Vince knew it was going to be a bad day. First his car had almost refused to start; then, it had stalled at a junction and refused to start again! He was late for work. He would have to have a word with Barry the fitter, see if he could have a quick look at it between coffees.
As he entered the transport office, Frank, another driver, was talking with Charlie the despatcher. Charlie looked up.
“Nice of you to pop in.” said Charlie. “You were due out 20 minutes ago.”
Vince grunted. “Sorry Charlie, bloody car problems again”
“I don’t know why you don’t get rid of that old heap” said Frank.” it’s nothing but a pain in the arse”
“all I can afford at the moment” replied Vince” I’ll ask Barry to look at it later”
“Oh no you don’t” shouted Charlie “He’s got enough to do fixing that truck that somebody bent yesterday” Charlie said, casting a withering glance at Frank.
Frank blushed and looked away.
“OK Charlie give us me paperwork and let me get off” said Vince.
“not so fast Vince, Mr Dowright wants a word with you about a complaint he got yesterday” said Charlie.
“Complaint?” asked Vince innocently. “Not about me surely”
Just then the managers door opened and out came Timothy Dowright, new transport manager for trumps international Transport.
“OK Charlie just off to do we daily checks” said Vince as he hurried for the door.
“Not so fast Vince.” Said Mr Dowright. “I want a word with you in my office.
Vince followed him in and sat down arms folded, Charlie entered too.
“Now Vince, I’ve had a complaint about you getting lost yesterday” Said Mr Dowright.
Me Lost? Nah I never get lost, know exactly where I am” said Vince.
“so” said Dowright,” you knew where you were when you went onto the tow path?”
“not my fault” said Vince “the canal was blue on me map, I thought it was a slip road onto the motorway”
“Didn’t the fact that it was covered in grass make you think something was wrong? And how did you manage to get a 14 foot trailer under a 12 foot bridge?” asked Dowright.
“To be fair Mr Dowright” said Charlie. “It’s not easy to read a map when you’re driving, especially if you’re trying to drink your coffee at the same time.”
Dowright and Vince looked at Charlie; neither could believe they heard that right.
“Be that as it may, you really need to be more careful in future. Luckily our insurance will pay for the replacement thatch on the lock masters cottage, and the woman who jumped into the lock isn’t going to sue us, but we can’t afford too many accidents like that.” Said Dowright. “Have you thought about getting a satnav? Asked Dowright.
Vince looked puzzled. “Isn’t that for watching sports TV channels with?”
“Vince is not the most technologically gifted person” said Charlie. “he still can’t find radio 2 on his truck radio and thinks the cassette slot is for toasting crumpets.”
“OK” said Dowright. “Just try to see it doesn’t happen again”
“Yes Mr Dowright” said Vince and Charlie in unison as they backed out of the office.
Outside frank was waiting to see what happened. “well?” he said.
“No, canal.” Said Charlie. “Now get off the pair of you and don’t forget your daily checks!”
“Daily checks?” Asked Vince. “There were 14 wheels on the truck yesterday, there are 14 wheels on it today, that’ll do, come on Frank lets go get a brew!”
In the canteen frank was worried. “ere Vince, maybe I should do me daily checks, I got a knocking noise somewhere in me cab”
“Well turn the radio up” replied Vince.
“No” said Frank. “what if it’s something dangerous like brakes or steering”
“Just aim for something soft” replied Vince as he walked off towards his truck.
Presumably the names have been changed to protect the guilty.
PMSL
I used to work there
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