dieseldog999:
why am i now getting a mental picture of santa sitting on the sleigh,looking at a bag of carrots and 8 reindeers [zb] imagining what end he is going to ram them in once said reindeer starts slowing down…
I reckon that’s the 18+ version of santa and his beloved reindeers… 
Retired Old ■■■■:
It is my painful duty to call for a vote of “No confidence” in Mr Windrush. I am surprised, nay disappointed, that a founder member of this club should conduct himself in such a manner. Next thing we know he’ll be trundling around Matlock dressed in red with a false beard, singing carols and handing out mince pies. Will somebody please stop him before he damages the reputation of this club forever?
Finished writing and delivering all the cards today ROF, off ‘down south’ tomorrow for a few days and then on our return it will be almost time to sort our christmas dinner out and make a few mince pies. Decorations and cards will be put up later today and that’s it then, job done and time to relax. Not exactly hard work this christmas lark, quite enjoyable really and a shame that it only comes but once a year. 
Pete.
Just the other day, Her indoors asked me (nicely) to get her 30 second class stamps at the local post office whilst I was banking the Parish cash and posting my Uncles card to America. OVER £17. I needed to lie down I tell you. That ammount would have bought me over 100 pints of Watneys Red and subsidised my losses on the Dart Board in the Two Brewers in Diss in the sixties. The young uns say we look back with Rose-tinted specs but Horlicks to what they think. I was on over £ 15 a week and the world was my Oxster. Or a shellfish anyway. Jim.
windrush:
Retired Old ■■■■:
It is my painful duty to call for a vote of “No confidence” in Mr Windrush. I am surprised, nay disappointed, that a founder member of this club should conduct himself in such a manner. Next thing we know he’ll be trundling around Matlock dressed in red with a false beard, singing carols and handing out mince pies. Will somebody please stop him before he damages the reputation of this club forever?Finished writing and delivering all the cards today ROF, off ‘down south’ tomorrow for a few days and then on our return it will be almost time to sort our christmas dinner out and make a few mince pies. Decorations and cards will be put up later today and that’s it then, job done and time to relax.
Pete.
I reluctantly concur with your vote of no confidence regarding the so called member from matlock ROF . I would go so far as to say that when he tries to return from his few days down south the border should be closed and the guards put on high alert , flaming incomers , mumble mumble . There is also the fact to be accounted for of said person renewing his hgv at his age , bad as that kev person up north , rebels the pair of them , need to learn to grow old ( dis)gracefully like what we have .
rigsby:
I reluctantly concur with your vote of no confidence regarding the so called member from matlock ROF . I would go so far as to say that when he tries to return from his few days down south the border should be closed and the guards put on high alert , flaming incomers , mumble mumble . There is also the fact to be accounted for of said person renewing his hgv at his age , bad as that kev person up north , rebels the pair of them , need to learn to grow old ( dis)gracefully like what we have .
[/quote]Well for a start I may not even be allowed back in ‘down south’ as, after 41+ years here, they possibly wont want me back?
Oh, and I’m not old either, thank’s very much.
I’m still in the prime of my life and plenty young enough to be the offspring of most posters on this thread.
Pete.
You already know the answer pete , once an incomer , always an incomer . 41 years is nowt up here you need to be born and (in)bred to fit in . I also thought i was in my prime at 66 , seems a long while ago now though . Dave
rigsby:
You already know the answer pete , once an incomer , always an incomer . 41 years is nowt up here you need to be born and (in)bred to fit in . I also thought i was in my prime at 66 , seems a long while ago now though . Dave
Aye Dave, to be accepted you need to come from places like Bonsall or Middleton where there are only two surnames in the villages! 
Pete.
mushroomman:
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
I have sent you ALL a Christmas card, could you please send it back in a couple of weeks time. Thank you.
I guess Mushroom wants to recycle them for next year. He’s becoming a modern man and helping to save the planet! Should be commended!
