This year the queens christmas speech will be in the ever popular cockney rhyming slang and is as follows:
My old dutch and i, as we sit by our Jeremiah in Buckingham Palace, with our gawd fer bids by our side, are especially thinking of you all this christmas tide, sitting in your own rat and mouse and cluttered round the ned kelly, or having a bit of a ding dong round the old joanna.
How i wish we could be with you all today, sharing a pint of pigs ear, or filling our darbies round your cain and able. But this cannot be.
I greet too the empire, upon which the currant bun never sets, whether you are in the daft and barmy maintaining law and order in a far flung outpost or in the royal soup and gravy afloat on the high housemaids knees, i greet you all with my warmest pots and dishes.
As we take a butchers hook at what lies before us on the frog and toad, let us remember those less fortunate than ourselves, those who are on their jack jones, a man without a ■■■ willow to lay his head on, a girl very much down on her luck, those who are taters in the mold, those without any in the ■■■■ at all, and let us be thankful for small piccadilly percy`s.
Now i must leave you as Phillip has just roled in from the rub-a-dub and is in a right old two and eight thinking he has missed his Jim Skinner.
So i will have to go and pour him a large Forsyte sager to keep him quiet.
Therefore, in conclusion, may i wish you a happy new year, my jam tart goes with you all.
