steveo999:
This probably belongs in Bully’s bar but I thought it might lighten the tone.
What are the most likely things that you’ll never hear? Here are three to be going on with.
- At an RDC; “Straight onto bay so and so mate, we’ll get straight on with it.”
- “That new ERF is a cracker of a truck isn’t it?”…
- From a rep;“After you mate”!!
And still don’t hear them nearly ten years on!!! How times have changed - not!
“Hey, I don’t want you working elsewhere, so tell you what - here’s a 48 hour per week contract for the next ten years with an extra £5 per hour as a retainer!” 
“That chauffeur run picking up the drunk, home-going royal ascot girls and taking them home has been turned down by everyone else - do YOU want it?” 
“Hey! - You’re the salaried guy yes? - Nip down the shops and do us a favour, and we’ll call that your job and knock run for today.” 
Simon:
From Taz
From wife/partner: "hello darling - the kids are very happy in their new swiss boarding school and are learning a lot of useful stuff, I have employed a dog walker, your porsche is back from the valeters and now you go and eat your steak while i wash your truck and do your VAT!!!Thats a bit over the top Taz, expecting the wife to wash your truck and do your VAT.
How about getting the accountant to do the damned VAT, followed by “I’ve already washed the car honey, so I’m at a loose end for the next hour… Meet you upstairs in five!” 
steveo999:
- At an RDC; “Straight onto bay so and so mate, we’ll get straight on with it.”
Perhaps I’ve been lucky.
I used to do a regular 0430 Tesco Doncaster and was almost always very early.
I would ring from the M18 to ask if I could bring it in, often as early as 0130.
More than once, I’ve been told “you bring it in and we’ll tip it”, so I did and so did they,
usually within 30 minutes.
Regards,
Nick
You’ve been away since Monday, get yourself home and see your family
Car driver " sorry for parking in the loading bay, I will move for you so you don’t have to drive round and round the block while I get my breakfast in the cafe"
Transport office " I will put that drop on someone else as you have enough to do"
sorry driver i know some of you work wk-ends aswell so me all my caravan mates will move out of the lorry park so you can have your 45 ||||
or
no drive we’ve never had a wagon that big in here before, u best come have a look first !!!
Yeh come on drive, I’ll watch you in instead of standing with the rest laughin at you messin that blind side up !!
Madguy 
when one of the vostarpo galaxys pulls in front of you and flashes up,that looks a well maintained underweight vehicle, have a nice day drive 
oh good, another 9 year old thread has been ressurected.
Tock Tock Tock Tock Tock Tock Tock Tock
I think that’s the noise BMW indicators make
yer never see anything about stobarts on here
gizzer:
sorry driver i know some of you work wk-ends aswell so me all my caravan mates will move out of the lorry park so you can have your 45 ||||or
no drive we’ve never had a wagon that big in here before, u best come have a look first !!!
If I’m towing a trailer with the Land Rover I always just park in the car park at services and take up two spaces. What I hate is the way caravanners in the HGV park are always watching in case you hit their caravan.
Every time I squeeze in to some business premises that really aren’t suitable for an artic I always feel a bit guilty as you know what some poor sod who doesn’t like the look of it is going to get told.
Place the other day reversing down endless narrow lanes and the farmer took a photo with his phone to show the driver at the feed company that won’t come down - when he told me what he was doing I wish I’d said the same as the feed driver.
The crack of a frown when you are here !!
steveo999:
This probably belongs in Bully’s bar but I thought it might lighten the tone.
What are the most likely things that you’ll never hear? Here are three to be going on with.
- At an RDC; “Straight onto bay so and so mate, we’ll get straight on with it.”
- “That new ERF is a cracker of a truck isn’t it?”…
- From a rep;“After you mate”!!
The one and only time I delivered to Tesco Livingston, I got told to go straight onto a bay by the goods in operative on the intercom. And within 30 mins of being on the bay, my 6pls were off, goods checked and had my keys and p/w back in my hand, ready to leave. Can’t complain.
on arrival at a tight delivery yard, “no drive, we never had a bigger 1 than that in here last week.”
chilistrucker:
on arrival at a tight delivery yard, “no drive, we never had a bigger 1 than that in here last week.”
Yes, but you can’t argue with them now. They might have had one of those new longer trailers in the week before. So just maybe they aren’t lying this time.
“agency drivers? salt of the earth, we really couldn’t do without them”
“Thank the agency driver who covered for me last week, he did a great job, and even washed my truck for me!”
Thanks driver, I’ll get your agency to pay you a bonus for getting us out of the crap"
“wish i could do the variety of work that most agency drivers do, instead of just being a one trick pony”
“good morning agency driver, how are you today? do you need any help with our procedures, our trucks or finding where you are going?”
kindle530:
oh good, another 9 year old thread has been ressurected.
Might be nine year old m8 but it shows how things haven’t moved on!!! Also its obviously as relevant today as it was back then!!!
kindle530:
oh good, another 9 year old thread has been ressurected.
Maybe we should just “ignore” it then.