How’s the limp dozy? No more Ginsters for you, you will have to make do with Tesco value pasty instead 
msgyorkie:
How’s the limp dozy? No more Ginsters for you, you will have to make do with Tesco value pasty instead
Bread & water more like on £77 pw , & me & the mrs went in Lidl ( were normally Waitrose / m&s / sainsbury shoppers ) today & brought apple turnovers / jam ■■■■■ / ham to save some pennies , mrs is blaming me for the embarrassment of it all ,
This has to be Trolling or a new low for Dopey, especially as it’s aimed at two particular people.
But Ok here goes.
As for claiming “Dole” with all the money he’s earned and with his wife in full time employment, the chances of him being able to make a claim are very slim, and he will have to live off his savings until work picks up.
Even IF he does try to make a claim they’ll hassle him constantly and with the new financial powers HMRC have, all government departments from the council to the dole office have access to a huge database of everybody’s financial records (banks etc) and so the benefits office will be able to find every penny he’s worth hidden in every place hes hidden it. Which means he won’t get paid anything, and all he will get is a huge headache and frustration. IF he does make a false claim and doesn’t tell them about his Benidorm wealth, they’ll be able to ■■■■■ slap him for fraud before he gets out the door of the dole office. That’s why it’s feast or famine.
So as a pseudo limper working for a pseudo payroll company I’d suggest that he should book himself a nice long holiday to Thailand (well it is where the limpers as S’posed to go eh?) and pack a few ginsters for nostalgic purposes to see him through the withdrawal symptoms and wait for the phone to ring from his pseudo agency.
So chill out Dopey and enjoy the time off, because I’m already in chill out mode
He could get hold of one of his missus’s covid lateral flow tests and go online and record a fake positive test result and claim sick money instead of dole money.
Oh hang on I forgot about the fact he works for a pseudo payroll company and not an agency, so he won’t get sick pay, only SSP.
As a DINKY of a certain age, he’s highly likely to be debt free, mortgage free and have at least 50-60+ in the bank, and a few boxes of white fivers under his bed.
So I suggest that he stays off the radar and forgets about claiming dole money, and the hassle that comes with it, and spend his money wisely till work picks up
peirre:
This has to be Trolling or a new low for Dopey, especially as it’s aimed at two particular people.But Ok here goes.
As for claiming “Dole” with all the money he’s earned and with his wife in full time employment, the chances of him being able to make a claim are very slim, and he will have to live off his savings until work picks up.
Even IF he does try to make a claim they’ll hassle him constantly and with the new financial powers HMRC have, all government departments from the council to the dole office have access to a huge database of everybody’s financial records (banks etc) and so the benefits office will be able to find every penny he’s worth hidden in every place hes hidden it. Which means he won’t get paid anything, and all he will get is a huge headache and frustration. IF he does make a false claim and doesn’t tell them about his Benidorm wealth, they’ll be able to ■■■■■ slap him for fraud before he gets out the door of the dole office. That’s why it’s feast or famine.
So as a pseudo limper working for a pseudo payroll company I’d suggest that he should book himself a nice long holiday to Thailand (well it is where the limpers as S’posed to go eh?) and pack a few ginsters for nostalgic purposes to see him through the withdrawal symptoms and wait for the phone to ring from his pseudo agency.So chill out Dopey and enjoy the time off, because I’m already in chill out mode
I’ve applied , it seemed fairly straightforward , we will see what happens
As for me asking you & Connor , your the most experienced agency I know , so sensible to ask I’d of thought , I’ll ask Connor & Simon next time though
peirre:
This has to be Trolling or a new low for Dopey, especially as it’s aimed at two particular people.But Ok here goes.
As for claiming “Dole” with all the money he’s earned and with his wife in full time employment, the chances of him being able to make a claim are very slim, and he will have to live off his savings until work picks up.
Even IF he does try to make a claim they’ll hassle him constantly and with the new financial powers HMRC have, all government departments from the council to the dole office have access to a huge database of everybody’s financial records (banks etc) and so the benefits office will be able to find every penny he’s worth hidden in every place hes hidden it. Which means he won’t get paid anything, and all he will get is a huge headache and frustration. IF he does make a false claim and doesn’t tell them about his Benidorm wealth, they’ll be able to ■■■■■ slap him for fraud before he gets out the door of the dole office. That’s why it’s feast or famine.