Johnny
Sent from my Hol-U19 using Tapatalk
windrush:
Retired Old ■■■■:
It is my painful duty to call for a vote of “No confidence” in Mr Windrush. I am surprised, nay disappointed, that a founder member of this club should conduct himself in such a manner. Next thing we know he’ll be trundling around Matlock dressed in red with a false beard, singing carols and handing out mince pies. Will somebody please stop him before he damages the reputation of this club forever?Finished writing and delivering all the cards today ROF, off ‘down south’ tomorrow for a few days and then on our return it will be almost time to sort our christmas dinner out and make a few mince pies. Decorations and cards will be put up later today and that’s it then, job done and time to relax.
Pete.
You’ve really lost the plot mate…
jsutherland:
mushroomman:
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
I have sent you ALL a Christmas card, could you please send it back in a couple of weeks time. Thank you.I guess Mushroom wants to recycle them for next year. He’s becoming a modern man and helping to save the planet! Should be commended!
JohnnySent from my Hol-U19 using Tapatalk
I always re-wrap presents in old news papers…anything to save a penny… 
windrush:
rigsby:
I reluctantly concur with your vote of no confidence regarding the so called member from matlock ROF . I would go so far as to say that when he tries to return from his few days down south the border should be closed and the guards put on high alert , flaming incomers , mumble mumble . There is also the fact to be accounted for of said person renewing his hgv at his age , bad as that kev person up north , rebels the pair of them , need to learn to grow old ( dis)gracefully like what we have .
[/quote]Well for a start I may not even be allowed back in ‘down south’ as, after 41+ years here, they possibly wont want me back?
Oh, and I’m not old either, thank’s very much.
Pete.
Well now you miserable bunch, like ROF I’ve just renewed my HGV licence!! Also renewing my digi card tomorrow
kevmac47:
Well now you miserable bunch, like ROF I’ve just renewed my HGV licence!! Also renewing my digi card tomorrow
Well done Kev, you know it makes sense lad! Surprised at ROF doing it though, but once a trucker always a trucker I guess? 
Pete.
jsutherland:
mushroomman:
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
I have sent you ALL a Christmas card, could you please send it back in a couple of weeks time. Thank you.I guess Mushroom wants to recycle them for next year. He’s becoming a modern man and helping to save the planet! Should be commended!
JohnnySent from my Hol-U19 using Tapatalk
Orrr thanks Johnny for those kind words. 
All the effort that I put in to sending that card, like scanning it to the computer and putting it on here fourteen posts back makes it all worth while now and bugga the cost of all that electricity.
Johnny,
Iche Wunchen Zee Haben Eine Mary Gut Gluewinenackta und Ein Gluckly Neus Jahre.
windrush:
rigsby:
I reluctantly concur with your vote of no confidence regarding the so called member from matlock ROF . I would go so far as to say that when he tries to return from his few days down south the border should be closed and the guards put on high alert , flaming incomers , mumble mumble . There is also the fact to be accounted for of said person renewing his hgv at his age , bad as that kev person up north , rebels the pair of them , need to learn to grow old ( dis)gracefully like what we have .
[/quote]Well for a start I may not even be allowed back in ‘down south’ as, after 41+ years here, they possibly wont want me back?
Oh, and I’m not old either, thank’s very much.
Pete.
Pete, can you clarify for all of us the word VERY DISTANT.
mushroomman:
jsutherland:
mushroomman:
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
I have sent you ALL a Christmas card, could you please send it back in a couple of weeks time. Thank you.I guess Mushroom wants to recycle them for next year. He’s becoming a modern man and helping to save the planet! Should be commended!
JohnnySent from my Hol-U19 using Tapatalk
Orrr thanks Johnny for those kind words.
All the effort that I put in to sending that card, like scanning it to the computer and putting it on here fourteen posts back makes it all worth while now and bugga the cost of all that electricity.Johnny,
Iche Wunchen Zee Haben Eine Mary Gut Gluewinenackta und Ein Gluckly Neus Jahre.
