■■■ laden lorry park, so i always use the open door ajar method, seems to work wonders as i seem to get a good nights sleep afterwards, but fair play to me, i always use the nearside door, that way i dont have to walk in it in the morning when going for a coffee and a ginsters, sorry…sausage roll, now thats common sense.
It does take a fair bit a practice & aim tho to be able to dump in a sandwich bag, when the need arises
Im not against a fly hit n miss when there is appropriate shelter outside to do so.
Stopped at services this morning where a truck had stopped in the car park 20 yards from the toilet and was ■■■■■■■ up against the side of the wagon that was on full view to cameras, car park, toilets and cafe entrance.
I hope for the lads sake the cameras were pointing the other way and some disgusted member of staff doesnt see it. Is it still an offence that gets you on the register if you have your walloper out in a public place?
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
I only ■■■■ all over my front wheels that’s just to cool the brakes down.
Then the smell of Ginsters pasty comes wafting up to your embracing nostrils. Mmm BRAW
Driver-Once-More:
at Watford Gap …
I can think of better places to go for a picnic than Watford Gap services
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
Driver-Once-More:
at Watford Gap …I can think of better places to go for a picnic than Watford Gap services
Leicester forest?