So as a pseudo limper working for a pseudo payroll company I’d suggest that he should book himself a nice long holiday to Thailand (well it is where the limpers as S’posed to go eh?) and pack a few ginsters for nostalgic purposes to see him through the withdrawal symptoms and wait for the phone to ring from his pseudo agency.So chill out Dopey and enjoy the time off, because I’m already in chill out mode
It’s not trolling etc , it’s reality I guess of agency , one minute not enough hours , £££££ then no work , no £££ ,
Glad your in chill mode , I’m trying but not doing a very good job ,
As for whether they pay me jsa or not , all you can do is apply & see what happens
peirre:
He could get hold of one of his missus’s covid lateral flow tests and go online and record a fake positive test result and claim sick money instead of dole money.
Oh hang on I forgot about the fact he works for a pseudo payroll company and not an agency, so he won’t get sick pay, only SSP.As a DINKY of a certain age, he’s highly likely to be debt free, mortgage free and have at least 50-60+ in the bank, and a few boxes of white fivers under his bed.
So I suggest that he stays off the radar and forgets about claiming dole money, and the hassle that comes with it, and spend his money wisely till work picks up
Yes I’m mortgage free , debt free , and 50k + , though no fivers under the settee
Savings though are to make retirement easy , not to live on day / day
Only thing I’ve learned which I already knew was agency work is not for me , anyway what are you watching , quite enjoy fantom works
The benefits system in this country loses tens of billions yearly.
They don’t have any kind of database holding anybody’s financial records.
You really think any kind of .Gov department could be that efficient.
On application of any state benefit, you will be asked questions.
It’s made clear knowingly giving false information is fraud.
It’s then upto them if they have suspicions. To prove otherwise. Ie asking for financial info. Trouble is they don’t suspect enough.
English driver 1970:
On application of any state benefit, you will be asked questions.
It’s made clear knowingly giving false information is fraud.
It’s then upto them if they have suspicions. To prove otherwise. Ie asking for financial info. Trouble is they don’t suspect enough.
I’ve only done the first stage , applied for it , and to be honest I’d of thought all the answers were easily checkable (employer )
English driver 1970:
The benefits system in this country loses tens of billions yearly.
They don’t have any kind of database holding anybody’s financial records.
You really think any kind of .Gov department could be that efficient.
Are you saying that the government should have access to your bank balance?
If you work direct for employer PAYE then this makes things easier for them. They want all workers to be directly employed and have tried to implement this for 20 years. Once a 3rd party is involved ie agency things become difficult for them.
As we know any civil servant doesn’t like anything difficult.
I’d advise anyone not working usual expected hours. To claim every benefit going.
You will then only receive any benefit you maybe entitled to.
If you work ad hoc days this doesn’t mean you will be contacting them constantly.
As they will have all info to hand.
If you are PAYE via 3rd party or sub contract they have to rely on correct info issued in correct way. At this stage difficulties normally swept under the carpet.
Agencies especially small operations won’t update HMRC etc until the very last moment. Months later.
cav551:
English driver 1970:
The benefits system in this country loses tens of billions yearly.
They don’t have any kind of database holding anybody’s financial records.
You really think any kind of .Gov department could be that efficient.Are you saying that the government should have access to your bank balance?
I’m saying .GOV don’t and rightly shouldn’t.
English driver 1970:
If you work direct for employer PAYE then this makes things easier for them. They want all workers to be directly employed and have tried to implement this for 20 years. Once a 3rd party is involved ie agency things become difficult for them.
As we know any civil servant doesn’t like anything difficult.
I’d advise anyone not working usual expected hours. To claim every benefit going.
You will then only receive any benefit you maybe entitled to.
If you work ad hoc days this doesn’t mean you will be contacting them constantly.
As they will have all info to hand.
If you are PAYE via 3rd party or sub contract they have to rely on correct info issued in correct way. At this stage difficulties normally swept under the carpet.
Agencies especially small operations won’t update HMRC etc until the very last moment. Months later.
The txt I’ve just got is saying there getting ready to process my application , and there’s a link to universal credit , but if you look at link you can’t get it if you’ve savings above £16,000 , so when you say claim anything you can , what else can you claim other than jsa/ u/c ?
