Please don’t judge me for this - it’s hard as it is…
I need to say goodbye (dump) to the other half but I’m really struggling.
I’m 27, I used to have the fairytale relationship with another girl where I had it all and was happy to settle down there and then - but I messed that one up and now have to find the same again. The point I’m trying to make is that I’m not affraid of commitment (the opposite really) but I need to find the right girl to commit to - and the girl I’m with isn’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I care about her, love her even but she’s not “the one” and that means there’s a lot wrong with me staying with her - it’s not fair on her and it’s not doing me any good either, none of us ever gets any younger after all.
I’ve been with her for two and a half years, we’re not engaged and she knows I don’t want to be (well, not to her) we haven’t got any kids and don’t live together. Thing is, in the past she’s mis-understood things I’ve said and has got it into her head that I was leaving and I’ve seen her reaction and it’s not nice at all, the thought fills me with dread! Not that she get’s violent or anything but the ammount of grief she’s feeling, well, she doesn’t hide it (dignity’s not always a strong point) and I’m gonna feel a real ■■■■
Obviously, doing what I’ve gotta do will be best for both of us in the long run but that doesn’t make doing it any easier…
If she’s not got someone that’s committed to her, then it’s doing her no favours in the long run either - life’s too short for both of you.
Sadly there’s no easy way to go if the other person doesn’t want you to - the only thing you can do is behave as honourably as you can, so your conscience is clear.
darkseeker:
:? Please don’t judge me for this - it’s hard as it is…
Any advice?
Not for ‘us’ to ‘judge you’, your live and you only get one go at it.
How did it go?
One of my big regrets is ‘dumping’ my first real Love for someone that turned out to be a Money grabbing slapper.
All worked out in the end as I’m happy with my Partner.
I was spending a while working out the best time and way and things improved quite a bit (though I still intend to) then came a problem in the “I’m late” department but luckily was a false alarm and a holiday which she paid for as I was too skint so really not the best of times.
The trouble now is I’m starting to look at myself and wonder if I should be more grateful for what I’ve got, I’m not exactly jonny depp after all and I’m just a lowly driver I’ve got a fair bit of thinking to do is about all I can say…
My Mrs said your’e a selfish ■■■■■■■■ You don’t know what you want and hope she dumps you first.(Her words, not mine.)
You will do that to everyone you meet. You won’t ever find “The one!”
ok so why not ask for some time out & dont see speak to each other for a few weeks & se how it feels tell her you feel slightly mixed up with all that has gone on over the last few weeks / mts ect then you will both know how you feel bout each other
bigvern1:
My Mrs said your’e a selfish [zb]. You don’t know what you want and hope she dumps you first.(Her words, not mine.)
You will do that to everyone you meet. You won’t ever find “The one!”
Everyones entitled to an opinion, though it doesn’t really seem it, I’m trying to do the right thing here and be anything but selfish - what good is it to her if it’s “not right”!?
The main trouble really though is that she’s mad about me, if she could shed have me up the aisle tomorow. I’m just seriously not sure that’s the right thing to do.
With animal on this. if you aren’t sure then she isn’t the one for you, so get on with it, let her go and find the guy that is committed to her and see what happens with your own life.
just remember nobodys perfect not even you… as you have said your not jonny depp but i hope your not johnny vegas either. if the girl is head over heels for you are you just having a panic about it.
me personally i would have a good deep down look inside and see what you really want. ive always said never have a break cos if you feel you want one then your not right together.
i love my wife but she isnt perfect but because i love her so much i put up with her as much as she puts up with me.
this year our relationship has really been pushed to limits where we actually sat down and discussed about how we would go about splitting up, but when the crunch came we both really wanted each other.
i can remember a girl i went out with about 20 years ago and we had been together 3 1/2 years. i used to spend all my time living at her house and i can remember going into leeds on the bus in fact i often laugh when i go past the actual place i thought it and thought bloody hell i dont want to marry her, she is ok for now but i dont want to spend the rest of my life with her. from that day on her days were numbered. now if you really feel like that then get rid of her.
And unless you like that sort of thing, do not let anybody take you up the aisle On a serious note, I think you were a bit of a ■■■ for letting her pay for your holiday when you have every intention of dumping her, that is if any of your mates can tell you a way of dumping her.
jessicas dad:
just remember nobodys perfect not even you… as you have said your not jonny depp but i hope your not johnny vegas either. if the girl is head over heels for you are you just having a panic about it.
me personally i would have a good deep down look inside and see what you really want. ive always said never have a break cos if you feel you want one then your not right together.
i love my wife but she isnt perfect but because i love her so much i put up with her as much as she puts up with me.
this year our relationship has really been pushed to limits where we actually sat down and discussed about how we would go about splitting up, but when the crunch came we both really wanted each other.
i can remember a girl i went out with about 20 years ago and we had been together 3 1/2 years. i used to spend all my time living at her house and i can remember going into leeds on the bus in fact i often laugh when i go past the actual place i thought it and thought bloody hell i dont want to marry her, she is ok for now but i dont want to spend the rest of my life with her. from that day on her days were numbered. now if you really feel like that then get rid of her.
Alex I really admire your honesty and openness with all that, I L Y
If what you’re saying is true, you’re living a lie with this poor girl, you say she thinks the world of you yet here you are airing your private business on the net. You now say what you see in the mirror makes you wonder if you should be happy with what you’ve got.
Ask yourself what you’re going to think if the next “I’m late” is not a false alarm?? You owe her & yourself more than that surely.
My take on life is simple, everyone’s entitled to be happy, if you’re not & you say you’re not, move on & continue the search for happiness elsewhere. At least your lady will know where she stands, she certainly doesn’t at the moment does she.
It might sound cold but I know what I’d do. We only pass this way once after all.
animal:
if it dont feel right the walk away now as you are only prolonging the inevitable & this is not fair on you or her
so be a man about this and do it and stop giving her false hope
or do you not want to be on your own & like some of the thing she gives you
This^
Stop being a [zb] [zb] [zb] to her and do the right thing and send her on her way. Can’t [zb] stand [zb]s that play mind games like you’re doing. Expect that BS from a chick, not a 27yr old bloke. FFS pull yourself together.
Please don’t judge me for this - it’s hard as it is…
I’ve got a fair bit of thinking to do is about all I can say…
On a serious note, I think you were a bit of a ■■■ for letting her pay for your holiday when you have every intention of dumping her, that is if any of your mates can tell you a way of dumping her.
