Drempels:
ezydriver:
Drempels:
How did the second day go?!
For my part, I heard the “cops came and coned off the bay” one, for the 2457th time yesterday… I must look brand new 
Twas in an RDC waiting room too, just for added authenticity. Any chance CSI Trucknet could pin down the rough time this one started? It’s gotta be at least 7 or 8 years old now.
It’s amazing isn’t it. A few months ago I was in Asda at Doncaster if I recall correctly, having a major delay (6 hours). I got chatting to a bloke from a nearby depot and he was funny, and seemed alright, we were belly-laughing at stuff over a few cups of coffee. But then he began telling me a story of a time he got stuck on a bay, and you can guess the rest, it had the chalk and two coned off bays either side, and everything, as if there’s a template for these tales somewhere. It killed it for me.
I might start one myself, and begin with running out of time on a bay, threatening to call vosa, then actually calling vosa, but instead of chalking my tyres and coning off a bay, they arrest me for going over 15 hours, and it ends with tea and biscuits with the traffic commissioner lol. But keep a straight face and remain adament that’s what happened.
How strange, same for me! The fella was alright, quite chatty and seemed normal, so instead of doing my “gotta make a phone call” routine, I chilled out and spent the time of day with him. Next thing, bam! He starts with the cone story! 
Was annoyed with myself for letting my guard down, usually I can spot them a mile away
Perhaps they’re learning to adapt, and they know that we know, so they’ve had to evolve a sense of normalness to lure us into a false sense of trust, then BAM they hit you with “the lorry in front of me was the last one onto the Herald of Free Enterprise”.
I had testicular cancer 22 years ago, about a year after passing my class 1. The doctor at the hospital said the only common factor with these cancers was the patients did a lot of sitting down at work.
Heck read the daily mail you get a daily update of that gives cancer. I believe it’s coffee or red wine at the moment.
I heard one guy who “Usta drive a gas tanker. Had to put it over the weighbridge, but that was a waste of time, as it was lighter loaded than empty”.
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Franglais:
I heard one guy who “Usta drive a gas tanker. Had to put it over the weighbridge, but that was a waste of time, as it was lighter loaded than empty”.
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Hahahaha…
Thats right up there with the guy carrying racing pigeons who banged on the side of the trailer at the exact moment the ministry took the weighbridge reading.
Of course all the pigeons took off and the trailer is technically unloaded avoiding a fine.
ezydriver:
Drempels:
ezydriver:
Drempels:
How did the second day go?!
For my part, I heard the “cops came and coned off the bay” one, for the 2457th time yesterday… I must look brand new
Twas in an RDC waiting room too, just for added authenticity. Any chance CSI Trucknet could pin down the rough time this one started? It’s gotta be at least 7 or 8 years old now.
It’s amazing isn’t it. A few months ago I was in Asda at Doncaster if I recall correctly, having a major delay (6 hours). I got chatting to a bloke from a nearby depot and he was funny, and seemed alright, we were belly-laughing at stuff over a few cups of coffee. But then he began telling me a story of a time he got stuck on a bay, and you can guess the rest, it had the chalk and two coned off bays either side, and everything, as if there’s a template for these tales somewhere. It killed it for me.
I might start one myself, and begin with running out of time on a bay, threatening to call vosa, then actually calling vosa, but instead of chalking my tyres and coning off a bay, they arrest me for going over 15 hours, and it ends with tea and biscuits with the traffic commissioner lol. But keep a straight face and remain adament that’s what happened.
How strange, same for me! The fella was alright, quite chatty and seemed normal, so instead of doing my “gotta make a phone call” routine, I chilled out and spent the time of day with him. Next thing, bam! He starts with the cone story!
Was annoyed with myself for letting my guard down, usually I can spot them a mile away
Perhaps they’re learning to adapt, and they know that we know, so they’ve had to evolve a sense of normalness to lure us into a false sense of trust, then BAM they hit you with “the lorry in front of me was the last one onto the Herald of Free Enterprise”.
I fear you’re right. Us normal folk have been lulled into a false sense of security by the loons and they’ve evolved ahead of us!
trevHCS:
Number 2 doesnt make much sense as how many petrol stations do you know where they’ll let you fill up a truck before presenting the card?
Thus you give them the card, then fill up, take card and put it back in the little slot in the dash or on the keyring without usually putting hands in pockets.
Personally i think its the ones who have a scratchy ball break while at the pumps who are at risk! (My appolgies to the ladies on the forum for that image).
If you dont want cancer, you can always get dermititis off the diesel which looks pretty nasty.
