Had a couple of good ones today, one from a bloke that i was delivering to, the other to a bloke at the Traffic Office for Comet in Harlow.
The customer told me in no uncertain terms that I should be required by law to use my dipped beam lights at all times because he almost didn’t see me!
My response: “Its 14’ tall 8’ wide, 50’ long and painted bright red. There’s an optician over the road.”
The traffic office was worse! I had taken a decker with a tail lift down to the drop, opened the trailer up and found that the safety strap was bolixed. The carabina clip was completely seized and as the trailer was sealed before I left, I couldn’t check it. I had gone suitably ballistic about them denying me the chance to ensure that the load was restrained and the tail lift worked.
I arranged a strap using a combination of the side bars and a ratchet strap to get the delivery done and phoned the traffic office to let em know that I was on site, doing the drop and had encountered this problem. The TM’s words to me, and I quote:
“Only ■■■■■■■ use safety straps.”
My response was to tell the story of a colleague who will forever set off airport metal detectors after falling from a tail lift four feet in the air. His foot is so badly damaged that he may not drive a truck again. I expressed my concern at working twelve foot up with out a safety bar due to this and added:
“Ill be a ■■■■■ then. Only prats don’t use em, the clue is in the name.”
So, what idiotic comments have you heard recently. They seem to be getting more frequent and more inane as Christmas gets closer.
I noticed on the tacho that i was due a break, well i had two minutes left to take it or i go over again. So i parked up well over in the corner of the carpark and took a break.
Customer: Pull up over there and unload as i have a customer waiting for the goods
Me: Not yet, not for another 12 minutes as i am on a break
Customer: Can’t you just move the truck and put it on break whilst you unload the goods
Me: Do you know that’s wrong to do that?
Customer: (looks at me with a thick look on his face)
Whilst chatting one of his drivers in a rigid parks up
Me: Go and ask that driver if he would unload whilst on a tacho break
Customer: Why?
I then call the driver over
Me: Hello mate how are ya. I have a question
Driver: yeah what is it
Me: would you unload whilst on a tacho break
Driver: Like ■■■■ i wouldn’t
I then grin at the customer
Me: If your own driver wouldn’t, why do you expect me to do it?. You will have to wait till it finishes and i will get it off quickly for you
I then jumped into the cab and finished my break
Before the heroes post love letters i am not breaking any law for anyone. My driving license is my living
MMTM I could go 15 mins over and Vosa won’t touch me! 
