should we not be having our own 4 yearly event■■?
what would you like to see as an event, or is there an event you’d excel in■■?
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perhaps the 100m sprint, (or fast walk) to the goods in office to get a bay.
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the hammer throwing event, (modified to hit various broken parts of a trailer located on the infield)
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relay, 4x100 strokes of the truckstop lot lizard, (pity whoever does the last leg)
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long jump, into a sandpit, that has been proffesionally chalked off on bay 7, at toscos r.d.c hackney.
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high jump, we’ve all probably excelled at this at some stage.
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freestyle diving, (this event is being held at victors in burgos) as the fox on the a1 has a “private function on”
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the marathon, or snickers, will now be known at the yorkie, (sorry, its not for girls.)
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archery, william tell style. replacing the small boy with apple on head, with the traffic manager/planner/ ■■■■■■■■ of your choice.
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rifle/pistol shooting, (see number 8 for details)
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tennis, at wimbledon, early start for this, due to weight bans, and no stopping for those horrible lorry type things in our area. (be warned though, h.a.t.o. wombles are hotly tipped to do well in wimbledon, as there wombling free, making good use of the things that they find…)
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mountain biking, a gold will be awarded to any driver that can mount any said bike. note, stabilisers won’t be fitted.
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sat nav eventing, spread over 2 days. negotiate your way through some very tight lanes, there is a hidden low bridge somewhere, so will you trust your ■■■■■■■■ the local comedy farmer, a map, or some common sense■■? if successful on completing set route, within a 4 and half driving period, you will be allowed to park in the olympic paddock truckstop overnight for free!!! once you’ve completed the last stage of the event, the 10 truck dash, for the last space in said olympic truckstop. extra points awarded for a blind side in, with no shunts!!!
CUSTOMERS PLEASE NOTE, the olympic paddock truck park does not allow you to bring your own food and drink on site, we have food and drink retailers available for you on site. happy meals are favorite, do you want fries, (no chips) with that, and any beverage as long as it begins with C and ends in OKE.
columbians you are not allowed to bring your own c.o.k.e
showers are available, although someone keeps nicking the shower heads and curtains, see dutch/spain/portugal as below
please note, if you want to represent your country of choice, please arrive in national dress,
u.k. reebok shorts, primani vest top, (with hi viz) and nike rigger boots.
germans, sports dungarees. and a towel at the ready for your lounger for the poolside events.
french, shorts, stripey top and onions round neck, (no bike this time though, bradley wiggins has it)
greeks, toga’s (although banned from leaky canoeing events) we’ve baled you out enough.
easties, reebokski shorts, nikeski vest top, (moody 1 of course) and flop flips, remember your lidl carrier bag for your kit.
dutch drivers/entrants, see easties
spanish drivers, see dutch
portugese entrants, see spain, etc,etc…
yes i have to much time right now.