If your Manager asks you to go to Dublin & drive through a picket line involving your own work colleagues, i.e. Men that work for the same company as you & only earn €25 per week more than Social Welfare.
Would You:-
a) GO WILLINGLY.
b) HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.
c) SAY CERTAINLY NOT.
If the answer is c) then you have a chance of becoming a respected driver going about your work in a professional & dignified manner for a low key logistics company … Not jumping in front of a camera like some delusional Knob!
Asking for Womens underwear through the post.
However if your answer is either a) or b) We will look forward to welcoming you to the comany!
These tests are usually piece of ■■■■, the only hard aptitude test I recall ever doing was ridiculous, questions like “If john gives katy 10 sweets, what is the mass of the sun in nanograms”
The answer is 42
The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
If it takes a man-and-a-half an hour-and-a-half to dig a hole-and-a-half paid at time-and-a-half,
How many apples are there in a barrel of grapes?
Do YOU have grapes?
If not, why not. Please enter your answer in the space below.
If you can’t get anything in the space, you’re not cut out to drive around the ■■■■■■■■ countryside, knowing which width restriction signs need to be ingored.
For the tie-break questions,
Why didn’t stobarts open any RDC’s near the A2 corridor?
If you find ■■■■ in your cab when taking it over, do you
(a) Report it
(b) VOR it
(c) Move it from under the mattress to the overhead locker
(d) Give it to Fiona
(e) Give it to Edward
(d) Look for a different job
What is the 6th letter of the alphabet?
…and of course the last question
"Do not answer any questions after writing your name at the top of the paper, and following the instruction to “read thoroughly before answering any questions”.
Handing in a blank piece of paper with your name on it is a PASS! congratulations!
Smile - You’ve made it big guy!
Question X
How would you feel working for a company that the general public seem to like, they wave at you and take photos of you. Yet the drivers of this same company appear to be despised, mocked and vilified by other members of the haulage industry.
Why do they bother with assessments, it would make sense to me if they employed some of the agency drivers that work for them on a regular basis. They would know what they were getting.
I actually know someone who works regularly for this company through an agency, he knows the job inside out & has been involved in the logistics industry for over ten years …
Why?
Because he earns more money this way than if he donned the uniform and had that part of his brain removed that says, “Think for yourself!”
bigvern1:
happysack:
bigvern1:
Can your face absorb a kicking from a size 9 Doc Marten?
Why?
Why not?
I felt sorry for your when you were out of work. Now I hope another wheel falls off your wee van. You’re a complete tool.
oooooh, such verbal diarohea from professionals !, good way to enhance the stobart teams image. 
Q11, can you spell the company name correctly? 
happysack:
bigvern1:
happysack:
bigvern1:
Can your face absorb a kicking from a size 9 Doc Marten?
Why?
Why not?
I felt sorry for your when you were out of work. Now I hope another wheel falls off your wee van. You’re a complete tool.
I’ll be up all night worried that you think that. Happy Stobby spotting. 
Oh…You’ve gone home and taken your ball with you. 
Wheel Nut:
mickyblue:
Why?, I’ve just taken the test and they were the questions and i still bloody failed
What does this say?
I was told i was to ■■■■ for Stobarts!!!
optidrive:
Hi does anyone have a copy of the written test or any idea what it entails?
I have an assessment next week at the widnes tesco RDC. 
written test is just the usual stuff…highway code,drivers hours blah.can`t get more than 5 out of 25 wrong
Can you drive a 7.5t round & round & round the same block in London coz your a sh@te driver and can’t reverse it into a simple entrance way… and then get a parking ticket for it as well… all whilst trying to show serious concern for the company’s image & profit margins…
Give him some credit. It wasn’t a 7.5t. 
