sapper:
Well, I admit it, I was in the wrong today, got held up on the M11 south after all the people wanted to slow down and have a look at the van that was on fire at 07.00 this morning, s/bound before J8, this was around 11.00, then held up on M25 because of the ■■■■ up at J28, looked at the tacho, [zb], 4.12 and I’m between 27 and 28, never make thurrock, so I stopped on the hard shoulder and took a 30, already had a 15 earlier, traffic was crawling and there was two flip flops an a brit there as well.
Just on 28 mins, plod blips his siren and pulls in front of me, asks me why I have stopped, I told him I’d been stuck in the queue’s and ran short of time, was told in no uncertain terms to move it and get off at next junction, he went on to say you are a professional driver, you should manage your time better, don’t be like all the foreigners that sleep along here at nights, I could charge you, it is an endorsable offence, but move along, so I just said, understood officer and started up to move off, my break was up by then anyway, but I saw him pulling other drivers on the hard shoulder as I crawled along, but only the brits.
Sapper
Ok. So it’s really quite simple. Whilst it is illegal to stop on the hard shoulder, even for a legal break, simply pop the hood and step over the barrier and if and when plod/vosa/dvla or whoever pull in front of you, to announce the death penalty, whilst grinning like the cat that’s got the ■■■■, explain to them that you can smell smoke. It does work better if you unscrew the radiator filler cap. But I guarantee once you have told them you have contacted recovery unit, they will drive on.
Before you know it, hey presto 45 minutes have passed by.
Bingo!!
I used to work with a guy that done this regularly he would pop the hood make a brew when break finished close hood back in seat drive off
I’ve seen it before when an accident has caused traffic chaos on the motorway. All the lorries then stop on slip roads and hard shoulder. (I just put it on break whilst stuck and recover the time later!) Plod usually seem to apply common sense in these cases and just come back after an hour or so to catch the ■■■■ takers.
Slightly different scenario,but I once had to stop on the hard shoulder (luckily a very wide section),due to a trailer tyre blowout. Stupid cop pulls up behind the truck,walks right past the blown tyre and asks me why I’m parked there !!..Erm hello !!
Jayen4:
Slightly different scenario,but I once had to stop on the hard shoulder (luckily a very wide section),due to a trailer tyre blowout. Stupid cop pulls up behind the truck,walks right past the blown tyre and asks me why I’m parked there !!..Erm hello !!
This works best if you have been having a lay down when plod calls.
Look out the window all confused, ask where you are, what time it is, what day it is etc.
it didn’t work so well for a guy I worked with years ago…night out in Trafford park,completely bladdered…I went away with some old bow wow into a high flat.he got knocked back when he tried to plough her pal in his cab,flung her out,and decided to head up the road…made it almost as far as what was then anderton services on the 61…got woke up by plod,hadent a clue where he was but wondered why plod was asking him if it wasn’t too noisy for him and might he not be better sleeping somewhere more peacefull…they then informed him he was parked up nicely in the middle lane of the m61 and he got his peaceful sleep in the cells along with a 18 month ban with the expected crucifixion of a fine…oh those good old days…but remember if you are ever being arrested and charged,when asked if you have anything to say…your answer must always be…please don’t hit me again officer…i don’t remember much about the ld bow wow that I ended up in apart from we both had eggs for breakfast…i got mine scrambled,and she got hers unfertilized(I hope).
I knew a driver who was an alcholic, he had a few one night and it was a foggy night so decided to park up in what he thought was off the road .
He had parked in the road and a night in a French police cell .
Captain Caveman 76:
I’ve seen it before when an accident has caused traffic chaos on the motorway. All the lorries then stop on slip roads and hard shoulder. (I just put it on break whilst stuck and recover the time later!) Plod usually seem to apply common sense in these cases and just come back after an hour or so to catch the ■■■■ takers.
Stopping out of the way at the side of the slip road at least shows some application of the brain. Stopping on the hard shoulder on the main carriageway of a gridlocked motorway just slows down any emergency services needing to get past. I’ve seen it before, Mr ‘I want a clean card’ parked on the HS with his hazards on reading the paper & the fire engine can’t get bloody past They should have the book thrown at them.
