There was an old couple, and they had a very big argument so they started saying all the hurtful things …as you do…so the man said when you die im gonna get you a headstone that reads here lies my wife as cold as everto which the wife replied and when you die im gonna get you a headstone that reads here lies my husband.....stiff at last
Like it 
A little boy & a little girl are having an argument.
& as is normal it revolve around my dad is bigger than your dad & my mums car is bigger than your mums etc etc.
After a few minutes of this the little boy can think of nothing else to add & so after a few seconds of silence he drop his trousers & say’s I bet you ain’t got one of these.
The little girl bursts into tears & runs home returning five minutes later with a big smile one her face.
She walks up to the little boy raises her skirt & says “My mum says with one of these I can get one of those ANY TIME I WANT.”
When a young girl heard that her Grandfather had died, she went to visit her Grandmother. She hugged her Gran and asked how he had died.
The Grandmother said “He died when we were making love on Sunday morning dear”
The grand daughter was aghast and said “Grandma, that’s terrible, surely he should not have been making love at his age■■? He was 95!!”
The grandmother wiped away a tear, and said "We made love every Sunday morning dear… we did it to the chimes of the church bells… ding for in… dong for out…
… if it hadn’t been for that damned ice cream van driving past, he’d still be here"
PMSL@Runaroundtel
Very funny 
A man goes to his Dr’s & tells him he is having a few problems & would as a result like some Prozac, the Dr asks a few questions reaches into his pockets, lays some loose change on his desk & tells the man he only needs to learn the 37p technique.
the mans asks what that is.
Imagine he is told you have a 10p coin on your back side, a 2p coin on the right cheek a 5p coin on the left & a 20p coin at the front.
Now in your mind I would like you to move each individual coin, pull back the 10p, gently move the 2p a little & then the 5p, now easily move the 20p fowards, gently, easily & with rhythm.
& again 10p, 2p, 5p, 20p.
10p, 2p, 5p, 20p.
The man goes home working the method over in his mind & for the first time in months his wife is singing his praises.
that is until.
10, 5p, 2p, 20p,
10p, 5p, 2p, 20p.
Oh sod it 37, 37, 37 37 37 37 37.
so there was this little boy in the bath with his mum…so he said mum, where do babies come from…and mum pointing to her privates said babies come from here darlin…cor blimey he said anuvver half inch and i woudda been a turd…
have a nice day
truckyboy:
so there was this little boy in the bath with his mum…so he saidmum, where do babies come from…and mum pointing to her privates saidbabies come from here darlin…cor blimeyhe saidanuvver half inch and i woudda been a turd…
have a nice day
Very funny truckyboy