Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.
The only sausage you like is square.
You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.
You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know that Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 60, and Baltic is cold.
You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep fried — Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.
You used to love destroying your teeth with — Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.
You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland play a diddy team.
You used to watch Glen Michael and his lamp Paladdin on Cartoon Cavalcade every Sunday Afternoon
You get Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.
You only enjoy Weir’s Way on the telly, when you are ■■■■■■■
You are able to recognise the regional dialect, (Glasgow) ‘Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few quines in the night, min. (Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How’s you keeeepeeeen?
You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout–Errapolis.
You have witnessed a ‘Square Go’
You associate sawdust with vomit, coz the ‘jannie’ always, used to pour it over sick in school.
You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock’s Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porage, Macaroon Bar, Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.
A Jakey has ask you for 10p for a cuppa tea.
You don’t do shopping, you ‘go for the messages.’
You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.
You lose all respect for a groom who doesn’t wear a kilt.
When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ‘You no well?’
You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words only,-- Awright, aye, and naw.
