(Superman No1)
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to
audit the
books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to
the
Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do
with
the candle drippings?”
“Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save them up and send them
back to
the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box
of candles”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question
had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
“What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the
crumbs?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was
trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. “We collect them and send
them
back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free
box of matzo balls”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could
fluster the
know-it-all Rabbi. “Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with
all the
leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is
save up
all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once
a year
they send us a complete ■■■■.”
(Superman No2)
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The
doctor
asks him how he’s feeling. The 80-year-old says, “I’ve never felt
better.
I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What
do you
think about that?”
The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. “I
have an
older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and
never misses
a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit
of a hurry
and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.
When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the
stream .
He raised his cane and went ‘bang, bang’.
Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What
do you think of that ?”
The 80-year-old said, “I’d say somebody else pumped a couple of
rounds
into that beaver.”
The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”
