Semtex:
one from my bus days in Bedford. They used to run a couple of Routemaster buses. driver walks into the inspectors office.
“I have a problem with the indicaters on this bus, one of them is not working”
“Which one?” says the inspector.
“This one!” says the driver placing an indicator on the desk (the front indicators were on stalks above the cab!!!"
I have one to add to that don’t know its true though, just something i was told.
When I first started at Yorkshire Traction one of the lads was telling me about a bus he had been allocated. When he got to the bus he checked the doors, which promptly fell off and hit the deck.
He picked one of them up, walked into the inspectors office and said simply, can I have another bus for these doors please
paul b:
it’s got top be agency drivers at the mo, everyone you talk to is SO much better off since they “packed in” their regular job! recently i’ve heard one who claimed to have earnt £250 for a sunday, getting paid 12 hours but actually only did 4 and was home for his sunday lunch
but i’ve yet to meet anyone who’s done euro work that can’t come up with some extremely dodgy story, fella i met the other week claimed he used to double load his curtainsider every week, his firms load on the bottom and beer on the top and sold it to a [zb] in dover for a grand a run
them were the days!
Well today I got 10 hours guaranteed (£15/hour) from a place in Leicester for a “night” shift. Meant to start at 1pm they phoned me on the way there and said don’t come in, but we will still pay you (■■■■ right you will)
I’ve also done plenty of 4 hour days but still get paid for 8, which is nice.
Well the myths are still alive and well and being repeated and regenerated by the newer drivers.
Penrith this week was heard that all these bleeding foreigners coming over here are running illegal cos you are not allowed to do nights out in a normal sleeper cab. This was agreed on by the other drivers and was substantiated by the brother in law of one of the drivers, he was a traffic copper.
It just goes to prove that the drivers turning round to talk out of their arse are still joining the industry
When I pointed out that they should probably tell the ECM drivers who were having a beer, he said that I was the clever c and it was only international drivers not allowed to use standard sleepers
Just had to revive this thread to tell this story i heard…
I used to work for ralph davies (don’t worry i did’nt go very far, all the channel hopping had all but stopped when i was on there) and got talkin to another driver who if i remember rightly used to use this forum so if he’s reading this he can varify it or not…
basically driver get’s pulled over in france and the gendarmes go through his tacho’s, in which he went over his driving time, so
cop says “why you go too far?”
driver " i wanted to get to abc services!"
cop " you past xyz services, why not stop there?"
driver " because abc services are doing 2 for 1 on table wine with evening meal !"
cop smiles then hands back the tacho’s and says “good” au revoire
Heard this one on the boat last year. No idea if it’s true but it made me laugh.
Paddy gets pulled by the Belgian ministry in Mouscron which is right near the French border. Plod asks for his card which he hands over and of course it’s black. Plod asks for yesterdays card and Paddy says you’re holding it! So the cop says you’d better ring your cappo cos the fine is gonna be big. So he phones base on the hands free and conversation goes as follows:
Driver- Been pulled boss.
Boss- Bleep bleep bleeping bleep! Where are you?
Driver- Mouscron.
Boss- Mouscron. Wouldn’t that be near the border?
Driver- Yes.
Boss- Well can you make a run for it■■?
Like i said, I don’t know if it’s true, but i like it.
Yes it is true the story of convertible being beside cattle trucks. Cos i did livestock driving in OZ for ten years and i have seen it happen in my mirrors several times with much delight .
Happened to me too a few years back, used to take chicken offal in an open topped skip from Padleys at Sleaford to Oakley animal products in Ascot, unfortunately there was a near miss involving a bently convertable and as i swerved a large amount of chicken innards slopped over the side of the skip and into the car! we stopped using open topped skips not long afterwards!
Well I swear this is true
I was heading home from Italy and running through this tunnel when there was crash and a huge fireball , luckily by good driving I managed to swerve around the chaos and get past, had to give statement to the police which delayed me so only got to this truckstop in Southern Germany, and wouldn’t you know it beeen there an hour or so and this truck smashes into the fuel pumps and theres a masive explosion, I did what I can to help (obviously as I am “nod nod wink wink” ex miltary but cant talk about it), of course by being delayed again I missed my ferry booking by 30 seconds… and the wachted as it overturned just outside the harbour…
Have we met I am sure I have told my story on a few ferry crossings?
My mate was telling me about how when he was on the coaches he used to get on wearing sunglasses and carrying a stick whilst being guided by his courier, before driving off. As they went down the road the courier would say “turn here”, “stop now” etc. Upon questioning the courier would tell the passengers that the driver was blind but he was ok as long as he told him when to turn. Apparently they believed this and didn’t say a thing. Don’t know if it was true or not but I laughed like a loon when he told me.
Rikki-UK:
Well I swear this is true
I was heading home from Italy and running through this tunnel when there was crash and a huge fireball , luckily by good driving I managed to swerve around the chaos and get past, had to give statement to the police which delayed me so only got to this truckstop in Southern Germany, and wouldn’t you know it beeen there an hour or so and this truck smashes into the fuel pumps and theres a masive explosion, I did what I can to help (obviously as I am “nod nod wink wink” ex miltary but cant talk about it), of course by being delayed again I missed my ferry booking by 30 seconds… and the wachted as it overturned just outside the harbour…
Have we met I am sure I have told my story on a few ferry crossings?
Bloody liar - I know 'cos it happened to a mate of mne, and he told me himself, so it must be true
Rikki-UK wrote:Well I swear this is true
I was heading home from Italy and running through this tunnel when there was crash and a huge fireball , luckily by good driving I managed to swerve around the chaos and get past, had to give statement to the police which delayed me so only got to this truckstop in Southern Germany, and wouldn’t you know it beeen there an hour or so and this truck smashes into the fuel pumps and theres a masive explosion, I did what I can to help (obviously as I am “nod nod wink wink” ex miltary but cant talk about it), of course by being delayed again I missed my ferry booking by 30 seconds… and the wachted as it overturned just outside the harbour…
Have we met I am sure I have told my story on a few ferry crossings?
Bloody liar - I know 'cos it happened to a mate of mne, and he told me himself, so it must be true
a few years back just after the digital tachos had been invented but were very much still in trial.
Was told by a guy that hed been stopped by gendarmes at St.Omer.
He was apparantly well over his hours, (just done a “one hit” from Pratojohn in Italy), he hands the gendarme the plastic protector disc from his tacho saying its a new digital disc , and surely theyve got a digital reader!!
Obviously the gendarme just smiled said OK and waved him on his way
Thought I’d share this one with the room, a driver told me last night that if you take a 45 before you have done 4.5 hours you lose whatever the balance was. Eg taking your 45 after 2.5 hours then another 4.5, then another 45min break, then the last hour (if you have a 10 hour day left) with the 2 hours lost to you.
then hands back the tacho’s and says “good” au revoire
