Did you eat it all then ?
Working on it.
I’m beginning to think my Mrs is one of those ‘‘feeders’‘ you read about, who bulk up their partners to make them less attractive to the opposite sex to keep them all to themselves.
Home made apple pie covered in fresh cream….and ice cream .
She is now preparing latte cream coffee and biscuits, with a bit of her chocolate cake…..I will say no more and leave it there 
Has she changed religion lately? Has @maoster been talking to her?
Cannibalism? 
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No she’s still of Asian heritage and a Moslem… not changed as far as I know.
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^^^^^ He hasn’t bitten, I wish she really was Asian moslem, it would sure as hell shut him up.
Anyhoo… more of ‘‘Rob’s Weekend’‘ adventures.
She’s tried to refine my tastes with some poncy type lager (got to admit it WAS quite nice) she stopped short of serving it Dutch style to drink it through a slice of lime in the bottle neck though….that would be a step too far.
So now she’s brought me a pint of Guinness in my favourite glass.
I lurrrrve my weekends off.
He’d gone to work rob , apparently a just booked o/t shift , apparently when I went to bed previous night wife started on him again , my girl enjoyed it as apparently he could get a word in edgeways !! , I wrnt shopping with my girl /wife
Wife is on a mission at moment , do women have another menopause in 60,s 
, its either him / me at the moment i, my girl / the little sod ( cat ) seem immune to any ranting .
Good god rob that looks like a recipe to join the diabetic club , not sure your mrs is trying to bulk you up , more like kill you , have you a lot of insurances ?
Though it’s times like now , seeing that lovely cake / pudding I think why me , I had some mandarins / Greek yoghurt for pud last night as wife said meal was a bit carb laden , whilst she had some trifle 
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Looks lovely lancpudn , but you need to mash swede / carrots & lashings of gravy , maybe cut cabbage up finer as well
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Agreed, mashed carrot & swede is a match made in heaven & the best way to serve it, I was just having a change.
The best way too serve it is chuck the swede in the bin 1st 
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I love swede , but must be mashed , wife once put it on Plate un - mashed , so I mashed it with my fork , it’s always been mashed since
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I’m just knocking up a salmon & broccoli quiche for tea tonight with some air fryer chips.
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Salmon and broccoli in a quiche eh?…. Never had that but it does sound nice.
Had to fend for myself today wife at work, so only a snack for dinner….a bit of quiche as coincidence goes, but ham cheese and tomato.
Went to butchers got some (genuine) Cumberland sausage for tonight’s tea, snd went visiting family.
Took a pie each for my Dad and my Auntie, and went to care home to see me Mam, took Auntie along.
Caan’t get a proper conversation out of Mam, she recognised us, but tbh I don’t think she realises where tf she is…..which maybe ain’t to bad on reflection,.she never wanted to end up in a home..
Anyhoo …
Back home now waiting for Mrs……
…… ..to come home and make my tea.
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Guinness in a toon glass-niva darken oor terraces agin laddie! 
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It was bootiful & went down well, I get those lightly smoked salmon filets from Iceland when I order meat/poultry & fish for the freezer. They’re delicious poached. 
Dad went the same way, some days he’d recognise you & talk to you, but other times he’d no idea who you were.
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