Vielen Dank Mushroomman. Ich wünsche ihnen auch ein frohes Weihnachten und einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr.
Hopefully all your efforts and expense will soon be appreciated by others also.
Johnny
Sent from my Hol-U19 using Tapatalk
mushroomman:
Pete, can you clarify for all of us the word VERY DISTANT.
Further back than Adam, is that distant enough for you? It certainly is for me! 
Pete.
rigsby:
windrush:
Retired Old ■■■■:
It is my painful duty to call for a vote of “No confidence” in Mr Windrush. I am surprised, nay disappointed, that a founder member of this club should conduct himself in such a manner. Next thing we know he’ll be trundling around Matlock dressed in red with a false beard, singing carols and handing out mince pies. Will somebody please stop him before he damages the reputation of this club forever?Finished writing and delivering all the cards today ROF, off ‘down south’ tomorrow for a few days and then on our return it will be almost time to sort our christmas dinner out and make a few mince pies. Decorations and cards will be put up later today and that’s it then, job done and time to relax.
Pete.
I reluctantly concur with your vote of no confidence regarding the so called member from matlock ROF . I would go so far as to say that when he tries to return from his few days down south the border should be closed and the guards put on high alert , flaming incomers , mumble mumble . There is also the fact to be accounted for of said person renewing his hgv at his age , bad as that kev person up north , rebels the pair of them , need to learn to grow old ( dis)gracefully like what we have .
Well, the way Mr Windrush is performing I fear the call for him to be censored IS justified. However, up to the last few days he’s always come across as a decent fella so we must be generous and show a bit of leniency in this season of goodwill. Yes, I did threaten him with our wimmin, it was a wild and reckless remark by me because some of t’wimmin oop 'ere are not to be messed with, (BIG wimmin 
) it didn’t seem to slow him down, I suspect he’s been guzzling VP Sherry that he’s liberated from a shed somewhere.
So, to Mr Windrush, enjoy your few days matey, come back refreshed, give up the sherry, AND FOR GODS SAKE MAN TRY TO BE A BIT MORE GRUMPY.
Well GOM, we made it down south safely as the barriers were open! A flat tyre at Burton (a new tyre, only fitted this week!) plus lane closure on the M42 due to somebody demolishing the central barrier, failed to halt us! Traffic travelling north on the M40/42 was heavy though, a couple of Punchy Dan’s relatives trucks will be late home tonight. To be honest I’m rarely grumpy, nowt to be miserable about at present anyway as it will soon be CHRISTMAS yeah!!!
Pete.
windrush:
Well GOM, we made it down south safely as the barriers were open! A flat tyre at Burton (a new tyre, only fitted this week!) plus lane closure on the M42 due to somebody demolishing the central barrier, failed to halt us! Traffic travelling north on the M40/42 was heavy though, a couple of Punchy Dan’s relatives trucks will be late home tonight.Pete.
Stuff them ,iam alright Jack
windrush:
Well GOM, we made it down south safely as the barriers were open! A flat tyre at Burton (a new tyre, only fitted this week!) plus lane closure on the M42 due to somebody demolishing the central barrier, failed to halt us! Traffic travelling north on the M40/42 was heavy though, a couple of Punchy Dan’s relatives trucks will be late home tonight.Pete.
Oh my god, what has he said now?
Listen Pete, you’re an old lorry driver, IT IS YOUR DUTY TO BE PERMANENTLY GRUMPY, try it, you’ll like it, people will call you harsh names just as they used to when you were driving lorries. Mrs GOM says I’m a miserable old git (old ? I’m only 77) and then she compounds it by saying I’m a fat b astard. I’m not, I know who my father was.
Got to say though, top marks for bravery, venturing on to the motorway in the lead up to Christmas and on suspect tyres as well. I was out in the car yesterday and it could be best described as…scary, there are a lot of very poor drivers out there