They pulled up in his 10 plate Jag. He went in to pay while she filled up. Here she is explaining why she filled it with diesel instead of petrol. Any ideas as to how the conversation is going?
I filled it up with the wrong fuel, because I am a stupid bimbo…Simples!
“What’s diesel??”
Yes…I’m a useless ■■■, who shouldn’t be let out. Never mind being trusted with such a complex task!
Show me a hoover, or a cooker, washing machine…Now that’s a different kettle of fish.
Well it came out of the pump, so it’s not my fault now is it 
My other boyfriends car is diesel 
You know last night when you ‘made a mistake’ and slipped your nozzle in the wrong hole? 
Well think of this as payback, right hole, wrong nozzle.
Diesel is just another name for petrol isn’t it?
I was TRYING to get more miles out of the thing, you said diesels go for longer! I don’t know why you had to go for that bloody lump anyway. I wanted an Aygo… etc etc
on your knees, it’s time to pay.
You like me in black suspenders and stockings so why not the black nozzle at the fuel pump inside your car?
Pouring petrol into a diesel car is a lot like pouring gin into a woman.
You know at some point during the night, they’re gonna break down.
Why the black pump, you now petrol is the green one! I had other things on my mind 
thinks to herself best not mention i have just put anti freeze in the screewash as well as this
It cost more so it must be better - just think how much I saved you in the long run