Hi, am just curious how other trampers manage to hold a relationship together as for the second time have just been dumped because of the job. Both boyfriends have given the same excuse, 1. Dont know when they going to see you next. 2.Cant handle being away weekends.
I am female driver on euro work and am away all week but am home most weekends as you all know anything can happen and you end up being weekended, ie: ran out of hours or loaded late etc…
I have to admit I used to be away a lot more but when met boyfriend no: 2 I really cut back on work and tried to be home more.But he knew what my job was from the start. I always used to phone everyday and the weekends we did have together were great as the saying goes ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ But once again the job has killed another relationship but I dont want to give up a job I like and at the moment with the way the economy I cant afford to give it up either.
Its a hard life out there.
I was married for 15yrs. it all went pear shaped and that was that, had another relationship but I knocked that on the head .
I think In transport working away as tramping or working night puts a strain on any relationship, as it is now I’m quite happy on my tod,
Get up when I want, go to bed when I want, do what I want when I want.
it isnt easy most poeple outside the industry have no idea what your job will entail at all by knowing what your job is from the start of a relationship wont usually prepare someone for what can happen ie being away and getting weekended.
im lucky jen has been in the indusrty and her dad was a eruo tramper for many years. even though i only week away i can normaly get home once or twice a week but somtimes its not possible. she understands the job i do as she came with me for a good few months. sometimes it still doesnt make it any easier for either of us but having that understanding of the job in the first place does make big difference if you boss will alowit ask if you can take the you next bf with you for a week if its going well then atleast they will understand what can happen and what your actually doing
Its hard to say what makes it work, but honesty from the start is the best.
When I first met Sam, I told her what I did(was a agri mechanic at the time), and what I planned to do (driving) and explained what it may entail, and gave her the option of ending it, luckily she stuck with me, 13 and a half years now out of which 8 yrs were tramping in the UK. With events over the last 2 years I’ve given up the tramping, and also the HGV driving now, so I’m supossedly seeing more of her, but as my new job is in farming she see’s less of me from March-November than when I was tramping, and then see’s too much from Nov-March Don’t think I’ll ever win.
as somebody said folk not in the industry havnt got a clue what we truckers do.
nearly all of my mates think i sit on my backside all day, im not a flaming container or tipper driver. im not a tramper so i get home but i just dont have a finish time 99% of the time and some folk just dont seemt o understand that i finish when the jobs done not when the clock reaches a certain time.
my ex used to be good with my work, she`d understand if i had to go away, be finished late or whatnot. i even took her away with me for 4 days which was fun having her with me.
Well the job is part of you. If they cant handle it then they arnt right for you. There are plenty of other professions out there that have irregular hours or time away from home. Oil rigs, Military, builders Police, etc.
You have worked hard to get your license & job, & if you gave up work just to keep a bloke happy I think you just end up resenting them & the relationship would end anyway.
I know exactly what your saying, it is difficult, when I was tramping first time round, my ex didnt like it although thats not the reason we split up. Im really lucky now though as we are both trampers, so dont expect to see one another until the weekend anyway, and we have met up on the odd night out anyway
When I married my wife 6.5 years ago, she knew that I wanted to be a truck driver. I was lucky aswell as when we first started dating I was a Euro-continental coach driver and was away for weeks at a time in France mainly. When I had the option through my old firm of becoming a tramper and going out on a monday and home on a friday she was fine with it. She looks at it as I’m bringing home a wage at the end of the week, what she cant stand is the fact that I’m currently unemployed and I’m around the house all day… I’m one of these that refuses to go cap in hand to the nearest Jobcentre.
I’ll find a new job, sooner or later, and if its tramping again I know for a fact that she will be ok with it. If she ever has problems with it then she can always go and talk to my mum and dad, my dad was a tramper and my mum knows exactly what it is she will be going through.
Thanks for all your comments, interesting to hear how everyone copes.
Have just got home lastnite after being away for 3 weeks and what a difference it is being single, I havnt felt guilty about not being home, I havnt had to make the dreaded phone call to say not going to be back at the weekend. He was obviously the wrong bloke for me and just didnt understand the job but it feels like a big weight lifted off my shoulders.
I think if I had of changed the job then I would have resented him like secretelephant said.
to neil I live near reading but work in maidenhead
