With apolgies to Marty Feldman and John Law:
Bikemonkey, Limyphil and Nathan are in the drivers room at a Tesco RDC.
Bikemonkey: (In jacket, trousers, green starched shirt and fluerescent tie “I look down on him (Indicates Limyphil) because I am in a 44 tonner.”
Limyphil: (Peaked cap, blue overalls, high viz vest and shiny toetecters.) “I look up to him (Bikemonkey) because he is in an artic; but I look down on him (Nathan) because he drives a puddlejumper. I have a six legger.”
Nathan: (Cloth cap, Liverpool shirt baggy track suit bottoms and trainers) “I know my place. I look up to them both. But I don’t look up to him (Limyphil) as much as I look up to him (Bikemonkey), because he has got a green shirt.”
Bikemonkey: “I have got a green shirt, but I work for £7.50 an hour. So sometimes I look up (bends knees, does so) to him (Limyphil).”
Limyphil: “I still look up to him (Bikemonkey) because although I get £10 an hour, I can’t reverse an artic. But I am not as useless as him (Nathan) so I still look down on him.”
Nathan: “I know my place. I look up to them both; but while I am poor, I am honest, industrious and trustworthy. Had I the inclination, I could look down on them. But I don’t.”
Limyphil: “We all know our place, but what do we get out of it?”
Bikemonkey: “I get a feeling of superiority over them.”
Limyphil: “I get a feeling of inferiority from him, (Bikemonkey), but a feeling of superiority over him (Nathan).”
Nathan: “I get a pain in the back of my neck.”