A lawyer was out hunting when he shot a duck flying overhead.
The lawyer hurried to where the duck had fallen, only to find a farmer standing there with his foot on the dead bird.
“Give me my duck,” demanded the lawyer, but the farmer shook his head.
“No, it fell on my land, so it’s my duck,” “But I shot it,” protested the lawyer, “so it should be mine.”
They argued back and forth for half an hour until the farmer said, “Look, we’re never going to resolve this by arguing. Here in the countryside we settle matters with the three kick method. Do you want to try it?”
The lawyer didn’t know what that was, so the farmer explained.
“What we do is to have three kicks to hurt the other one. The first one to give in loses. I’ll have my three kicks first if that’s OK.”
The lawyer looks at the farmer, who is well into his sixties, and thinks, “I’m a young, fit guy. He won’t hurt me, and I’ll boot him into the next field,” so he agrees to let the farmer go first.
The farmer swiftly boots the lawyer in the groin. He falls to the floor, and as he tries to get up the farmer kicks him in the face, breaking his nose. Staggering upright, he feels a terrible pain in his knee where the farmer aims his final kick.
Eventually, composing himself, the lawyer snarls at the farmer. “Right, you’re going to pay now!”
“No,” says the farmer…
“I give up. You can have the duck!”