Sorry, I know it’s a job and it pays the bills but do they just employ stupid people?
I got told this today
Hero: First time on site
Me: Yes it is mate
Hero: Your place is down there on the right. Pull up and go in to the goods in office. If you need to reverse back make sure no vehicles are behind you…
Me: eh? say that again
Hero: When you reverse make sure no vehicles are behind you
Me: Smiles and moves on shaking my head
Now I know where I have gone wrong with my driving. I also wonder why I get bad looks when I have taken cars out
mickyblue:
In my post he may come across as a normal person, but when talking he sounds a bit dippy
But to be fair to security they may have had instances where someone has reversed into a vehicle behind
Our dot com vans at stores are know for that, or just doing a style of parking known as “abandonment”
On a another security note, had a drop today at portsmouth naval base, first time been there, but as its MoD proprerty expected the usual security palaver i get when going to porton down or to tidworth camp, escorted, vehicle pass, on site pass etc.
Drove up to the security gate said to the guy where drop was, and he let me straight in with a parking permit and a map !
RAF Shawbury was just the same, pain to get past the bloody booking office (so called guardhouse lol) in but once in you could walk about freely, I spent 20 minutes once walking around a helicoptor hanger before I was told I shouldn’t be there but I was only told to bugger off out of the hanger though. I got some great pictures somewhere as well
Security guy: Do you have steel toe caps?
Beanie: Yes mate, in the cab!
S: No smoking o…
B: Don’t affect me mate, not a smoker!
S: But you still need your steel…
B: Yeah I know mate. In the cab.
S: Ok you know where to go.
Off back to the cab and security comes out to the motor.
S: If you need steel toe cap shoes we can provide some.
B: Like these?
S: Yes.
B: No got some!
As a security guard myself i do come across a lot of different types of drivers.
You get the happy regulars who come to site which we just let in as we know them by name, or if they are new , provide them a map and direct them politely. The dutch drivers are a hoot!
Then you get the , Steering wheel attendants (if im using the term correctly) miserable ■■■■■■■■■ Just grunt and sniff. Still give them the same polite treatment , you can see it boils their ■■■■ like cus they just wanna get in / out.
Worst driver we have come here is the UPS driver. We have a simple policy here in the gatehouse, if it fits through the window hole and has a name we can take it, anything else has to go the warehouse. Every day hes trying to shove HP PC boxes through and i’m like ‘not in here mate, please take it the warehouse’ and he chucks it in his van like a spoilt brat. Wouldn’t give him the steam off my [ZB]
Military units all work differently. Always remember at one place, they had vehicle search teams from 6.30 - 8am, in additon to the armed guards, and one lorry driver pulled up, was asked to park up along the side of the path, go to the guardroom and book in, “I’m not ■■■■■■■ doing that you bunch of ■■■■■■■■ was his reply…“Best you stay where you are then” was the response he got. He sat for 10 minutes then huffing and puffing went to the guard room, came back and threw his vehicle pass at one of the guards…Unfortunatley for him, the MPs had seen his carry on, and made him open the back of his trailer so it could be searched…Jesus, the bloke went off on one, “i ain’t doing that, ■■■■ off you ■■■■■” etc…The time it took him to get in and tipped and out again was twice as long as if he’d just done as he was asked.
If you are allowed to just wander round unattended then personally i would worry about the rest of the security in place. Any deliveries we got, there was always someone with the driver, plus when he booked in the section he was going to got a call from the guardroom telling them he was on his way. When he’d tipped, the section would ring the guardroom and tell em he was on his way out. If he was longer then he should have, the MPs would be out looking for him, it was usually that he’d stopped to look at the jets or helis…
That was at the units i served on, others are different
When i was part of the base security for 6 months in rosyth ( i was on caledonia gate) we used to play snooker with the cars, you had to pull a red one before you could go for a blue or black. You got extra points if you pulled a blue car and got the owner wound up so he turned red and lost his rag.
Also if they were pleasant they got the cursory glance around the car but if they got all ■■■■■■ the search could take in the region of 20 minutes and ranting and raving at us for making them late for work made us have to pause the search and then start the sweep again. My record was 38 minutes from stopping a commanders car to us giving him his Id card back and wishing him a good day. The best part is he complained to our boss and we got a well done for doing such a thorough search while in bikini amber!(older forces members will remember the bikini states)
mickyblue:
Sorry, I know it’s a job and it pays the bills but do they just employ stupid people?
I got told this today
Hero: First time on site
Me: Yes it is mate
Hero: Your place is down there on the right. Pull up and go in to the goods in office. If you need to reverse back make sure no vehicles are behind you…
Me: eh? say that again
Hero: When you reverse make sure no vehicles are behind you
Me: Smiles and moves on shaking my head
Now I know where I have gone wrong with my driving. I also wonder why I get bad looks when I have taken cars out
same situation a few years back when working on TKmax,the whole trailer had said name on it and i got from security and i quote ,you TKmax,i looked at the security guard and said take a wild guess,LOL
degsy4wheels:
‘…The Bikini alert states, oo yes. Have they changed now then…?’
Probably …anything that stayed still too long got painted
I cant remember which ‘state’ it was that dictated that mirrors on poles were to be used for checking under cars & wheel arches, but recall one helpless sap rumoured* at getting caught by the observant Harry Stashe (the ever-loving Station Commander and when the adage was never get caught,) intimately checking above the inner skirting & up into the undercarriage bay of one summery dressed lady who was accompanying him around the vehicle to open bonnet & boot, etc.
‘Detail the punter to do it’ was the rule in case damage occurred or some external hooligan had booby-trapped the handles, etc - so, obviously, any excuse was employed to glimpse a stocking-top or better using any means that an ingenious rascal could
- so, obviously, any excuse was employed to glimpse a stocking-top or better using any means that an ingenious rascal could 
