Dipper_Dave:
Cheryl Cole Fernando-Vajazzle on X-Factor, someone please give that woman pie & chips. - I’ll give her a portion[/size]
X-Factor (apart from Rita Ora)
Chromecasts that struggle to play dodgy mkv files, cinavia protection on the ps3 (just for the geeks).
Trying to hold in a juicy post coitus ■■■■
Women who want a cuddle after coitus
[/quote]
Flies 
Despite most computers having a spell checker why must we put up with so much bad spelling ?.
toshboy:
Despite most computers having a spell checker why must we put up with so much bad spelling ?.
Yea, totularly agrea wiv ewe. [emoji12]
Needing a ■■■■ when parked on a trading estate, but a bit too much in the open to do a clean one up the wheel, now going to have use their germ infested loos.
Needing a ■■■… for the same reasons as given above.
Needing a tug… for the same reasons as given above the one above this one.
Getting caught having a tug on customers premises.
Those car carrying vans, dunno why just find them annoying
Noisy eaters
Heart FM - made me laugh the other day when they said they’re only station with the variety of music they have, must have a new CD then…
Toby Anstis on Heart…
Certain news readers on the radio who read the news with an annoying voice.
DAF95XF:
Heart FM - made me laugh the other day when they said they’re only station with the variety of music they have, must have a new CD then…
Toby Anstis on Heart…
Certain news readers on the radio who read the news with an annoying voice.
That Michelle Jordan on Heart has a voice best described as nails scraping down a blackboard. She definitely has a face for radio.
That “Ninja Warriors” on ITV. What a load of crap. A bunch of adults on an adventure playground, pretending they’re on Gladiators. And the finale? Running up a skateboard ramp.
Chromecasts…
Watched a family film from me tablet with Mrs dipper and the little dippers forgetting its on autoplay.
Film ended and retiring to kitchen to make a beverage heard the wife scream “bloody hell David, you dirty sod”. Rushed back into the living room to see two ladies having a ■■■ fight on our 50inch TV. Me eldest lad laughing his ■■■■ off and shouting ‘awkward’ didn’t help.
Could have been worse, I have some felching stuff I’ve been meaning to watch for yonks.
Dipper_Dave:
Chromecasts…
Watched a family film from me tablet with Mrs dipper and the little dippers forgetting its on autoplay.Film ended and retiring to kitchen to make a beverage heard the wife scream “bloody hell David, you dirty sod”. Rushed back into the living room to see two ladies having a ■■■ fight on our 50inch TV. Me eldest lad laughing his ■■■■ off and shouting ‘awkward’ didn’t help.
Could have been worse, I have some felching stuff I’ve been meaning to watch for yonks.
LOL, the funniest part of this is you being a dirty sod, and that being news to your wife!
Evil8Beezle:
Dipper_Dave:
Chromecasts…
Watched a family film from me tablet with Mrs dipper and the little dippers forgetting its on autoplay.Film ended and retiring to kitchen to make a beverage heard the wife scream “bloody hell David, you dirty sod”. Rushed back into the living room to see two ladies having a ■■■ fight on our 50inch TV. Me eldest lad laughing his ■■■■ off and shouting ‘awkward’ didn’t help.
Could have been worse, I have some felching stuff I’ve been meaning to watch for yonks.
LOL, the funniest part of this is you being a dirty sod, and that being news to your wife!
+1 nearly spat my tea out
Those annoying Tv adverts that insist you must buy a sofa in time for Christmas, the same for door and window adverts, order new windows in time for Christmas.
Ronnie Corbett flogging those ready made meals delivered to your door for coffin dodgers .
Insurance advertising that uses a silly cartoon character, a furry cuddly toy, a laughing dog or other childish gimmicks aimed at an adult customer.
With silly voice overs .
Those commemorative plate offers in crap magazines with the declaration that goes like this…
“YES! Please send me my Portion of Jethro commemorative plate by renowned Cornish artist Denzil Pembworthy. I understand I’m buying on the impulse it will be a valuable family heirloom which I will place on the sideboard next to the Michael Parkinson life insurance enquiry pen and the Ronnie Corbett food hamper. I understand that when I am deceased my executors will have the option of throwing my Portion Of Jethro plate in the bin or donating it to a local charity shop. I know I need send no money now so enclose a cheque for £257.27 plus £10 p&p. I have the option to request next day delivery in case I die this week for an additional £47 and I also fully accept that by reading this statement I have probably ■■■■■■ myself and missed Last of the Summer Wine.”
Watching programmes on demand and the sneaky sods put adverts in that you cant fast forward past so you have to sit through them.
That song called “I wasn’t expecting that.” Utter sixth form drivel.
That nobody has never thought of fast food or coffee drive through for lorries only .
You could buy truck accesories from your cab window from walking sticks for the limp men, digi paper, cmrs, Tir cords all in one place .
Healthier food to go as well .Newspapers, milk and energy drinks.
People who leave the doors open after using a service lift.
People who leave their headlights on main beam when they have parked - or sitting on a layby - inconsiderate ****s
Those glossy county “Life” magazines that people buy, with editorial pieces on things such as
“Labrador retrievers: making the most of rural Gloucestershire’s fabulous rambling routes for dog owners”
“Pint sized paradise: Jude McDonald samples a little corner of England in a lovely shabby-chic beach hut”
"“Fine Fayre - impress dinner guests during this years christmas party season with locally sourced organic food”
“Terra- warmer: Dale Swindon examines under floor heating in this beautiful barn conversion, now on the market for a song at £850,000”
“Sleeveless body warmers- every rural woman’s must have this year…”
(I’m making all this up but you get the idea )
As if people from the country actually live like this. These magazines are aimed at second home owners from the city who probably think that people do live like this. You can see by the adverts for bespoke kitchens, used independent Land Rover specialists and expensive “orangeries” by fabulously expensive and pretentious builders .
Arggggh!
Rearranging your gentlemen bits just after rubbing tiger balm on your back.