Is it just me or has anyone else noticed these former failed army recruits. Now security guards are becoming more and more a pain in the nether regions doing my bleedin shed in wi there no need for it attitudes …get a grip rambo’s not long till u graduate to g4 security vans kinel
Don’t be like that, they can be a great source of amusement, and I’m always trying to think up crap in response to their predictable questions…
One used to regularly ask: Haven’t you got a home to go to?
So I responded: No, the missus threw me out, you haven’t got a spare room i can rent? 
He doesn’t ask me that anymore, now he’s asking if I’ve sorted out new digs! 
So now I’m making up all sorts of crap about a fictitious bedsit I live in… 
Tell 'em…
The only reason they’re there is because they’re cheaper than a padlock.
yourhavingalarf:
Tell 'em…The only reason they’re there is because they’re cheaper than a padlock.
But the padlock is generaly more intelligent
Spanish ones are great, food down the shirt, unshaven, ■■■ hanging from the mouth and flip flops…
Evil8Beezle:
Don’t be like that, they can be a great source of amusement, and I’m always trying to think up crap in response to their predictable questions…One used to regularly ask: Haven’t you got a home to go to?
So I responded: No, the missus threw me out, you haven’t got a spare room i can rent?
He doesn’t ask me that anymore, now he’s asking if I’ve sorted out new digs!
So now I’m making up all sorts of crap about a fictitious bedsit I live in…
How about the security guard who ask “why are you so fat ?”
The response is … “every time I shag your wife, she gives me a chocolate biscuit”
“Don’t talk about my wife like that”…
“Why … has she run out of biscuits”?
AndrewG:
Spanish JUANS are great, food down the shirt, unshaven, ■■■ hanging from the mouth and flip flops…
FTFY 
Had one the other week who just wouldn’t let me in said I needed a reference number to tip,I kept telling him my container number is my reference ring goods in and they will have it,
Well he wouldn’t and said I could be bringing anything in here including immigrants and explosives 
.
Anyway I had to pull out and ring the shipper two hour later a member of staff came down to apologise because of this idiot and got me unloaded straight away…
Think I can count the amount of decent gateman Iv encountered on one hand…
All jobsworths
I have met over the years in all different countries, all kind of gateman / security guards.
Some where very helpful, some less so.
The helpful ones got me tipped out of hours, organised something to eat, somewhere to shower (while the company where I delivered had a policy not to allow anybody near the changing rooms)
Builded up over the years a good relationship with some of them, and can count some of them to my personal friends.
Of course I have come across jobworths, sergeant majors, general clowns, you name it.
However bad they where, I always treated them with respect, didn’t call them names, ar made insulting remarks.
I kept my head high in every situation, how much they tried to wind me up, I could be boiling inside, but never gave them the satisfaction of that.
On the other side, many drivers have made me cringe how they speak to security / gateman / goods in office bods etc, and they still expect any respect?
Tread people how you want to be treated, and if they don’t come up to your level, don’t lower yourself to their level, keep your dignity, be the bigger person.
People in these positions work very often for peanuts (and not always by choice) they have to deal with different policies, different interpretations by different levels of staff, and you can’t win, you will do it right for wrong.
Treat people with respect and dignity, and one day it will pay back.
caledoniandream:
I have met over the years in all different countries, all kind of gateman / security guards.
Some where very helpful, so less so.
The helpful ones got me tipped out of hours, organised something to eat, somewhere to shower (while the company where I delivered had a policy not to allow anybody near the changing rooms)
Builded up over the years a good relationship with some of them, and can count some of them to my personal friends.Of course I have come across jobworths, sergeant majors, general clowns, you name it.
However bad they where, I always treated them with respect, didn’t call them names, ar made insulting remarks.
I kept my head high in every situation, how much they tried to wind me up, I could be boiling inside, but never gave them the satisfaction of that.On the other side, many drivers have made me cringe how they speak to security / gateman / goods in office bods etc, and they still expect any respect?
Tread people how you want to be treated, and if they don’t come up to your level, don’t lower yourself to their level, keep your dignity, be the bigger person.People in these positions work very often for peanuts (and not always by choice) they have to deal with different policies, different interpretations by different levels of staff, and you can’t win, you will do it right for wrong.
Treat people with respect and dignity, and one day it will pay back.
+1
caledoniandream:
I have met over the years in all different countries, all kind of gateman / security guards.
Some where very helpful, some less so.
The helpful ones got me tipped out of hours, organised something to eat, somewhere to shower (while the company where I delivered had a policy not to allow anybody near the changing rooms)
Builded up over the years a good relationship with some of them, and can count some of them to my personal friends.Of course I have come across jobworths, sergeant majors, general clowns, you name it.
However bad they where, I always treated them with respect, didn’t call them names, ar made insulting remarks.
I kept my head high in every situation, how much they tried to wind me up, I could be boiling inside, but never gave them the satisfaction of that.On the other side, many drivers have made me cringe how they speak to security / gateman / goods in office bods etc, and they still expect any respect?
