kr79:
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Re: collecting dead animals
by kr79 » Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:48 pm
Back in 2003 I was driving a artic bulker on landfill work for a south London skip firm as well as our own rubbish we did a bit out of other skip yards and council transfer stations.
One firm we pulled out of was a dodgy rough as hell half caravan living people outfit who had a couple of old stables in the yard with a a couple of scaby sorry looking donkeys in there. One Thursday afternoon I went in there and one of the donkeys had keeled over and there was already a few flys buzzing round.
The Guvnor wasn’t paying for the pet cemetery and came over and said alright if we put it on you. I said no way you can’t send it down a landfill site so without blinking he pulled out a wad of cash that could have choked a donkey rolled of a 50 and said are you sure. The colour of money clouded my judgement so I took the 50 and said ok but don’t take the ■■■■ with it. I pop down to the cafe come back and it’s loaded so I Pulled on to the weighbridge all ok so I just shut the easy sheet went back to the yard to park up.
Next morning I got in started the truck and instead of hearing a v8 scania fire up I got the ominous click of a knackerd starter motor and ended up in a spare lorry.
No work Saturday so it was Monday by the time muffin the mule was making his final voyage. 4-30 am I’m in the yard and I’m away down the old Kent road over blackheath down the a2 and off to the dartford tunnel. I got to the barrier and the attendant said your overheight. This wasn’t a surprise as my trailer was 15 ft 6 and often something sticking ip would set the sensors off. So I said il go for the right hand tunnel she said no your to high for it pull in to the tanker bay and sort it out.
I pulled in to the bay climbed up to se the now rotting donkey rolled half on it’s back and two rigimorticed legs sticking well up in the air. I opened the easy sheet and tried pushing this stinking thing back on it’s side but it just kept rolling back over. I grabed one of the legs and tried bending it but it was solid as a oak tree.
By this time I was covered in sweat and flys and heard another truck pull up I looked down to see Tony a guy I worked with he climbed up and just said what the [zb]. Now there was two of us trying to roll the dead donkey and bend it’s legs with little sucsess.
He said il be back in a second and returned with a big hacksaw and handed it to me and just said crack on son. My face droped and I said what am I going to do withthat and he replied cut it’s [zb] legs off son. I said I can’t he said I ain’t and have you got a better idea so I set to cutting thrrough the rotting flesh and bone. I was heaving at the blood and maggots going every where but eventualt cut far enough to bend them over. I came down covered in blood with a swarm of flys round me and went through the tunnel and to the landfill at averley.
I tipped it out and the fixer driver jumped out of his d8 saying you can’t tip that here and I had to give him 20 quid to keep his mouth shut.
Last edited by Colingl on Fri Oct 07, 2011 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Language edit, if it needs stars it ain’t allowed.
bazza123:
Having studied this pic a bit too closely ( ), why is the cow’s face missing??
I read this about 10 minutes ago. It’s taken me that long to compose myself! Why is it that the most simple one liners can be so devastatingly funny? I think it’s partly that I imagined someone stealing the cows face! What on earth would you use it for?
Sorry, gotta go, I’ve got snot and tears rolling down my face and there’ll be something else rolling down my leg if I’m not careful.
bazza123:
Having studied this pic a bit too closely ( ), why is the cow’s face missing??
I read this about 10 minutes ago. It’s taken me that long to compose myself! Why is it that the most simple one liners can be so devastatingly funny? I think it’s partly that I imagined someone stealing the cows face! What on earth would you use it for?
Sorry, gotta go, I’ve got snot and tears rolling down my face and there’ll be something else rolling down my leg if I’m not careful.
There was quite an interesting article about Horsemeat in the Telegraph today, some of the comments are hilarious, but Horse meat is still being used and enjoyed, the only bad thing they did was not identify the burgers as 28% Horse.
It’s weird how we view certain animals as food but others we don’t. Obviously the French eat horse and I’ve ate it there. Must admit it just seemed like a tough steak.
My wife who thinks all meat comes in a plastic tray wraped in cellophane wouldn’t eat any game vennison rabbits etc.
We was on holiday last year on the buffet I got some rabbit stew.she hadn’t spotted it tried a bit of mine as she thought it was chicken stew realt liked it went to get done when she saw it was rabbit she wouldn’t eat it and said she felt sick.
kr79:
It’s weird how we view certain animals as food but others we don’t. Obviously the French eat horse and I’ve ate it there. Must admit it just seemed like a tough steak.
My wife who thinks all meat comes in a plastic tray wraped in cellophane wouldn’t eat any game vennison rabbits etc.
We was on holiday last year on the buffet I got some rabbit stew.she hadn’t spotted it tried a bit of mine as she thought it was chicken stew realt liked it went to get done when she saw it was rabbit she wouldn’t eat it and said she felt sick.
