Standards required at MSA's

As there are frequent criticisms on this forum regarding the facilities or lack thereof at British MSA’s I decided to have a look around and see just what the required standards really are - and found this:

Im sure someone on here can pick some bones out of it and use it to their advantage to get one over on the thieving scrotes who operate these places.

Good luck!

Just having a laff at the fact that the same minimum number of female HGV drivers facilities must be the same as male facilities, did they ever look at the real statisics? Ahh I thought not!

Reading the document about them not being a destination in its own right amuses me. Otherwise how would Marks and Spencer make any money? I cant imagine that everyone needs a frozen black forest gateaux,fresh apple juice and whole uncooked chickens under his bunk. It is always handy if you can nip in the shop though for a nice tin of Flora McDonald’s Shortbread Selection, and a pack of Ecclefechan Tarts.

While in the fuel station don’t forget to get some charcoal for the barbecue and a bit of kindling. Your Mother is staying over this weekend so could you pick up a lavender pot pourri for her room, you know how she smells of wee when you give her too much port & lemon.

At least you can get a lottery ticket and put £20 on the 4.15 at Lingfield. I called in a services recently and actually saw someone eating a breakfast. People were standing outside waiting for him, not knowing who he was, just that he must be very rich and famous, so wanted to ask for his autograph.

Now the toilets are being redesigned for the Asian markets and have either broken or no seats with feet marks on the rim. There is always a flood on the floor and a couple of old Evian bottles pushed behind the cistern. at least they dont need to supply toilet paper anymore.

I like the security and the warm feeling that you are being constantly watched.
You will notice as soon as you pull in for a break, before you can turn off the engine, there is normally a nice man in a yellow vest asking for a tip.
I always refuse his offer of chaining my wheels up and enquire about his parents. You know, just general chit chat like have they got married yet?

Now though, I must rush because I have collected some Airmiles to spend before they are devalued. Last time I looked I had enough to fly round the globe. I got the globe in the fuel station too.