We must have heard them all on our travels,so please,share them with us,let’s have a giggle at ourselves…
“I had the goods-in[zb] pinned to the wall”…
"“I had 80mph on the clock the other day”…
“When I worked for so and so”…(if they were that great why did you leave■■? 
Any additions greatly recieved!! 
Dan.
‘‘back in day we were driving old albians all night to get home in morning to spend the day down pit. To start all again at night. All for 2 and 6 a week. You dont know how easy you got it me laddie’’ (sort of thing)
‘‘one night i was driving on road to xxxxx and we were moving so slow (remeber this is the early 50’s) i got overtaken by a tractor’’ (true story told by a old guy i know… so must be true )
‘‘Back in my day…’’
“I’m going to buy me own motor. ■■■ has told me if I get a truck I’ll easily clear a grand a week …”
“My boss has already got a 5 series on order; we’re having a demonstrator next month”
“I’m going to pack this lark in, this is a mug’s game”
“Those French drivers, they stick together. Why can’t we be like them?”
“Yeah, I’ve done Middle East, and I’ve been to China … only the one time mind”
“Eaton twin splitter; that was the gearbox, course not just anybody could drive 'em”
“A mate of mine goes to Afghanistan with his truck”
“Supermarket drivers! They don’t know the first thing about driving”
“My truck was clean when I left to go on holiday, now look at it. Those agency drivers are all the same”
“I haven’t had time to clean my truck, been going flat out all week”
“That Streamline 143 was the best they ever made - much better than that truck they do now, and it was bigger inside”
“I was clearing £1200 a week on that job”
“Don’t like those auto boxes, you ain’t got no control over 'em”
Ever heard the one about how much my mate who works for ### earns, or how about how little I earn.
My mate has a secret switch so his tacho only shows 56 at 100, is always good for a laugth as mate X always seems to tell everyone about it !.
from a few years ago
“One hit Prato John”
sdj
The favourite seems to be “THEY SAID”
Everyone has heard that they said something will or has happened, …
… Who are ‘THEY’?
Example today it began snowing on a moutain top on the Massachusetts turnpike, it was getting a bit heavy but not too bad, some guy said “I heard they’ve got 14 inches in Syracuse”
a driver goes the other way and says “I left Syracuse 3 hours ago and it was dry”
“Well thats what I’d heard” says the idiot.
“Who told you that?” asks the other guy.
“THEY said so”
I was talking to this chap the other day who tried to persuade me that he was kept waiting so long at a tesco rdc,he dropped his trailer across the security gate and buggered off to town.His boss rang him some time later to go back and move it and they would tip him straight away. They didnt so he turned the wagon around and backed out so he woudnt damage his wagon as he knocked the security barrier down.Im sat there saying never. you didnt did you? yes he said ,they didnt keep me hanging around the next time I went there
I wish i had a pound for everytime drivers have said to me.“I WAS BOOKED ON THE HERALD OF FREE ENTERPRISE,BUT WAS JUST TOO LATE”.With all the trucks that should have been on it,it would of sunk with the weight.
Heard regularly in the non-vbs pregate at SCT…“Only 8hrs? I’ve been here since 11am yesterday morning…”
Worst bit is, they’re more than likely telling the truth… 
Welshman:
I was talking to this chap the other day who tried to persuade me that he was kept waiting so long at a tesco rdc,he dropped his trailer across the security gate and [zb] off to town.His boss rang him some time later to go back and move it and they would tip him straight away. They didnt so he turned the wagon around and backed out so he woudnt damage his wagon as he knocked the security barrier down.Im sat there saying never. you didnt did you? yes he said ,they didnt keep me hanging around the next time I went there
I used to work for Tesco and I can assure you that the guy would have been arrested with out any time wasted.
I always like the opening line so many truckers use when they are about to tell you a ‘story’, and it goes like this…"You a’int gonna believe this [zb]! (due to word censor it is roughly translated as number two’s)
Sorry Cliff, but we get the jist…and it has to be one rule for all in here, I’m afraid! L. 
My Husband always say’s “That’s Transport for you”
kineta
my old gaffer used to say:
16 drops around manchester and made it home for tea
to my replie:
theres your keys you [zb] off and do it 
jon
Since gaffers have crept in to this, I’ll share this gem
Old gaffer to me “take your time, and hurry up back”
Is it me, or is that crazy?
Mal.
[/quote]
lucy r been here 11 hours ive been here since 8am
you obviously havent been to felixstowe today
Nope…at home with my feet up…day off! 
Alix are you in a 95XF now per chance ? Saw one of yours heading in as I was coming out about 1500 (I was there at 1130 on 72 park and then straight onto the pad on 36 park via 15 mins in the THA [had a bite to eat in Felix too]). I heard it was closed early this morning and it’s closed now (my mate Keith is stuck down there, poor sod) until midnight coz of the gale, sorry, light breeze.
Brgds
Speedy
you’ve got to run bent else the job wont get done. …or as i say if it cant be done legally it cant be done… 