was told one morning that i had to go down to dover to collect heavy duty steel road plates from a street for a utilities contractor, it was an emergency they needed plates moving ASAP. off i went blazing from north london all 8wheels blasting down for my emergency clearance, i arrived at my destination saw the digging gang who were sat eating bacon sarnies and reading the paper as they usually are in these so called emergencie situations, I said im here to clear your road plates( expecting to get loaded to limit!). the man in charge said well we only have 3 and we want them putting across these drives ways, (5 ft from the plates were sitting) but i dont think you will get your truck down here, i wouldnt. So being the genius that i am i suggested they use their 3tonne mini digger to move the 1/2tonne plates one at a time and place them over the said driveways,they looked in utter amazement at my suggestion then did it which took all of 5 minutes, i phoned back to office to explain and was told oh well make a day of it they are paying for you to be there, crazy.
Years ago (when there were T-Forms) part of my round trip was a shunt from Paris (F) depot to Mechelen (B) depot before loading back to UK. I had one jiffy bag on back of 40ft trailer and customs would not believe T-Form and broke seal to check cargo and found - one jiffy bag of course…
I used to work on the agency for Blakes at Alcester (now Innovate/ES). Every night they sent 2 or 3 trailers to Preston Services to swap with Scottish trailers.
One night an Agency driver with a Scots accent set off with the first trailer and the second followed an hour later. When the first driver got to Preston there was no one there so he drops his trailer and settles down for a break.
An hour later driver two arrives, sees driver one, wakes him up, and asks “You the Scottish driver?” Driver one replies “Aye” so they swap trailers and driver one sets off back to Alcester with driver two following after his break. The Scottish drivers arrive a bit later having been held up, and by the time they phoned in to ask where their swaps were, driver one was almost back home.
I did the job a few times and was always very careful to be sure that I picked up a southbound trailer.
When i worked for K&n in uxbridge doing airfreight work at heathrow, i was sent out in an artic to deliver a padded envelope to united airlines. Because it was known cargo it was sealed in the trailer. To make matters worse i had to back on the bay before i could open the seal. Complete waste of time
Got a call at stupid O clock one Saturday from agency, “can you do us a huge favour at Swithenbanks?” , “Sure I says”, turns out I had 4 drops at various prisons in the midlands in a puddle jumper 
. Delivering approx 8 pints of milk to each 
. This run was so they could charge their supplier a penalty (apparently). Best prison run I’ve done, didn’t even have to go through gatehouses 
Figures:
553 km
120 litres of diesel
10 hours @ time & half 
Cargo weight 18 kilo (approx)
Cost in the region of £200
Can’t see this milk round catching on
Gefco to Ryton 5ks 
maybe it wasnt Baginton depot 
i used to pull out of Baginton and Ryton
and bring back stuff from Nanterre and Sochaux
steady jobs those were the days
Electronic potato peeler Ok it was part of a Load but the driver was told to run over 750kms to deliver it in Malaga in a artic after tipping nr Barcalona. Well put it this way it didnt reach Malaga the driver reloaded in Greece and took it back to england
Santa:
I used to work on the agency for Blakes at Alcester (now Innovate/ES). Every night they sent 2 or 3 trailers to Preston Services to swap with Scottish trailers.One night an Agency driver with a Scots accent set off with the first trailer and the second followed an hour later. When the first driver got to Preston there was no one there so he drops his trailer and settles down for a break.
An hour later driver two arrives, sees driver one, wakes him up, and asks “You the Scottish driver?” Driver one replies “Aye” so they swap trailers and driver one sets off back to Alcester with driver two following after his break. The Scottish drivers arrive a bit later having been held up, and by the time they phoned in to ask where their swaps were, driver one was almost back home.
I did the job a few times and was always very careful to be sure that I picked up a southbound trailer.
That`s a ■■■■ up, ■■■■ happens 
lemonmouth:
It’s no wonder Transport’s in the state it’s in nowadaysthis happens on most days of the year from probably every big (and small) company, when most times all it takes is a phone call - if someone can be arsed - to get it sorted
and best of all it’s the driver that gets the stick it in the end for wasting fuel
I don`t think its “transports” fault, in this business, you go where the customer wants you to go [for a price of course]
If the customer ask`s for something stupid, you do it
My mantra for this situation ; The customer will pay a lot for not much, BUT, not much for a lot
Why do you think theres loads of "panic" vans on the road, sometimes known as "sample expresss"…
On the M25 last night, I was passed by loads of these little puddle jumpers from all over europe, speeding their way to waiting customer`s up north
Once took a 26 tonner from Reading to Nottingham on a bank holiday, sat in all the traffic both ways, fridge running all the way there for…
1 bag of frozen chips (1kg) to be delivered to a Beefeater, which, was right next door to an Icelands frozen food store!!!
Andydisco:
I had to take a 20ft curtainside trailer on thursday up to Helensburgh from an engineering place nr Evesham was shocked to find this after the seal was taken off the back doors.
Where in Helensburgh? Or just outside?
macplaxton:
Andydisco:
Where in Helensburgh? Or just outside?
out side just past the peace camp, on the other side of the road
btw they do nice line in naval hardware
Andydisco:
macplaxton:
Andydisco:
Where in Helensburgh? Or just outside?out side just past the peace camp,
dirty vermin, we had to help the coppers move all the habitants of this in the early to mid 90’s when they were lying in the road, the dirty scumbag tree hugging mother ■■■■■■■ had used tampons under thier arms!
should have just let the wagons drive over them and save on the social!
I know that place well. Taken many an inebriated employee of said place to the south gate when I was a taxi driver many years ago. 
Funny how the very expensive fence doesn’t actually keep the folks across the road out of the place on occasion. :lol::lol:
done a run yesterday with agency for local firm near heathrow, left at 06.30 in a little MAN with a 3ton palfinger on, drove upto the forest of dean to collect the load, arrived at the place drove in meet the yard man who said what the hell is this? when he spoke to girl in the office he told her the that a lorry with at least a 10ton payload would be required, yep thats fine she said we have a big lorry that she has never seen,but read 11ton gross weight thinking this was suitable, so my little man with an 18ft bed a crane and a payload of about 5ton was nt really suitable for a 10ton load that was 26foot in lenght, so after a cuppa and a chat i drove home empty,didnt even get my hands dirty.