that resembled a pavement pizza
or a party throw up
which causes pedestrians to slip
and slide like Torvill and
Dean blindfolded , on seized-up rollerblades
like a pair of punk
rockers on skate boards with
mohican haircuts and safety pins
in their nappys to keep
their arse warm in the
cold , skating down Shap Fell
and flying through Shap village
and busted on speed cameras
and sent on a speed
awareness course to Innesbruck Ski-Jump
with dumb Eddie the Eagle
( more like Eddie the Penguin )
and Biffo the polar bear
he flew like an Elephant
called Dumbo who had the