English driver 1970:
cav551:
English driver 1970:
The benefits system in this country loses tens of billions yearly.
They don’t have any kind of database holding anybody’s financial records.
You really think any kind of .Gov department could be that efficient.Are you saying that the government should have access to your bank balance?
I’m saying .GOV don’t and rightly shouldn’t.
They ask for your bank acc no on application ,they need that to pay in jsa,l I assume , but I assume I’m like most , savings are in savings accounts , Isa,s etc so isn’t much good to them if there trying to find out how much savings you have .
dozy:
it’s reality I guess of agency , one minute not enough hours , £££££ then no work , no £££ ,
Glad your in chill mode , I’m trying but not doing a very good job ,
As for whether they pay me jsa or not , all you can do is apply & see what happens
As someone pointed out on another thread, after a couple of year of constant work, agency work has returned to pre-pandemic levels ie: the annual bleak season has returned, albeit with a bit more veracity due to the conflict in Europe, the Chinese new year is around the corner so the annual two week lull in boxes arriving on our shores
dozy:
Yes I’m mortgage free , debt free , and 50k + , though no fivers under the settee
Savings though are to make retirement easy , not to live on day / day
Only thing I’ve learned which I already knew was agency work is not for me , anyway what are you watching , quite enjoy fantom works
Your never going to burn through more than a grand or two between now and Easter when work is expected to become better.
English driver 1970:
They don’t have any kind of database holding anybody’s financial records.
You really think any kind of .Gov department could be that efficient.
They do have access to peoples financial information via HMRC, anyone who pays taxes inc businesses leave a financial trail. Try applying for housing benefits or social housing and see how fast they can check your bank account balance and look at the land registry to see if you have any properties.
peirre:
dozy:
it’s reality I guess of agency , one minute not enough hours , £££££ then no work , no £££ ,
Glad your in chill mode , I’m trying but not doing a very good job ,
As for whether they pay me jsa or not , all you can do is apply & see what happensAs someone pointed out on another thread, after a couple of year of constant work, agency work has returned to pre-pandemic levels ie: the annual bleak season has returned, albeit with a bit more veracity due to the conflict in Europe, the Chinese new year is around the corner so the annual two week lull in boxes arriving on our shores
dozy:
Yes I’m mortgage free , debt free , and 50k + , though no fivers under the settee
Savings though are to make retirement easy , not to live on day / day
Only thing I’ve learned which I already knew was agency work is not for me , anyway what are you watching , quite enjoy fantom worksYour never going to burn through more than a grand or two between now and Easter when work is expected to become better.
English driver 1970:
They don’t have any kind of database holding anybody’s financial records.
You really think any kind of .Gov department could be that efficient.They do have access to peoples financial information via HMRC, anyone who pays taxes inc businesses leave a financial trail. Try applying for housing benefits or social housing and see how fast they can check your bank account balance and look at the land registry to see if you have any properties.
I’m not waiting for Easter , put in for explore , though it says to apply , txt Hgv to tel no) , seems a odd way to apply for a job, maybe old advert , jobs gone , we will see
But yes I guess I’m seeing the reality of agency
From April 2024 Digital Accounting will apply to all self employed who invoice £10k or more, with quarterly tax returns required. They already have the right to demand that “Financial Intitutions” divulge information without the consent of the taxpayer. It is clear that the intention is to move forward to HMRC knowing the second you raise an invoice the amount involved, when your payment is banked and when you enter suppliers invoices. It won’t stop there. I am in the process of completing the information for my October to December VAT return. The second I submit it on line they will have a good idea how to predict the forthcoming 2022/2023 tax return.
peirre:
They do have access to peoples financial information via HMRC, anyone who pays taxes inc businesses leave a financial trail. Try applying for housing benefits or social housing and see how fast they can check your bank account balance and look at the land registry to see if you have any properties.
Been through all this with Lasting Power of Attorney and care home fees. County Council boasting: “you’d be surprised how much we do know”. Really enjoyed sticking it to them when returning an Invoice with :" You will get paid only when you present an invoice for the correct amount and you provide the supporting information for your calculations."
Don’t forget to contact the court and tell them you can drive your missus to jury duty, after all. 