Talking of cafes Dan, I’ll say people who stand in a long queue and then when it’s their turn, turn and ask their companion “right what are we having?”
Muckaway:
Talking of cafes Dan, I’ll say people who stand in a long queue and then when it’s their turn, turn and ask their companion “right what are we having?”
People that stand too close in said que and ones who can’t stand still .
Darts; It’s only called a sport so fat blokes can be called sportsmen. Archery for alcoholics.
It annoys me (unreasonably of course) when I have to overtake a car on a d/c or motorway in free flowing and good conditions. It’s the sheer unpredictability of them that irks me, and the fact that after you finally have managed to pass them and return to lane one they invariably pull out, overtake you and ten miles later you have to repeat the whole thing again. 
Muckaway:
Darts; It’s only called a sport so fat blokes can be called sportsmen. Archery for alcoholics.
In that vein, is truck racing for those that might have a BMI that could otherwise affect the power to weight ratio? 
Evil8Beezle:
Muckaway:
Darts; It’s only called a sport so fat blokes can be called sportsmen. Archery for alcoholics.In that vein, is truck racing for those that might have a BMI that could otherwise affect the power to weight ratio?
Yeah, probably matches the badge that says 500.
Service roads for most retail outlets are designed for access for deliveries and not for tossers who think they’ll park there because it’s 3 feet closer to the store entrance than if they parked in the huge car park.
Not only is this an unreasonable annoyance it makes my pi** boil.
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When I remember to put the bin out the night before, the binmen don’t arrive till late afternoon but if I forget, when go to put it out on refuse day at 10am they’ve already been
The-Snowman:
When I remember to put the bin out the night before, the binmen don’t arrive till late afternoon but if I forget, when go to put it out on refuse day at 10am they’ve already been
How can you tell in Glasgow? 
The-Snowman:
When I remember to put the bin out the night before, the binmen don’t arrive till late afternoon but if I forget, when go to put it out on refuse day at 10am they’ve already been
You know you’re in the Jewish area of town; They padlock the dustbins.
The results of a golf or cricket match, with the commentary that nobody understands .
Like a secret code " Higgins scores two over twelve in the fifth leg over, in the middle birdy with Hemshank over par ,eight for sevens in the dig out for two wickets, out for out last batting . "
Code for the Freemasons back door of the “hut” .
Quakers inner sewing wheel club .
Why are golf clubs so pretentious with the expensive cars in the pristine car park with no litter anywhere ?
Grown men prancing around in Rupbert the bear checked trousers that look like kids pyjamas .
Evil8Beezle:
The-Snowman:
When I remember to put the bin out the night before, the binmen don’t arrive till late afternoon but if I forget, when go to put it out on refuse day at 10am they’ve already beenHow can you tell in Glasgow?
No jakeys raking through to see if youve chucked out anything they can use
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toby1234abc:
The results of a golf or cricket match, with the commentary that nobody understands .
Like a secret code " Higgins scores two over twelve in the fifth leg over, in the middle birdy with Hemshank over par ,eight for sevens in the dig out for two wickets, out for out last batting . "
Code for the Freemasons back door of the “hut” .
Quakers inner sewing wheel club .Why are golf clubs so pretentious with the expensive cars in the pristine car park with no litter anywhere ?
Grown men prancing around in Rupbert the bear checked trousers that look like kids pyjamas .
Agreed - what’s it all about■■?
“Something something NOT out…” Does that mean its in then? 
That muffled clapping during golf tournaments you hear on TV.
The fact that people don’t speak to each other any more - always staring at phones.
Going to ■■■■ fit with a puncture, followed by much teeth sucking, followed by “Well Sir it’s going to be a new tyre, best I can do for you today is £85 including balancing and valve…” No thanks! Been to a part worn tyre place as it waslow on tread anyway - £25.
The presenters on R4 in the mornings - James Nouchtie (sp?) loves his own voice.
When you’re reversing in a supermarket car park and you see the reversing light on a Skodia Fabia (always is ) come on opposite and they start to come back toward you as you are already manoeuvring. Crap observation skills.
You go to a wedding or a church and it’s colder inside than outside. The radiators if there are any haven’t been on in years.
