Truckstop chatup lines

[dieseldog999]

THESE ARE ALL TRIED AND PROVEN TO BE GUARANTEED TO HAVE ANY WOMAN WITHIN A 100 YARD RADIUS TO FALL FOR YOUR CHARMS

old or new,you must have been in some dubious truckstops with the attendant trollops in short supply…using these will bring a new meaning to the words…randy vanwarmer…

CHEESY CHATUP LINES.whats yours■■?

Me and my mate were in the pub last night and we shared our best chat up lines.

Some of his were so good I nearly went back to his place!

Your eyes are like spanners… Whenever you look at me my nuts tighten

U should be a parking ticket, coz u got “fine” written all over u
Saw a shooting star today and made a wish, looks like it came true when u walked in that door

Give us a go of your labia"

Are you wearing space pants? Cuz your ■■■ is out of this world

When in bed do u lie on ur front by any chance ?
No why ?
Can I lie on ur front then ?

How about I’ll be Burger King and you be McDonalds, I’ll have it my way and you’ll be loving it

I think you might have Ebola
Cause your eyes are bleeding gergous !!!

Heard what the scientists said?

No, what?

There will be only 7 planets left when I destroy Uranus.

You have pet insurance?

No… Why?

Pity, you’ll need it when I smash your ■■■■■.

Throw off your knickers and hop on for a spin

I may not be Fred Flinstone but I’ll make your bedrock

I bet you can’t wait until tonorrow? Why? Cuz you get better looking everyday ■■.

MY BEST CLAIM TO FAME WAS AFTER WATCHING THIS TART KNOCK BACK SEVERAL GUYS AND LOVING IT,I WENT OVER TO HER…TOOK HER BY THE ARM…LOOKED AT HER ARMPIT,AND WHEN SHE ASKED ME WHAT I WAS DOING,I REPLIED…YOU DONT SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT BIRD…she flung her drink at me and missed…it went down the neck of the girls behind me,who kicked off bigtime…they all got flung out fighting as I stood with another guy laughing…another great night out surrounded with pavement princesses…( in this particular pub,they wernt actually prossies,just enthusiastic amatures)

theres some of mine…so whats yours■■?..

[fatboy_slimslow]

Do you date on first ■■■■■?

[peirre]

Overheard at the fox inn (A1)

is there anything in your fridge for breakfast?

Or

fridge…what fridge

[bald_bloke]

Me: “Is that your space ship parked outside?”

Girl: “er no why you ask?”

Me: “You look out of this world so I assumed it was yours”

Girl: “Get your coat you’ve pulled”

[nick2008]

bald bloke:
Me: “Is that your space ship parked outside?”

Girl: “er no why you ask?”

Me: “You look out of this world so I assumed it was yours”

Girl: “Get your coat you’ve pulled”

was she a tug or a wrecker

[dipper_dave]

I find this line has just the right balance of humour and innuendo to get them frothing like a horse munching oats:

“Hello my names Pinnochio, sit on my face and I will tell you some lies”.

[toby1234abc]

I have met ladies that ask where I sleep in the lorry cab as they think there is no bunks in the back, they asked if I used hotels all the time.
Most ladies are clued up on tachographs and know we must stop for breaks and rest.

[darb]

Does this cloth smell like Chloroform to you ■■

Never failed yet

[dieseldog999]

Darb:
Does this cloth smell like Chloroform to you ■■

Never failed yet

class…

[bald_bloke]

nick2008:

bald bloke:
Me: “Is that your space ship parked outside?”

Girl: “er no why you ask?”

Me: “You look out of this world so I assumed it was yours”

Girl: “Get your coat you’ve pulled”

was she a tug or a wrecker

A teaser if I remember, shame she was a looker

[clunk]

If your left leg is lunch, and your right leg is dinner, then can I eat between meals?

Want to go halves on a baby?

Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine?

What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My flies

I want to wear you like sun glasses. One leg over each ear.

[tango_boy]

Wimbledon’s on fancy a game of tonsil tennis.

[bald_bloke]

tango boy:
Wimbledon’s on fancy a game of tonsil tennis.

You still single ■■

[tango_boy]

bald bloke:

tango boy:
Wimbledon’s on fancy a game of tonsil tennis.

You still single ■■

Married 13 years this year, 4 kids & 2 Grandkids

[bald_bloke]

tango boy:

bald bloke:

tango boy:
Wimbledon’s on fancy a game of tonsil tennis.

You still single ■■

Married 13 years this year, 4 kids & 2 Grandkids

Thank God for that cos that chat up line will get you no where

[tango_boy]

bald bloke:

tango boy:

bald bloke:

tango boy:
Wimbledon’s on fancy a game of tonsil tennis.

You still single ■■

Married 13 years this year, 4 kids & 2 Grandkids

Thank God for that cos that chat up line will get you no where

Won’t lie to you got a snog and that was it years ago lol

[bald_bloke]

Fair shout it worked for you .

[f-reds]

The word of day is legs, let’s go back to my place a spread the word…

It always resulted in a hearty look of derision

[shoshaye]

Don’t need chat up lines! Just a beard [attachment=-1]uploadfromtaptalk1425336024544.jpg[/attachment]

[dieseldog999]

that one looks like your giving a squirrel a blowie…