OK so to couple up…
Make sure park brake on trailer is on. Drop unit suspension, revese until the fifth wheel is under the front of the trailer then raise the unit suspension fully and you should see that the front of the trailer rises. Reverse until the pin locks in place, do tug test. Make sure park brake on the unit is on, you’d be amazed at just how many don’t and find the whole lot running away once they’ve coupled up fully.
Apply safety clip first. The attach airlines and electricals in whatever order you see fit, it makes no difference but put the red air line on first. Try to put them on in order so the leads aren’t all getting crossed over each other. Wind the legs up. Reset unit suspension height, attach number plate, one last check of the fifth wheel safety clip then take off the park brake on the trailer. Walk round do light checks, check tyres, wheel nuts etc.
When dropping a trailer take the number plate off, put the park brake on (although with modern ones it’ll come on automatically when you take the red line off), wind the legs down, remove the electrical and air lines and stow them on the unit, make sure the park brake is applied on the trailer, walk round the back and take the number plate off, pull the fifth wheel pin, drive forward 5-6 inches, lower the air suspension fully on the unit then pull out. Doing it that way won’t drop a load of weight on the trailer legs and bend them.
where are the 3 positions of the handle? (High speed, low speed and floppy - I seem to just fiddle about each time til it works).
The legs have a 2 speed gearbox on them, you pull the handle fully out for high gear which will wind the legs up faster but harder to do if there’s any weight on them usually when the legs are still on the ground, push it fully in for low gear which you use when there’s a load of weight still on the legs and you can’t wind them up reasonably easy in high gear and once it gets really easy in low gear then you can change to high. The middle point is basically a neutral so you can move the handle to stow it if you need to or move it so you can actually pull it out if some numbnuts has dropped it with it stuck behind the side guard rails which some do. Unless your unit can lift the trailer enough to take all the weight off the legs you’ll often find you have to start in low gear first until it gets easier then move to high gear. Be careful if you start off in high gear because if you put too much effort in when trying to turn the handle you can snap the bolt that holds it on so if you find yourself having to heave on it change it to low gear.
Do you lock it in position and have both hands on the end, or have one hand on either side of the bend?
Either. The hands on the end are the way to do it if they’ve got a lot of weight on them before you get to the point the legs lift off the floor or the legs are still because they are a bit bent, one hand on either side of the bend is how to do it the fastest once the legs are off the floor.