during the “This Morning” programme
where she played a tune
banging on her ol` piano 
with her lips wrapped around
a bacon and egg sandwich
hiya,
not meat and two veg
thanks harry, long retired.
or some seasonal Christmas stuffing
hiya,
nowt like a good stuffing
thanks harry, long retired.
to increase the (female) waistband
hiya,
there are other nicer ways
thanks harry, long retired.
…so “Harry” will now explain… …
hiya,
if you want me sacked
thanks harry, long retired.
-in the sack with Holly ■■? -
hiya,
much rather her than Feltz’y
thanks harry, long retired.
- need a bl**dy big sack
-
hiya,
aye’ and a thick blindfold
thanks harry, long retired.
and your ribs re-aligned afterwards
hiya,
she wouldn’t get that near
thanks harry, long retired.
you`d be powerless to stop
hiya,
no problem I’ve good brakes
thanks harry, long retired.