Testing Stations.Anybody got any tales to tell? I was not liked at Garrets Green in Brum.Richard Read sent me on a lot of coures at High Ercall many years ago so I picked up a lot of the rules that could be got around.Broken mirror fail.No remove all but one peice and they can not fail you.ie;no distorted vision.I insised on speaking to the manager at Garrets green after a retest of my Constructor which had failed the day before on emissions.I did not touch the engine but carried on working.The retest was done in a different lane and passed.I got the new MOT and spoke to the manager in front of a few blokes waiting at the counter.I asked him when his machines were last calibrated.I the informed him that I had turned down a job there as I was too honest.I left with a few hand claps from the men waiting. 
Emissions: Throw the air filter away.
Volvo brakes: Adjust them up in the road outside the test station.
Hello ROF
You stand a chance of Dennis repeating his classic “horse story”. It’s a blinder.
Anybody remember sticking a Tanner under the throttle stop on a 680 Ergo to stop it stinking the place out? Norwich fell for it every time, and VERY NAUGHTY - used to shim the king pin on artic trailers to stop forward/backward movement. Wash weld the cracks on Crane trailers the morning of the test and dab paint over it to get it through and dive underneath to adjust the brakes just short of the station. Soon as we got back the re-cuts went back on. We had a Trans Conny on demo that was leaking oil into the brake drum. Washed it out with petrol, blasted the shoes with a styrene fire extinguisher and sent it home. Makes me shudder now. Jim
A lot has been said on another thread of the cab rot on the Guy Invincible Cabs. We ran three Guy Otter 10 ton GVW rigids with Luton Van bodies, and the cab was a cut down version of the Invincible cab with the same rotting problems.
During the first year of testing I had booked a vehicle in every Monday Morning at 9-00AM and I went with one of our fitters through to Darlington Test station to see what happened. One Monday one of our Guys was for test, and remarkably it passed had it not been for one problem. The lights were fine dipped but when asked to put onto full beam the twin lights went on OK but instead of going up they went further dipped and they were going to fail it.
I knew the problem was due to the rotting the bottom of the cab had dropped a little out of shape and our lot had modified the lights so at least the driver had vision on dipped beam. To put it right needed major engineering to replace or strengthen the cab frame, so I objected.
They asked me into the office and at the time John Moore was the Test Station Manager. I explained that the lights were OK on dipped and focusing correctly, and said there was no law that stated they had to go higher in full beam. There was a long consultation where they checked all the legislation and agreed that this was the case and passed the van. How no one had seen the state of the cab frame I would never know.
Another thing we discovered with the Bedfords that if we loaded with a light load when they tried to get a reading on the brakes they locked up and had no alternative but pass them. It suited the test station that we loaded these pantechnicons as with tail boards it was difficult to put on their weight machines, so they couldn’t object. This made life so much simpler that when we had not a suitable load available we simply used to load with empty tea chests which weighed very little, as in those days we used tea chests for packing china on removals and always had several hundreds.
Southampton (Botley) was notoriously “awkward” when it came to testing. However if you stood your ground they were a little more “compliant”.
Salisbury were very “accommodating”.
Worthing were very “customer” orientated and you could do business with them, “god bless 'em”. Nothing illegal but very understanding!
They are after all ONLY doing their job as they see fit! Just like you are!
I did my apprenticeship as a diesel fitter at West ■■■■■■■■■■ Farmers at Charles field near St Boswells in the Scottish borders in the 70’s. We were in a shed that was on old MOD ground and the testing station was at the entrance of the complex. The guy in charge was George Taylor, and he was a right P…K. As was usual ,and still is it took a certain type of person to do that kind of job, usually one that didn’t have to many friends or go out drinking in the local area either.
I went to Tec with his son who was doing his apprenticeship at the same time as me and he was a Punk Rocker with all the the gear including a safety pin through his nose, and would often turn up after lunch ■■■■■■■
My dad ran trucks for years before I started my apprenticeship so I knew much about Mr Taylor and even knew of some other haulage people that genuinely wanted to kill him, for his petty ways.
There wasn’t any one above Mr Taylor so there was no court of appeal, and there was only one gimp under him as well, so he was really the bee all and end all of all things testing in our area. The only other option was to take the vehicle to Livingstone and doing so would raise suspicion unless you had a very good excuse.
