Truck drivers having a scrap

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS THE UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUM (INTERACTIVE)
21

muckles:

the maoster:
Old gits every time Beaver my man. Experience and treachery will beat youth and talent every time! Where’s Robroy in our group? Surely he’s as old and cantankerous as anyone else here? :smiley:

Yep where is Robroy, his omission could turn this thread into a total fail, I reckon he might be tough enough to have a category all of his own :laughing:

He was last seen on his way to E B’s to bang him out for not giving him a category all to himself, as Trucknet’s resident hardman!! Second only to Dipper Dave but that is a different category altogether.

22

A mate of mine is a scaffolder and usually drives the lorry and is hard as nails although his body is feeling the strain now so does he count ? If not can you tell him he doesn’t count !

23

mazzer:

muckles:

the maoster:
Old gits every time Beaver my man. Experience and treachery will beat youth and talent every time! Where’s Robroy in our group? Surely he’s as old and cantankerous as anyone else here? :smiley:

Yep where is Robroy, his omission could turn this thread into a total fail, I reckon he might be tough enough to have a category all of his own :laughing:

He was last seen on his way to E B’s to bang him out for not giving him a category all to himself, as Trucknet’s resident hardman!! Second only to Dipper Dave but that is a different category altogether.

Dipper Dave is definitely more a lover than a fighter, but I’m sure he’d be happy to go round EB’s and bang on his back door hoping to be let in. :confused:

24

A category for “the hardness of Robroy”?

Perhaps a different title…

25

Bollox to that, I’m paid by the hour so I’ll just wait and watch.
Plus it will be over by the time I’ve limped over…

Don’t we have a category for retired drivers that CF and Albion1971 can fit in to? :smiley:

26

Will there be snacks?

27

Evil8Beezle:
Bollox to that, I’m paid by the hour so I’ll just wait and watch.
Plus it will be over by the time I’ve limped over…

Don’t we have a category for retired drivers that CF and Albion1971 can fit in to? :smiley:

It’s in the pipeline once E B can get the title past the censors.

28

mazzer:

Evil8Beezle:
Bollox to that, I’m paid by the hour so I’ll just wait and watch.
Plus it will be over by the time I’ve limped over…

Don’t we have a category for retired drivers that CF and Albion1971 can fit in to? :smiley:

It’s in the pipeline once E B can get the title past the censors.

Old duffers?

29

Old gits is it, cheeky young pup, i’ll grab some Sanatogen then a couple tablespoonfuls of cod liver oil to dull the creaking of me bones down a bit then bloody shake me love handles at you.

Very amusing post Beaver, eleventy out of ten.

30

It will be hard to score Robroy, as on the outside he can ■■■■■ and moan with the best of the them, and probably kick your head in by just telling a good fight. Then there is the fact that he’s a rock hard bare chested Newcastle fan, so tough but also a no-hoper! :wink: Couple this then with that fact that he’s in touch with his ■■■■■■■■■ and openly admits that he fancied a bloke dressed as a school girl, which shows balls. Probably on both of them! :open_mouth: Then add in the Burt Reynolds swagger and confidence, partially in thinking he can carry off cowboys boots, which also make he look taller. :wink: Couple this with his hot pants shorts, 80’s medallion and Village People biker mustache, you’ve got to be hard to go for a look like that. So I think he’s probably a 9 or 10 out of 10.

But lastly we need to factor in his tasseled peek-a-boo curtains which cuts his rating in half, so he only comes out as a 5 at best! :grimacing:

31

You also missed out a rating for the Ex-Pat drivers Beaver!
As they were to sissy too hack it as drivers over here. :wink: I think they only get a rating of about 3, and while some of them might be hard as nails, as I’m happy to give it large in the hope they don’t come back! :open_mouth:

32

I am sad to inform you that Robroy is dead. He did indeed come round my place ‘giving it large’.

