call Kendal mountain rescue team
using Mint Cake as medicine
and the roping and sheeting
to make a snowstorm-proof shelter
but lacked the poles to
do the long distance driving
also the strength and mallet
through the deep frozen ice
poor old lad,not nice
when bursting for a pee
which would melt some ice
but freeze-off his windswept b*lls
unless a little female sherpa
had a handy de-icer spray 
or very spicy hot breath
from the (local 
) Indian takeaway
which is just a couple
of inches on the map 
depending on the scale of
length of an Irish Mile