I cannot eat Ox Tongue, it just tastes furry, but I have eaten most of the food where ever I have been. I don’t enjoy calamari, either that or it was over cooked. I love the charcuterie in France with all the different raw meats.
My favourite meat in France is Sanglier which is Wild Boar although I have eaten Horse fairly regularly.
A restaurant serving horsemeat normally has a sign outside celebrating the fact. La Viande Chevaline or a picture of a horse on the window.
Rabbit stew in Spain, the bones are tiny, it has a good taste, Tripe in France, looks bad, but is very good, Pig`s trotters, a bit greasy.
Goose liver Pate, strong tasting and very rich.Mirandela sausages from the Trans Montana area of Northern Portugal, they are mix of meats, they are shipped in for the Portuguese community in London for the restaurants.
kr79:
Top
Re: collecting dead animals
by kr79 » Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:48 pm
Back in 2003 I was driving a artic bulker on landfill work for a south London skip firm as well as our own rubbish we did a bit out of other skip yards and council transfer stations.
One firm we pulled out of was a dodgy rough as hell half caravan living people outfit who had a couple of old stables in the yard with a a couple of scaby sorry looking donkeys in there. One Thursday afternoon I went in there and one of the donkeys had keeled over and there was already a few flys buzzing round.
The Guvnor wasn’t paying for the pet cemetery and came over and said alright if we put it on you. I said no way you can’t send it down a landfill site so without blinking he pulled out a wad of cash that could have choked a donkey rolled of a 50 and said are you sure. The colour of money clouded my judgement so I took the 50 and said ok but don’t take the ■■■■ with it. I pop down to the cafe come back and it’s loaded so I Pulled on to the weighbridge all ok so I just shut the easy sheet went back to the yard to park up.
Next morning I got in started the truck and instead of hearing a v8 scania fire up I got the ominous click of a knackerd starter motor and ended up in a spare lorry.
No work Saturday so it was Monday by the time muffin the mule was making his final voyage. 4-30 am I’m in the yard and I’m away down the old Kent road over blackheath down the a2 and off to the dartford tunnel. I got to the barrier and the attendant said your overheight. This wasn’t a surprise as my trailer was 15 ft 6 and often something sticking ip would set the sensors off. So I said il go for the right hand tunnel she said no your to high for it pull in to the tanker bay and sort it out.
I pulled in to the bay climbed up to se the now rotting donkey rolled half on it’s back and two rigimorticed legs sticking well up in the air. I opened the easy sheet and tried pushing this stinking thing back on it’s side but it just kept rolling back over. I grabed one of the legs and tried bending it but it was solid as a oak tree.
By this time I was covered in sweat and flys and heard another truck pull up I looked down to see Tony a guy I worked with he climbed up and just said what the [zb]. Now there was two of us trying to roll the dead donkey and bend it’s legs with little sucsess.
He said il be back in a second and returned with a big hacksaw and handed it to me and just said crack on son. My face droped and I said what am I going to do withthat and he replied cut it’s [zb] legs off son. I said I can’t he said I ain’t and have you got a better idea so I set to cutting thrrough the rotting flesh and bone. I was heaving at the blood and maggots going every where but eventualt cut far enough to bend them over. I came down covered in blood with a swarm of flys round me and went through the tunnel and to the landfill at averley.
I tipped it out and the fixer driver jumped out of his d8 saying you can’t tip that here and I had to give him 20 quid to keep his mouth shut.
Last edited by Colingl on Fri Oct 07, 2011 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Language edit, if it needs stars it ain’t allowed.
Copied and pasted from when I posted it before
Still feel ill when I think of this now.
Bit of a thread resurrection but I still rate this as the best ever post on this forum and the funniest transport story I know.
That reminded me of an occasion a few years back when I sailed with an all Filipino crew on a small coaster. Was on watch by mesen during the middle of the night so had to go and make my own cup of tea, goes into the galley without turning the light on but the kettle was empty so switched the light on, turned around to the sink and got the fright of me life as there was a complete pigs head in it staring up at me ! Apparently the lads baked them whole and consider them a delicacy
back in the seventies I worked out of Christopher Hills in Poole on animal feed deliveries in my little 10 ton gross car licence Bedford tk,(seven ton payload legal) called at a farm near Winchester wandered up the drive to some barns and heard some voices inside one of them so rapped on the door and yanked it open just as the man with the big knife stepped away from a cow that was hanging from a beam just as all the unwanted bits tumbled out onto the floor, a bit of a shock, but still ate my sandwiches.
The MLC dudes used to spray all the BSE and OTMS stuff blue, as I often did the last trailer out I used to have a lot of heads in the load, these used to give the back door a good hiding, which led to the odd leak, many times I’ve left a blue trail of snot in my wake as I made my way to the rendering plant.
), why is the cow’s face missing??
