Commercial Motor have an initiative going called Trucking Britain Out Of Reccesion (TBOOR). They
can analyse data like Turnover/Volumes/Fleet utilisation etc… and chart the nation coming out
of a recession. I don’t hold with all that number crunching bunkum. If you think about it we
need to do badly to be a busy vibrant Industry. If volumes are high and fleet utilisation is
high then that means less trips, less staff and less lorries and more profit for the gaffer!!!
We need British manufacturers to be mad busy, pay daft rates on the basis the load needs to get
there no matter what and we all need to use/consume more .What do i know i’m just a lorry
driver, but number crunchers have just almost bankrupt the economy !!
Anyway it did set me thinking about KPI’s(Key Performance Indicators), my own way of checking
my KPI is to look at the envelope i get every Friday, any less than 4 ton paid in and i’m not
doing so good. Anything over 4 ton and i’m doing well. My current buisness model is going well
and at this rate i’ll be able to afford a week in a caravan in Skegness next summer 
The need for efficiency has not escaped my own company. We are now given start times, as
opposed to you have a 8am [insert name of town] delivery and you start when you like as long as
you get there on time. So i’m off to Newcastle, and as planned i get there in 4 hours and 28
minues driving.I’m in work on time, i’ve arrived on time, only thing is i’m not going to move
now as by the time i book in, then spin round in the yard and onto the bay, wait for the guy to
come and remove the bolt seal i’ll be over. Maybe only a minute or two but still i’ll be
over.
The security guard did come up to me and say “hey drive you can come right in”. No thanks bro!! I’ll be in in 50 minutes 
Personally i’m not worried about a minute or two and i’m sure VOSA wouldn’t crucify me for
it, but we have a very exact tachograph anyalst and there’s no way i’m signing the naughty boys
book and getting a lecture off a spotty 20 year old of how i need to take a break at 4 and half
hours driving and i need to keep my eye on it in future !! So i sit and wait for 50 minutes and
then go in and take an hour to have the container tipped whilst i’m on break. Regs, eh?!!
We get some time wasted on this container job. I just love these ‘open top’ jobs. If you don’t know what an ‘open top’ is its a container with a soft removable top. Half an hour to remove the cord and the top, half an hour to replace it, theres an hour, then they have to remove the usually nailed down chocks etc before lifting out the load.
I sit here and watch one of ours getting unloaded before its my turn, after three hours they’re ready for me and the guy knocks on my door.“ok mate , we’re ready for you”. I get off the bunk, look at my watch and say…“sorry mate i’m on my dinner now”, the look on the guys face was priceless I was of course joking, but its good for someone else to get that “unbeliavable” feeling too!
A bit of inside info and know how can save time and aid efficiency too. On Tuesday thsi week i was off to Middlesboro to deliver, one of the guys in our place asks me if i’ve been there before. I havn’t…right what you do is follow your sat nav and you’ll see the place on your left, drive past it take a left, then another left and you’ll be round the back of the building, you’ll see the entrance on the left, pull up right and reverse back into it. As i’m sitting in my truck in the yard about to go, another driver asks me where i’m going, i tell him and he repeats the same story. I get there and i reverse in to where the unit is you can see in the door way.
I go in and see the warehouse guy.“what are you doing there, go round the front and come in like every one else”… 
I don’t think i’ll start to explain why i went round the back first and i can imagine he’s thinking “how can they be so thick, there’s an entrance and they drive past it and round to the exit, how dumb are some lorry drivers !!”
After that jobs done i’m on my way to Sunderland for a collection. Collection is not until 7.30am Wednesday morning but i’m to go now and see if i can collect it. Its a no go.Park round the back drive and we’ll see you in the morning.
Home for the night
And what a view the Queen Alexandra Bridge.
Well, i don’t like it. Day two in the big brother house…
Wait there all day until 2pm and i get the fone call. Jobs cancelled Mick, re booked for tommorow midday. Great stuff !! Get yourself away and go back tommorow. Ok, and off i go across the bridge, nearer to the City centre for somewhere to park. Into an Industrial area about half mile or less from the centre. Whilst i was there i did come across the…“here ya are mate i’ve only got one pallet”, you can sense the guys urgency, he needs to get home for his tea.
Found by pure chance an award winning camera pub to park up by
Whilst i was there i was approached by an American guy in a Dutch truck who asked me where ‘Liebherr’ was, go back up and look at the right hand side of the foto.I was happy to oblige !!
After a day in the town and a sample of the local Camera ales its time for bed, and even though i only run a cooler box, mobile fone and bluetooth head set off my truck i think i’ll give it a whirl to charge it up. No go.
Well there’s nothing that can’t be sorted out by thinking and a good nights kip, so its off to bed, no night heater, reading light or owt else.
I ring up the office first thing in the morning just to let them know. I’m sure i’ll get myself sorted, but just incase i don’t and i get the old "you should of told us sooner "line i tell them straight away . “Hi its Mike here…”, "lots of laughing on the fone…“Hi Mike, are you speaking Geordie yet…”, "why aye man, an a canny get me lorry mooter gan, i ■■■■ i’ve a flat batteree "…
No laughing now , its all stopped. A potential £200 bill from Merc doesn’t seem so funny !! First things first, off back into town to where i had my tea and get a brekky…
Now when MSA’s try to justify their high prices by the old…we pay allsorts of extra costs to the government/restrictions etc…just remember, Wetherspoons have alsorts of licensing to conform to, pay top whack city centre rates and have probably a lower footfall than any MSA.
I know the battery is at the back of the cab, under the trailer…
A browse in the drivers handbook reveals it has actual jump start points, thats a relief to me as i was worrying about blowing CPU’s, engine chips, digitachs and allsorts.
Walking round in my slacks and sandals looking like a Lithuanian jobseeker didn’t bode well for me getting a jump (no pun intended!).
But i went in to Alex Smiles, a tipper,skip hire and bulker company. I couldn’t of met a more helpful, friendly fitter. I asked for a jump, he never looked twice, he said ok no probs get in his wagon. He wouldn’t take any money off me, i offered to pay his brekky or anything and shove somne money in his top pocket but he wouldn’t have any of it. Its a refreshing change to find a hands on can do attitude today instead of a jobsworth"i can’t go over my hours by a minute" that is so prevalent today. Hang on, err, forget that last bit. I did eventually get loaded up and leave at 6pm. And although i got back very late (10.30pm) my gaffer had kindly booked me in for an evening collection (amongst other things earlier!) at Ashby de la Zouch, the buiscuit place. Parking overnight there is no problem, there is a Premier Inn just off the round about and you can park there, the bar is open till midnight and there is a maccy dee’s there too. Just be carefull if you go in the bar of the premier inn though, as its full of number crunching buisness women in BMW’s and they’re on the look out for vunerable and lonley truckers who are away from home and who might be at a low ebb and they’ll take advantage of you. Don’t get caught out like i did !!!
Howay the lads and up the toon !! Can’t wait for next week, i’ve added a few more criteria to my KPI’s !!