I’m gonna lay my cards on the table and say now that the only times I’ve ever used the hard shoulder are on smart motorways or when broken down. However to balance this out its very easy for us who never go further east than Dover to be critical of others.
If I could potentially face the equivalent of a weeks wages in fines from a Genderme who wouldn’t accept “well I went over because the M11 was a bit sticky that day” then maybe I too would chance my arm on the fact that cops on patrol are rarer than a Pontefract virgin and maybe go for it too and have my break on the hard shoulder.
nightline:
Big deal over nothing again, you have a clock and a digi card [zb] the copper the judge looks at the time and distance and he throws it out, its common sense, so you keep on going for safe place to park
aye. then you carry on over dartford bridge and down the A2 to Dover. get on the boat to Europe and relieve your wallet of €€€€€€€€€€€s ! I agree with the copper. manage your time better, Sapper you’re lucky he never booked you and yes it is endorsable
Yeh, ■■■■ you slimshow, I go to france and once got fined 1000 euros for not showing a break, for a traffic accident 2 days after it happened, so ■■■■ you again, ■■■■■■■.
Sapper
sapper:
he went on to say you are a professional driver, you should manage your time better, don’t be like all the foreigners that sleep along here at nights, I could charge you, it is an endorsable offence, but move along, so I just said, understood officer and started up to move off, my break was up by then anyway, but I saw him pulling other drivers on the hard shoulder as I crawled along, but only the brits.
Sapper
I call ■■■■■■■■ on this whole section here, esp the last bit about only pulling over the brits.
No, it’s true, I’ve had the exact same thing happen to me. Caught in the aftermath of an accident, I pulled out of the queue to take a 45 on the hard shoulder (because at the time I was running abroad and tacho infringements attract huge fines in France/ Spain, no explanations or printouts accepted) and a motorcycle copper gave me a bollocking and told me to move, having ridden past a dozen of our eastern European colleagues doing exactly the same thing.
sapper:
Yeh, [zb] you slimshow, I go to france and once got fined 1000 euros for not showing a break, for a traffic accident 2 days after it happened, so [zb] you again, [zb]. Sapper
it matters not craphat! you HAVE to manage your time better. digi tachs were supposed to make it so much EASIER! It’s in numbers staring at you FFS! why push, push, push! Birchanger services, leave the motorway and cut across country? Not hard! Think of YOUR LICENCE! Not got your gaffers name on it has it! push push push will get you’re EUROS €€€€€€€€€€€€€€€s relieved. think, it’s not HARD " IMPROVISE, ADAPT AND OVERCOME! "!
Farkin hell slimslow, put it in capitals so I can hear you, have you ever driven abroad and had to try and convince a Gendarme or Guarda that your circumstances in UK, made you infringe, because UK plod wouldn’t let you stop on the hard shoulder to keep a clean card, then to be relieved of 1000 euros by our european cousins,
Up yours mate
Sapper
sapper:
Farkin hell slimslow, put it in capitals so I can hear you, have you ever driven abroad and had to try and convince a Gendarme or Guarda that your circumstances in UK, made you infringe, because UK plod wouldn’t let you stop on the hard shoulder to keep a clean card, then to be relieved of 1000 euros by our european cousins,
Up yours mate Sapper
stopped going full time 2003 from 1993/4 iirc. wouldn’t want to explain myself to the foreign police/ law enforcement hence I’d pull up long BEFORE 4:00 hrs driving. Went to Madrid last time as a one off trip 2007 weekended on the lash not missed it one iota. Never been relieved of a franc/ Deutsch mark or potatoe , so no before euros, borders and idiots driving abroad I’ve no interest whatsoever. There are screwdrivers and thick screwdrivers. Ignorance is NOT an excuse. rocket science this is NOT? CAN YOU HEAR ME SAPPER? Craphat!
get on the boat to Europe and relieve your wallet of €€€€€€€€€€€s ! 
I agree with the copper. 
manage your time better, Sapper you’re lucky he never booked you and yes it is endorsable 
why push, push, push! Birchanger services, leave the motorway and cut across country? Not hard! Think of YOUR LICENCE! Not got your gaffers name on it has it!