He was battered to death with a spare agency drivers boot (with a built up heel for the caliper), and then just to make sure, I strangled him with his gay frilly curtains.

33

eagerbeaver:
Been a lot of talk recently on here of trouble at the pumps (taking a 15 whilst filling up), road rage, etc… and it got me thinking of the TNUK community. We like to have our thread fisticuffs from time to time, but which group are the hardest?

The contenders; Old gits, Newbies, General mob, ADR/HIAB, Powder tankers, Biomass gang, Limpers, Box jockeys/Flats, Tippers.

1.OLD GITS. This group are headed by Juddian, Maoster, Muckles, Old 67, and all the remaining hairy eared crew. All driven Eaton quadrouple splitters and Bedford TK’s. Slept on planks of wood and tied knots with one hand whilst throwing a sheet over with the other. Severe hatred of auto gearboxes. HARDNESS RATING 7/10

2.NEWBIES. Young and strong. Ready for anyone who steps out of line and ‘disrespects’ them. Problem is though, by the time they have read their instruction manuals, the offenders have already buggered off. HARDNESS RATING 5/10

3.GENERAL MOB. Including reefers, boxes and curtainsiders. The largest bunch of drivers on the road, and all RDC heroes. An eclectic bunch of characters. ALL have served in the special forces and have encyclopedic knowledge of tacho rules. Nearly everone in this group has ‘knocked their manager out’ with one punch. HARDNESS RATING 8/10

4.ADR/HIAB. Quite specialised in their work and always wear hi viz boiler suits in orange. Most have swallow tattoo’s and moustaches.
Excellent head shaking ability and most of these professionals like Greggs. HARDNESS RATING 7/10

5.POWDER TANKERS. Often seen trying to catch Irish wagons doing 56.5 mph. Bulk buyers of CB’s and pelmets. These fella’s like gadgets and coffee. And can often be seen with 75% of their windscreen covered in tat. HARDNESS RATING 6/10

6.BIOMASS GANG. These drivers are easily indentified by revving their engines to build up air pressure because they have been at the motorway services so long. Fighting is of no interest to these guys, sleep is king. HARDNESS RATING 5/10

7.LIMPERS. Could’nt fight their way out of a wet paper bag, and very poor mobility makes this group ineffective combatants. HARDNESS RATING 1/10

8.CONTAINERS/FLATS. Both included in the same category as both types of driver are so laid back they almost fall over. ■■■■ and taking the ■■■■ are the preserve of these lot. HARDNESS RATING 6/10

9.TIPPERS. Tipper drivers are easily identifiable by excellent ■■■ rolling technique and broken rear lenses. Often far too busy on their phone to cash out from BET FRED to notice other drivers. HARDNESS RATING 6/10

Other categories include skips, class 2 only licence holders, and 7.5 tonne drivers. These drivers are not yet classified because they don’t matter.

You need to get yourself a hobby or a girl mate!

34

peter s:

eagerbeaver:
Been a lot of talk recently on here of trouble at the pumps (taking a 15 whilst filling up), road rage, etc… and it got me thinking of the TNUK community. We like to have our thread fisticuffs from time to time, but which group are the hardest?

The contenders; Old gits, Newbies, General mob, ADR/HIAB, Powder tankers, Biomass gang, Limpers, Box jockeys/Flats, Tippers.

1.OLD GITS. This group are headed by Juddian, Maoster, Muckles, Old 67, and all the remaining hairy eared crew. All driven Eaton quadrouple splitters and Bedford TK’s. Slept on planks of wood and tied knots with one hand whilst throwing a sheet over with the other. Severe hatred of auto gearboxes. HARDNESS RATING 7/10

2.NEWBIES. Young and strong. Ready for anyone who steps out of line and ‘disrespects’ them. Problem is though, by the time they have read their instruction manuals, the offenders have already buggered off. HARDNESS RATING 5/10

