happysack:
animal:
Evil8Beezle:
happysack:
Biggest Bellend? Evil and pimp daddyAny advice on where I can pickup the latest edition of carrot picker’s chronicle mate?
Might have to do with a copy of Viz ( it you can understand it you southern softie [emoji38] [emoji38] )
Doubt he’ll understand it to be honest
It’s a little lowbrow for me ya fake jock! 
Oh christ an intellectual rigid driver
happysack:
Oh christ an intellectual rigid driver
Where you been pal? 
Oh I forget, you’re a bit slow up there… 
Sorry I never knew you were “intelligent”. Just think one day if you use your brain, you’ll suss how to drive a bendy wagon[emoji6]
happysack:
Sorry I never knew you were “intelligent”. Just think one day if you use your brain, you’ll suss how to drive a bendy wagon[emoji6]
Had it removed to pass my class 1, been a bender for a month now mate…
But if a pair of fat slags covering in lard is more your type, I won’t be offended! 
Evil8Beezle:
happysack:
Sorry I never knew you were “intelligent”. Just think one day if you use your brain, you’ll suss how to drive a bendy wagon[emoji6]Had it removed to pass my class 1, been a bender for a month now mate…
But if a pair of fat slags covering in lard is more your type, I won’t be offended!
Just as well then… mmmm lard
happysack:
Evil8Beezle:
happysack:
Sorry I never knew you were “intelligent”. Just think one day if you use your brain, you’ll suss how to drive a bendy wagon[emoji6]Had it removed to pass my class 1, been a bender for a month now mate…
But if a pair of fat slags covering in lard is more your type, I won’t be offended!Just as well then… mmmm lard
MMMMM Deep fried pie on ones face lol 
Pimpdddy …a total nib end whos got nowt better to do sat in his security hut all night trying to talk to lorry drivers ,a complete prick 
seth 70:
Pimpdddy …a total nib end whos got nowt better to do sat in his security hut all night trying to talk to lorry drivers ,a complete prick
Well that’s a bit of a bolt out of the blue Seth, I didn’t see that coming!
Contraflow:
Best Thread.
I nominate Dozys where he took out half a building trying to turn and placed the blame squarely on the stationary dotcom van
Contraflow:
Best Post.
Dozys a few days ago when he said “every single accident ive been involved in wasnt my fault”. See above!
Contraflow:
Best Poster.
Dipper_Dave. Hands down. Almost every post is guaranteed to get a chuckle
Contraflow:
Most Hated Member.
Well,There can only be one nominee from me for this category! Boredwivdrivin. Every post feels like someone running their nails down a chalkboard!
seth 70:
Pimpdddy …a total nib end whos got nowt better to do sat in his security hut all night trying to talk to lorry drivers ,a complete prick
Welcome back Seth.
Evil8Beezle:
For Tacho reg knowledge it’s a close call between ROG and Tachograph, and while ROG is always 100 factually correct,
Ouch, what a slap in the face for Tachograph. Wasn’t ROG on pre mod for giving bs advice?
I know who I listen to.
happysack:
Top photographer award without doubt goes to jakdaw.
Lol. True car crash photography, you know its going to be awful, but you can’t stop looking.
Best thread. Steven Little, easy .
Most hated.
Hated is bit strong but Evilbeezle’s spaniel like enthusiasm would be embarrassing for a wet behind the ears teenager, so when he announced he was middle aged I wanted to spew.Now he’s started giving advice to newbs.
Special mention for Liberty Gay, a self confessed hi-viz wearing, bluetooth earpieced agency
limper who has turned at least 2 full time jobs to ■■■■. Luckily for him, driving only supplements his “other” work.
“Which” “reminds” “me” ““Wincey””
Cheers for the nominations guys we are flattered.
To many to mention for my best poster as your all special in your own way but contraflow and dozy are faves, snowman for kicking off at the slightest tickle.
All the pro cyclist lot, Raymondo for services to sailors and shipwrecked immigrants.
Juddian for his sagelike advice, Rog and Tachograph for helpful posts. All the mods for letting me get away with stuff.
All the ladies for being ladies.
So many more but me fingers getting tired in a smell this have you met the wife stylee.
Best newcomers have to be evilbeezle and eagerbeaver.
Best thread, well anyone that goes in the opposite direction the OP intended but trucker jays dashcam YouTube shenanigans are right up there.
I have no most hated as I love you all, well probably would given half a chance.
Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
A few more whilst waiting for the wife to baste me turkey.
Special recognition award for years of waffling goes to the legend that is carryfast.