MrTaylor senior had a thing about marker light, side reflectors, and rear vehicle marker boards, and as a apprentice I would spend many hours of the day with a 3/16 drill and pop riveter re locating lights and reflectors for unwary people that happened to cross paths with Mr Taylor and his tape measure. It would quite often transpire that a vehicle would be 3 or 4 years old before he picked up on the misplacement of lights and reflectors, and by misplacement I mean as little as 1/2 an inch in any direction. And every one got the response that some day we would thank him for picking up on the mistake.
Right here, right now, I would like to say that it’s been the best part of 40 years and I still think you are a complete A… HOLE
One day one of our 38 foot trailers which we rarely used got sent back to get the rear marker board relocated, the trailer was the best part of 12 years and the old board had been in the same place since it was new. I dropped a couple of rivets under the trailer when I was doing the job and went under to retrieve them, when I was coming out I noticed there was a crack in the chassis running from the spring mount. I pointed it out the head fitter and he told me Taylor hadn’t noticed it so he took the trailer back to the test station where the rear marker was measured and the trailer passed. When the trailer got back we drilled the ends out the welded the crack our self.
A farmer came in the get his 6 wheeler flat tested so we did the work, mainly pins and bushes and a bit of wiring, then took it for test. It failed because the body was 3/4 inch to wide. I should point out the truck was 6 years old and had been through that test station 5 times before.
It would be quite easy to do a couple of thousand words here but I’m sure you get the idea.
I would also like to add that here in Australia it’s the same kind of person that works in the test centers as does in the the UK and USA.
Jeff…
We had a bloke like him in Gloucester many years ago.Brian Jones.He used to go to haulage companys in his VW beetle with a crawler board in the boot.He came to Soudley Valley to inspect a coach that Roy Bevan had steam cleaned.He decided it was not clean enough as he found some dirt by a spring hanger!!! The air was blue and Jones left with a smirk on his face 
I once tagged along on test day with a friend who drove a Scania 112 (old Y plate) I was only about 7 yrs old so I never did question why he drove around for 30 minutes before taking it in, including 10 time around a roundabout! Must’ve been getting her warmed up for the emmisions or summat.
I took one of Richard Reads ERF,s to Gloucester for test.It was going to fail on a mark on the windscreen.I asked the tester if he had a brush,shovel and wheelbarrow that i could borrow.Why he asked? because I am going to push the windscreen out and I wont be able to catch it.Result 
Many many moons ago whilst working as a fitter at Brs Oxford depot , we had a old school fitter who was very friendly with testerat Newbury , if he did the pre mot and took it it was a 100% pass, well one day the old day cabbed Bhs Merc had a broken spring but they didn’t want to miss the booking so they asked Ted to take it any how , he did and a few ■■■■ mags later it passed 
, but when he got back they wanted it to do a local run ,and Ted said no and took the keys home with him , two weeks later they manage to get a spring for it , it was a light weigh day cabbed Merc 1217 I think.
How about the Driving Test Examiners.
There was 2 at Heywood, a tall thin one and a short fat one, one of them was called Harry (I think), but I can’t remember which one. Both of them had been punched a time or two for failing drivers who had been driving for 20/30/40 years. Drivers who had never had any accidents or convictions for driving offences, but for whatever reason couldn’t claim a licence under Grandfather Rights. Driving schools started to book their tests at Bredbury and even Simonswood. So the Ministry started swapping these two Examiners about between Heywood and Bredbury so you wouldn’t know who the Examiner was going to be when going for your test.
Ray
At newbury test station is was always handy to have tin of chassis black paint in the cab , the testers were always asking for some to paint under there cars etc .
Gillingham was MISTER Daniels’ province, he expected and commanded respect, brave was the man who dared question anything, after all you had to come back next week… It was also not uncommon to expect a bollocking from him if the vehicle failed.
Our depot in Milnthorpe was adjacent to the MOT test station and it was always the case that the tidier and more immaculate the motors of some operators were the harder the examiners looked for a defect,however minor ! I used to see certain operators come and go every day,with the same vehicle,from Monday to Friday,then finally be given a “ticket” more-or-less to get rid.I also know of one operator who would send his motor/trailer in for test,get a fail,do the repairs as per the fail report then represent the motor for test,get his pass and then off for another year of operation.Of course,this kind of abuse of the system was greatly reduced when the Test centres started to issue GV9’s instead of just a simple “no strings” fail.But I used to argue fiercley that the Ministry applied different levels of standards dependant on the maintainence capabilities of the individual operators,which of course,they venementally denied but which was blatently obvious as I had a grandstand view of what went on.The ministry were quite aware that if they applied a firm level of inspection half or more of the operators would fail every time then they(the Ministry) would be accused of victimisation !! 