Tread people how you want to be treated, and if they don’t come up to your level, don’t lower yourself to their level, keep your dignity, be the bigger person.People in these positions work very often for peanuts (and not always by choice) they have to deal with different policies, different interpretations by different levels of staff, and you can’t win, you will do it right for wrong.
Treat people with respect and dignity, and one day it will pay back.
Well said sir!
Personally I just go in with the “I’m new to this and ain’t got a clue what I’m doing” line which seems to still be working. Even the ones who want to put up every barrier under the sun eventually seem to give up and figure it’s easier to just let me get on with it…although it’s actually often true. 
Andrew Gs description of many a Spanish security guard is stunningly accurate though he could have mentioned that a lot carry a truncheon and a clint Eastwood style revolver too!
The irony of lorry drivers slagging security guards as being unkempt, smelly, angry and obstructive idiots is a good one.
I’ve worked on both sides of the fence, when I worked as security I was always as polite as I could be to drivers (anyone really, it’s doesn’t cost much to be polite) and now in the job I’m in I don’t have much to do with security guards, but when I do, again polite as possible, start with a hello and crack on
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Gidders:
Andrew Gs description of many a Spanish security guard is stunningly accurate though he could have mentioned that a lot carry a truncheon and a clint Eastwood style revolver too!
Youre not wrong there
Pablo (yes really) one of our gatemen also has a dog with him at night but its more like the hound of the Baskervilles! Would put any sane person off breaking in…
I thought more and more places were doing away with them and you have to shout through a speaker for somebody to let you in.
But as for the subject I agree with caledoniandream, boring though it is there’s good and bad and people have good and bad days at work. Maybe after the unpainted [zb] drivers has come in full of attitude they give a bit back, or maybe they always a [zb]
I’ve mostly not had any problems with them, and I don’t really mind hearing the same old corny lines from them, but I did enjoy reading a few of the combacks on here.
caledoniandream:
I have met over the years in all different countries, all kind of gateman / security guards.
Some where very helpful, some less so.
The helpful ones got me tipped out of hours, organised something to eat, somewhere to shower (while the company where I delivered had a policy not to allow anybody near the changing rooms)
Builded up over the years a good relationship with some of them, and can count some of them to my personal friends.Of course I have come across jobworths, sergeant majors, general clowns, you name it.
However bad they where, I always treated them with respect, didn’t call them names, ar made insulting remarks.
I kept my head high in every situation, how much they tried to wind me up, I could be boiling inside, but never gave them the satisfaction of that.On the other side, many drivers have made me cringe how they speak to security / gateman / goods in office bods etc, and they still expect any respect?
Tread people how you want to be treated, and if they don’t come up to your level, don’t lower yourself to their level, keep your dignity, be the bigger person.People in these positions work very often for peanuts (and not always by choice) they have to deal with different policies, different interpretations by different levels of staff, and you can’t win, you will do it right for wrong.
Treat people with respect and dignity, and one day it will pay back.
+2. Saved me having to type all that
muckles:
I thought more and more places were doing away with them and you have to shout through a speaker for somebody to let you in.
That has caused me grieve before, working for DHL Tradeteam moving stock from Gloucester to Ebbw Vale (Which happened every morning). I rocked up there to the gate and said im the Gloucester trunk driver (In a fully stamped up unit and trailer), conversation went like this:
Me: Hello, I got the Gloucester stock on board.
Other guy: What is the password?
Me: Never got told one.
OG: I can’t let you in then as you could be anyone.
Me: Well look out the window it says DHL all over the lorry. (There was a light on in the office).
OG: That wont help mate as im in Belfast.
So I had to wait an hour for another depot driver to turn up. Got told the password off we go. Then a few weeks later im there with the same issue as when the guy asked for the password he said the one I gave him was wrong…It was last month’s and now there is a new one!!!
caledoniandream:
I have met over the years in all different countries, all kind of gateman / security guards.
Some where very helpful, some less so.
The helpful ones got me tipped out of hours, organised something to eat, somewhere to shower (while the company where I delivered had a policy not to allow anybody near the changing rooms)
Builded up over the years a good relationship with some of them, and can count some of them to my personal friends.Of course I have come across jobworths, sergeant majors, general clowns, you name it.
However bad they where, I always treated them with respect, didn’t call them names, ar made insulting remarks.
I kept my head high in every situation, how much they tried to wind me up, I could be boiling inside, but never gave them the satisfaction of that.On the other side, many drivers have made me cringe how they speak to security / gateman / goods in office bods etc, and they still expect any respect?
Tread people how you want to be treated, and if they don’t come up to your level, don’t lower yourself to their level, keep your dignity, be the bigger person.People in these positions work very often for peanuts (and not always by choice) they have to deal with different policies, different interpretations by different levels of staff, and you can’t win, you will do it right for wrong.
Treat people with respect and dignity, and one day it will pay back.
+1
If someone is an a-hole its not a good enough excuse to become one