Best individual moment of lite trolling. Has to be the boredwivdrivin vs snowman bromance.
Special achievement award for Maoster for funny stuff in general.
Last but by no means least.
Award for most toys thrown from pram in a single thread. Has to be Connor and the agency crew who know we all love really.
Thanks dave I had just forgotten trucker Jay. Horrid memories flooding back.
Contraflow:
This year’s categories:Best Thread.
Best Post.
Best Poster.
Most Hated Member.
Best Thread: Trucker Jay, and the accompanying Youtube flounce/return in Conor-esque style.
Best Post: The one where dozy claimed none of his accidents to date, did he bear any fail for. Classic Doze
Best Poster: Hard, toss up between, Dipper Dave for his morally grey Sexuendo. Or Tango Boy for his repeated efforts to master the art of driving whilst actually looking at every truck he passes and comparing them to “pictures of your truck thread”
Most hated member: V4WALLY or whatever he is calling himself this holiday period. Specal mentions to boredwivdrivin, and chester, two people who just go looking wind people up the wrong way, and have a misconceived feeling of aloofness over us all.
First of all I’d like to thank my fellow contestants and particularly those who nominated me for this important award, it moves me in a special way to receive recognition for all the hard work that both me and my team of writers have put in over the year, I love you all
My award for best newcomers does not go to one particular finalist but has to be split between two warring factions; step forward both Evil8Beezle and Eagerbeaver. Fresh blood like you guys are what keeps this forum “fresh” and interesting. Keep up the good work chaps.
I work on the basis of “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” so I’ll not waste any time talking about those whose only contribution is negativity, you know who you are!
Award for pushing boundaries can only go to one person, step forward Dipper Dave! Again, keep up the good work fella.
Award for sharp and acid tongue was closely fought between Contraflow and Happysack with Contraflow slightly edging it. However Happysack probably only needs some more time alone in the woods to fully develop his “cabin fever” and he may become top gun.
Special mention must go to Albion, a man I so wanted to hate and to whom I used to take every opportunity to play Devils advocate with, but the truth is that he is capable of showing great humour and dammit he does talk a great deal of sense!
Award for best thread must (as mentioned already) go to anyone who starts a thread and it doesn’t go the way they planned. It usually involves their own dashcam footage and them simply not seeing that they drive like a man sized ■■■■■!
All in all I tend to ask the question “would I go for a beer with this poster?” Invariably I would (maybe I just like beer). I’d like to go for a beer with Robroy (as I think he’s quite similar in outlook to me) I’d also love to take Snowman for a pint safe in the knowledge that he’d be good craic but also if I got bored I could just say “he’s looking at you funny mate” and watch it all kick off!
Finally, no awards ceremony could be complete without mentioning one of my personal favourites Dozy! Either the worlds most hapless truck driver OR the worlds best troll.
Happy New Year guys 'n gals. Xxxxxxxx
I think the jury is still out on whether Dozy is the worlds most hapless truck driver or a troll
Well Maoster’s just about covered all basis, i have no disagreements with any of those so its a +1 here.
The Norfolk/Fens ‘wise been there done it’ crew needs mention too, especially Eddie Snax and Muckles, i sort of visualise them and the others from there like a couple of soothsayers sat on their tractors parked beside each other in a field chewing the cud with every sentence punctuated by ooh and arr, they usually put their finger on summat every time but in that unshakeable calm way that country lads have about 'em, a bloody atom bomb could go off in the next field and neither of 'em would bat an eyelid, sort of competent lads that would be handy on your side in a tight spot.
Dear dear Dozy, tries so hard to paint a picture of a hapless downtrodden sap, it isn’t working Dozy mate you’re sussed, but please carry on cos by heck your fishing expeditions don’t half reel 'em in, you must go through a lot of incontinence pads cos you must be peein yersen regularly…
Its good to see the younger or not so young newer drivers doing their bit and getting involved in the discussions, we can all learn new tricks or new ways of doing things that we hadn’t thought of, some good newer drivers coming through with what appears to be the right attitude.
Must mention the ladies, more lady members please, good to see your posts and a special thanks from old sods like me cos you never get the hump when we (i) talk in sexist phrases, we tend to talk of other drivers and the job in male lad type terms, that’s never meant as a slight and apologies offered for the many many offences, its just how we waffle and boy (told ya!) can we waffle.
Merry Christmas everyone.
PS.Please Santa, i’ve been a good boy this year, i’ve washed behind my ears and been kind to kittens nuns and old ladies, (children i aint too fussed about horrid things), so can i have a proper (manual) gearbox for Christmas, thankyou.
What about the phantom mark video ?