Bewick.
I’ve taken vehicles into Heywood and Bredbury when I used to work for Soto at Redbank Diesels, never had a problem, guess my boyish looks and good attitude helped
flishflunk:
How about the Driving Test Examiners.
There was 2 at Heywood, a tall thin one and a short fat one, one of them was called Harry (I think), but I can’t remember which one. Both of them had been punched a time or two for failing drivers who had been driving for 20/30/40 years. Drivers who had never had any accidents or convictions for driving offences, but for whatever reason couldn’t claim a licence under Grandfather Rights. Driving schools started to book their tests at Bredbury and even Simonswood. So the Ministry started swapping these two Examiners about between Heywood and Bredbury so you wouldn’t know who the Examiner was going to be when going for your test.Ray
Was it Harry starr ? Whatever the name i ended up with him twice, My instructor had a rolling eybrow moment when we realised I had him as a tester both times round - failed/aborted the 1st test when the Ford D series would not start, Gave me two minutes to get it started, then walked off muttering about poor standards and how I should have presented a better truck for my driving test … this on a driving school truck that I’d driven for the first time that day.
To be fair to the Guy, I passed the second time, after whizzing round the pad tasks I was only out on the road for 15 minutes, he said he’d seen enough, told me i’d passed, lets go back to the station for a brew !
Our local test stations: Poole OK, Salisbury Good, Botley I don’t think so!, only ever went to Newbury a couple of times whilst going north to have minor GV9s cleared, handy because then you were already over an hour up the road.
Another memory flash back from Garrets Green.I took my Bison for MOT and it passed until I got to the brake rollers.Ist and second axle passed but then the type 20 on the N/S front gave up.Tester came to the cab and started talking about GV9,s suspended tow etc.I said lets finish the brake test.Clamped the pipe on the front axle,built the air up and the third axle passed.Tester is still talking GV9.I said that I would not accept it.Head tester is called who is also threatening dreaded GV9.What do you intend to do driver he asked.Easy I say park up here and change the type 20.You will have to pay for a retest.No problem I say if it fails after 80 yards someone did not do their job.In 28 years of operating we never had a GV9. 
I had to take an Ergo cabbed AEC Mammouth Major Twin compartment tar tanker for a test. We used to load water for the test and I half filled the larger rear tank but the front tank overflowed before I could check it. The remnants of tar from a load would settle into the outlet valve and seize it shut which was OK if another hot load was carried but to get cold water out the valve had to be heated from outside with live steam . This took time which I never had so off I went to the test station in Bristol . When the tester put the jack under the front axle to lift both front axles off the ground it would not even lift the first axle. Enter the chief with the white coat who asked me what weight it had on and I said I didn,t know to which he told me to take it on the weighbridge out the back.
I thought this is going to be a classic, done for overweight in a test station. Suprise it was OK on axle weight so the chief told the tester we better get that jack tested.
On the early Park Royal cabbed Mammouth Majors the brakes with shoes anchored on pins were Ok but the later ones with the girling brakes were not so good. To get these through the test we used to remove the drums and rough up the linnings with a rasp and grind powdered rosin into them. Drive to the test station using the brakes as little as possible and they used to squeal like a stuck pig on the rollers but it did the job. I did see people in the queue trying to puff rosin onto the shoes through the inspection hole in the back plate but I cant see this had much effect.
Also had trouble with the position of the rear lights when a metal frame was wheeled against the rear . When I said thats where the lights were last year he said we did not have this frame last year.
The manager at the time of my jack episode was an old chap but he was followed by a younger Welshman. He was only a small chap and he was still there when I stopped using the place but I often wondered if anyone belted him hard enough to knock him back there. Anyone else remember him.
Happy days Phil.
I was a fitter at wynnstay group for around 20 years and was pretty regular in Shrewsbury and Wrexham test stations in that time . Never had many problems with either in that time, in fact many the time the testers pointed something out and a quiet sort it out when you get back was all it took! .However in Shrewsbury there was one guy who wasn’t there that long who was a pain in the ■■■■ I remember taking an h reg fl7 that was then the spare and did look bit tired. After we had done the brake test and he hadn’t mentioned any problems he gave me the clipboard and it had a failed clip on it for an insecure light, on asking him he pointed out that one of the screws was missing from one of the front side/indicator lamps. I gave him a bit of a look and drove around to the office spoke to the manager who muttered ■■■■■■■■ and gave me the certificate .i think he was even more awkward after that lol