Very uncomfortable chairs when doing a training course or something - always the same style with a hard back. Also the little kitchenette - with random tea stained chipped mugs, damp sugar with an old spoon left in and the used tea bags left by the tap. You open the fridge and it’s empty except for a small green top milk.
Straining to hear the conversations at the service desk at the garage when you go for a service. “Well sir he’s had a look at it, I’m afraid it’s looking like 1050 plus VAT…”
“Oh I’d better ring my wife then…”
You’re thinking poor sod, I’m glad that’s not me 
Remember Dixon’s? Soon as you’re through the door, they were on you like flies round crap.
“It’s ok im just looking…”
He’s still watching you.
“Silky smooth toilet roll”
I wiped my arse on newspaper once. Cheap and it did the job fine. No need for pleats or whatever. In fact the rougher the greater, er, adherence I think!
Pub toilets that ALWAYS smell of stale ■■■■. A block of dried brown soap on the sink, no hand dryer, you don’t bother. A worrying wet door handle.
Supermarket cashiers who can see you are busy bagging up your shopping but want to paid when you are still bagging up.
I make them wait until I have finished bagging.
They then have the audacity to roll their eyes at the next customer and apologize to them because I have held them up .
Announcements on the rubbish tannoy that is inaudible that say meat in aisle three is now half price and bread is now 20p a loaf, due to the store closing soon .
Fake bakers at these places, with fake baking smell to make you hungry and buy more food,.
Customers adverts board, always the same rubbish, 15 year old bike for sale, only two gears working, buyer collects, has no saddle £150 .
Baby buggy for sale , had baby ■■■ in it, was£499 in the shop, now £450.
Tv for sale, lost remote control and no picture on screen, would suit Diy enthusiasts.
toby1234abc:
Supermarket cashiers who can see you are busy bagging up your shopping but want to paid when you are still bagging up.
I make them wait until I have finished bagging.
They then have the audacity to roll their eyes at the next customer and apologize to them because I have held them up .
Announcements on the rubbish tannoy that is inaudible that say meat in aisle three is now half price and bread is now 20p a loaf, due to the store closing soon .
Fake bakers at these places, with fake baking smell to make you hungry and buy more food,.
Customers adverts board, always the same rubbish, 15 year old bike for sale, only two gears working, buyer collects, has no saddle £150 .
Baby buggy for sale , had baby ■■■ in it, was£499 in the shop, now £450.
Tv for sale, lost remote control and no picture on screen, would suit Diy enthusiasts.
Haha yes those advert are fascinating
This sort of thing:
- Braggis-Tate Lawnmower for sale £25, non runner at present, just needs an oil change, collection only, no time wasters please.
Madame Sharon’, local massage therapist, out calls only. Discrete service. Sensual ■■■■■-cling technique. £55 per session. Text only to 07777777777.
(This is for all to see near customer services and the bit where they store the electric scooters ).
And the inevitable:
Y Reg Nissan Micra 1.0 lite, auto, 3 door, careful elderly lady has owned from new, in lustre beige. 7000 miles only. Please note the car sometimes does not start, but my husband Derek states he will be able to start it for you.
When you want to read something online (normally local news) and you get that message “to read article please support this page by doing a short survey” ■■■■■■■■.
I know you can skip it but I like to see if I can give the answer which doesn’t ask any further questions.
People with no Lgv license but all of sudden are experts on telling me which direction to turn the steering wheel when reversing .
They shout out this " Full, hard lock to the left, no, no, the other way "
For example I went past the entrance to a farm.
The farmer follows me up the mud track to say he told me the way in .
My choice was to simply reverse back, but no, he didn’t want me getting stuck in the ditch.
So the shenanigans of the banks man began.
At the end of the track,at the T junction , under low trees, perform a U turn there, ripping up the grass verges , trailer wheels covered in mud, trailer was washed on rhe way to the farm.
When I fill in search criteria on truck trader and commercial motor (8w tippers, 2014 onwards etc) and the search throws up ancient junk that Abdul in Walrus Bay sent back.
Local government/management nothing- speak like
-Stakeholder
-Deliverables
-Unpick
-Learning
-Solutions
-Local area action plan
-Pot of money
To me these are like fingernails on a blackboard. You see local government officials quoted with these phrases in local rags. Where do they learn this tripe?