Submarines,hot bedding and powder showering,diesel subs .try it and then talk about hygiene girls
I’ve noticed these modern loos in some customer premises can’t handle a man sized log, perhaps it’s a design over function thing but just lately I have had to do at least 3 flushes just to get rid of something my home crapper can ■■■■ down in the blink of an eye.
Maybe it’s this whole eco flush, two stage water release bollox and these bloody flushes with two buttons. (A big round one with a little tiddler in the middle, WTF is that all about).
It’s nice to have a choice in life but I don’t think I need to choose how much water is needed to send my ■■■ to the great poop farm down below.
I mean how the fork can I work this out…
“Oh look I’ve only pebble dashed today perhaps a little squirt will do the trick”. No chance.
The other day I was bloody crowning, full curious tortoise mode and I had to walk out of a customers loos because there was no way the poor excuse for a toilet could handle it.
Not only that the previous user appeared to have performed some sort of dirty protest all over cubicle.
Might have to go back to top decker’s.
Dipper_Dave:
I’ve noticed these modern loos in some customer premises can’t handle a man sized log, perhaps it’s a design over function thing but just lately I have had to do at least 3 flushes just to get rid of something my home crapper can ■■■■ down in the blink of an eye.Maybe it’s this whole eco flush, two stage water release bollox and these bloody flushes with two buttons. (A big round one with a little tiddler in the middle, WTF is that all about).
It’s nice to have a choice in life but I don’t think I need to choose how much water is needed to send my ■■■ to the great poop farm down below.
I mean how the fork can I work this out…
“Oh look I’ve only pebble dashed today perhaps a little squirt will do the trick”. No chance.The other day I was bloody crowning, full curious tortoise mode and I had to walk out of a customers loos because there was no way the poor excuse for a toilet could handle it.
Not only that the previous user appeared to have performed some sort of dirty protest all over cubicle.Might have to go back to top decker’s.
No doubt the next user thought you where responsible for said dirty protest lol 
Those automatic flushing loos at services need warmer water, they are like hybrid bidets
Grumpy Dad:
Those automatic flushing loos at services need warmer water, they are like hybrid bidets
If it’s the type I think you mean, by the time you’ve read the list of instructions on how to unlock it and lift the seat 
…, it’s too ■■■■ late. 
robroy:
Grumpy Dad:
Those automatic flushing loos at services need warmer water, they are like hybrid bidetsIf it’s the type I think you mean, by the time you’ve read the list of instructions on how to unlock it and lift the seat
The bloody things are that quick they’ve washed before you can wipe 
worse still when you have the bottom 7 inches,your bellend,and clakkerbags skooshed just when you dont expect it… 
Here in Spain our WCs appear to have a smaller diameter waste disposal pipe than in the UK.It can be time consuming getting rid of a manly British jobby.
Had a go on one of them ones with a macerator, almost choked the bugger to death.
Dipper_Dave:
Had a go on one of them ones with a macerator, almost choked the bugger to death.
Macerator… Your in my ‘skillset’ now lol !
Dipper_Dave:
Had a go on one of them ones with a macerator, almost choked the bugger to death.
A good Monday morning ■■■, sorts them for the whole week…
biggriffin:
Dipper_Dave:
Had a go on one of them ones with a macerator, almost choked the bugger to death.A good Monday morning ■■■, sorts them for the whole week…
Vacuum toilets like the ones on planes and some ferries don’t have problems with Goliath logs, those buggers would take you as well if you got too close while flushing
mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/wo … n-11116860
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chloelovesfur:
Dipper_Dave:
I’ve noticed these modern loos in some customer premises can’t handle a man sized log, perhaps it’s a design over function thing but just lately I have had to do at least 3 flushes just to get rid of something my home crapper can ■■■■ down in the blink of an eye.Maybe it’s this whole eco flush, two stage water release bollox and these bloody flushes with two buttons. (A big round one with a little tiddler in the middle, WTF is that all about).
It’s nice to have a choice in life but I don’t think I need to choose how much water is needed to send my ■■■ to the great poop farm down below.
I mean how the fork can I work this out…
“Oh look I’ve only pebble dashed today perhaps a little squirt will do the trick”. No chance.The other day I was bloody crowning, full curious tortoise mode and I had to walk out of a customers loos because there was no way the poor excuse for a toilet could handle it.
Not only that the previous user appeared to have performed some sort of dirty protest all over cubicle.Might have to go back to top decker’s.
No doubt the next user thought you where responsible for said dirty protest lol
The problem is some drivers are a bit thick and they dont know how to use the flush in the toilet
let me spell it out for you
A SHORT FLUSH IS FOR A ■■■■ AND ONLY A ■■■■ , so to save water just press it once
BUT IF YOU HAVE A ■■■■■ OR PRODUCE A BROWN LOG YOU HAVE TO PRESS THE BUTTON AND KEEP IT PRESSED
that should release enough water to flush the biggest ■■■■ you can ever imagine
anyone ever seen that episode of south park when they measure how big your ■■■■ is by curiks and if you think you have done the biggest ■■■■ in the world you have to phone zurich
anyway the episode featured bono from you 2 and he actually turned out to be thee biggest ■■■■ in the world
villa:
anyone ever seen that episode of south park when they measure how big your [zb] is by curiks and if you think you have done the biggest [zb] in the world you have to phone zurich
anyway the episode featured bono from you 2 and he actually turned out to be thee biggest [zb] in the world
Haven’t seen that one.
I’ll be looking it up though.
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villa:
anyone ever seen that episode of south park when they measure how big your [zb] is by curiks and if you think you have done the biggest [zb] in the world you have to phone zurich
anyway the episode featured bono from you 2 and he actually turned out to be thee biggest [zb] in the world
Poor Bono, couldn’t handle being (a) number two!!!
villa:
featured bono from you 2 and he actually turned out to be thee biggest [zb] in the world
Pretty sure the band was called U2
But I wholeheartedly agree with the latter part of your comment 