3.GENERAL MOB. Including reefers, boxes and curtainsiders. The largest bunch of drivers on the road, and all RDC heroes. An eclectic bunch of characters. ALL have served in the special forces and have encyclopedic knowledge of tacho rules. Nearly everone in this group has ‘knocked their manager out’ with one punch. HARDNESS RATING 8/10

4.ADR/HIAB. Quite specialised in their work and always wear hi viz boiler suits in orange. Most have swallow tattoo’s and moustaches.
Excellent head shaking ability and most of these professionals like Greggs. HARDNESS RATING 7/10

5.POWDER TANKERS. Often seen trying to catch Irish wagons doing 56.5 mph. Bulk buyers of CB’s and pelmets. These fella’s like gadgets and coffee. And can often be seen with 75% of their windscreen covered in tat. HARDNESS RATING 6/10

6.BIOMASS GANG. These drivers are easily indentified by revving their engines to build up air pressure because they have been at the motorway services so long. Fighting is of no interest to these guys, sleep is king. HARDNESS RATING 5/10

7.LIMPERS. Could’nt fight their way out of a wet paper bag, and very poor mobility makes this group ineffective combatants. HARDNESS RATING 1/10

8.CONTAINERS/FLATS. Both included in the same category as both types of driver are so laid back they almost fall over. ■■■■ and taking the ■■■■ are the preserve of these lot. HARDNESS RATING 6/10

9.TIPPERS. Tipper drivers are easily identifiable by excellent ■■■ rolling technique and broken rear lenses. Often far too busy on their phone to cash out from BET FRED to notice other drivers. HARDNESS RATING 6/10

Other categories include skips, class 2 only licence holders, and 7.5 tonne drivers. These drivers are not yet classified because they don’t matter.

You need to get yourself a hobby or a girl mate!

He can’t afford a hobby because he believed the agency when they said £1000pw for 2 days work.
and since developing a limp no woman will give him a second look. :laughing:

35

maybe the job makes them look rough but my bet is on tipper drivers,a lot of them are big lads,mind you if my stomach gets any bigger[its manageable at the mo]I could probably bounce them out the way

36

Bloody hell, I’m sat in the pub minding my own business getting what I thought were admiring looks from 2 of the female bar staff (until I looked down and saw 3 inches of my t.shirt hanging out of my open fly in my shorts. :blush: ) and then one of my (many :smiley: ) fans on here txt me to say I’m getting abuse…I aint even on the forum never mind the thread.ffs! :open_mouth:

As for being hard …I’m a bit like a swan, cool on the surface, but going like ■■■■ underneath.
If I get into a situation that I think/know will have a bad outcome (in terms of me losing a couple of teeth :smiley: ) I give them the full Ross Kemp confident style hardman glare, my face is saying ‘Come on then you bastds I’ll have you both’ … where as my mind is saying ‘■■■■ me, I’m gonna get a hiding here, I hope they don’t hurt me too much’’ :blush:

So no,… despite the cool, hard, attractive, toned, chisled, good looking, manly, butch, exterior, as well as the modesty, I’m just a cuddly pussycat.
:laughing:

Btw …can you all promise NEVER to bring up AGAIN my (misguided) fancy for Queen’s Roger Taylor dressed as a schoolgirl all those years ago.

:laughing:

It had to be you Evil8b didn’t it.!!! :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp:

37

Hmm ,so where does the owner operator feature in all this ?

38

Owner operators are very hard. They pay the local scrote to come round your gaff to ‘ave a word’.

They used to batter you themselves, but now they need cod liver oil tablets for their aching joints.

39

eagerbeaver:
I am sad to inform you that Robroy is dead.

How bad will you feel mate if things go really bad for me on the way home tomorrow. :laughing:
Promise to come back and haunt the hell out of you! :smiling_imp: :smiley:

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Woooh!!
:laughing:

40

eagerbeaver:
I am sad to inform you that Robroy is dead.

RIP in peace, sweet prince.