I wont show this thread to the missus as she thinks I got a safer job than the asbestos one. We’re all doomed Captain Mannering, all doomed… 
I now work in the forecourt repair industry and we have had it hammered into us that diesel as is most oils and grease are carsenegens and we are not allowed to wear cloth gloves only latex as they hold the diesel in them and soak thru to your hands when u put them on. I’m supplied with barrier creams hand cleaners and wipes. remember the amount of dirty oiks that have a pee up the wheels or tank while filling up with dirty hands so not a lot to do with getting money or cards out
People telling me adblue is pig pee
edd1974:
People telling me adblue is pig pee
AdBlue is Carbamide in a water solution. CO (NH2)2.
The urine of mammals does contain the same chemical, often called by another term: urea.
It is produced commercially in chemical plants by synthesis of ammonia NH3 and carbon dioxide CO2.
No pigstys are necessary!
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i find it particulary distateful when drivers gob off inventing tall tales about missing the herald ect.
it brings back terrible personal memories for me as if i didnt get completely bladdered the night before getting flung out of the baghouse and getting gassed when i made it back to the cab,i wouldnt have slept for 18 hours straight to end up missing it by 5 mins there was just no space left for me and i had to come back off the ramp so they could squeeze a coach on in my place. there but for the grace of god ect.
Drempels:
ezydriver:
Drempels:
ezydriver:
Drempels:
How did the second day go?!
For my part, I heard the “cops came and coned off the bay” one, for the 2457th time yesterday… I must look brand new
Twas in an RDC waiting room too, just for added authenticity. Any chance CSI Trucknet could pin down the rough time this one started? It’s gotta be at least 7 or 8 years old now.
It’s amazing isn’t it. A few months ago I was in Asda at Doncaster if I recall correctly, having a major delay (6 hours). I got chatting to a bloke from a nearby depot and he was funny, and seemed alright, we were belly-laughing at stuff over a few cups of coffee. But then he began telling me a story of a time he got stuck on a bay, and you can guess the rest, it had the chalk and two coned off bays either side, and everything, as if there’s a template for these tales somewhere. It killed it for me.
I might start one myself, and begin with running out of time on a bay, threatening to call vosa, then actually calling vosa, but instead of chalking my tyres and coning off a bay, they arrest me for going over 15 hours, and it ends with tea and biscuits with the traffic commissioner lol. But keep a straight face and remain adament that’s what happened.
How strange, same for me! The fella was alright, quite chatty and seemed normal, so instead of doing my “gotta make a phone call” routine, I chilled out and spent the time of day with him. Next thing, bam! He starts with the cone story!
Was annoyed with myself for letting my guard down, usually I can spot them a mile away
Perhaps they’re learning to adapt, and they know that we know, so they’ve had to evolve a sense of normalness to lure us into a false sense of trust, then BAM they hit you with “the lorry in front of me was the last one onto the Herald of Free Enterprise”.
I fear you’re right. Us normal folk have been lulled into a false sense of security by the loons and they’ve evolved ahead of us!
You only have to listen to the corned beef on the bus sketch [emoji12]
It’s quite a while since I heard the one about not being able to do more than two nights
out per week without a megaspace / high roof / microwave / fridge type cab.
axletramp:
It’s quite a while since I heard the one about not being able to do more than two nights
out per week without a megaspace / high roof / microwave / fridge type cab.
Oh yes! Part of that was a certain distance from the steering wheel to the back of the cab to qualify for the night out type approval…
The gas and pigeon ones are new to me, they’re brilliant!
idrive:
Been on a course today, 8 hours in a classroom, FML
Heard some cracking stories…
-
If you have a baby on board sign in your car window, you should remove it when not carrying children as the police will spend “several hours” searching for a child if you have an accident and they don’t find a child.
-
Truckers have a very high rate of testicular cancer due to the fact that they fill up with diesel without wearing gloves, then they “handle their balls” as they go into their pockets to get money out to pay.
-
Bloke there who had a job as an international talent scout for premier league football team, jetting round the world signing up talent, but didn’t like it so decided to become a truck driver instead.
Roll on tomorrow
I remember a connection to number 2 some years ago.
The theory was that truck drivers wives had a higher than usual chance of cervical cancer due to drivers filling up with diesel, not wearing gloves, then going for a pee.
Diesel from hands to tackle, then from tackle to wife.
I must admit that from the day i read that gloves became essential whilst re-fuelling. (and extra washing of course)
What about the Princess On Board signs?!
That must cause a right royal carry on in an accident 
I could make all manner of jokes in very bad taste, but I won’t.
I did see one earlier saying Cake On Board, the driver of the vehicle stayed steadfastly in lane 2 for the length of the M6 roadworks… Oh how we laughed.