my normals 40 case of wine in each bunk every time i come back across,though with all the festivities coming up then a couple of pallets of vodka is obligatory assuming they can get bunged in.
ive taken out live shellfish before and once the tanks are empty then filling 2 with vodka dont attract much attention on the way back due to the ming from the rest of the trailer. 
The wife.
Back in the day my old man used the firm’s (builder’s merchant) lorry for all sorts, all on the QT. He had his own sacks and would call in at the gas works for a ton of coke for our fire, drop it off on his way back to the yard. Christmas trees, sacks of spuds, allsorts bought out on the road and dropped off at home. All the relations’ furniture removals got sorted, gas cookers picked up from the second-hand shop and such, none of them had cars back then, most couldn’t even drive. Holidays were best, he hadn’t got a car and we used to camp with an old army bell tent. He ran out of Hammersmith, once a week had a two day run down to Kent. He’d load mum, me and my big brother and the camping gear, take us to Kent, drop us off and pitch at a farm where he had an arrangement, then carry on with his drops. At the weekend he’d come down on the train and have a week with us. Back on the train next weekend, pick us up on his next Kent run, sorted! Of course his “daily liar” as he called it, or log sheet used to be adjusted to suit. A bit of a character, one event I remember when I was little being on the top deck of a bus. We stopped by a big apple tree, he wound down the window, reached out and picked some apples and handed them round the passengers. Happy days.
Bernard
Not me but was in my cab ,Night trunker had a habit of only using my wagon when I was not on a night out ,cb radio and good radio and the wagon was immaculate but he was a dirty sod , any way one night he bought a bale of straw from some in the services for his bloody old nags and I kid you not put on my bed and at the time I had a DAF 2500 with a pod (so he squeezed it through the pod hatch )!!! he wondered why I was throwing a wobbley in the yard one morning !!! he never used mine again I can tell you that ! looking back it was funny but at the time I saw red mist 
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I wonder if limeyphil will see this thread …
I have slipped a car in the back . I got offered a Saab 9-3 at a drop that had a fault that I knew how to fix easily. Stuck it in the curtainsider with a large pallet using a tele handler . Got it off using an earth bank next to where I lived .
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About two tons of purple granite rocks from Nigg Bay, Cromarty Firth on a flat trailer with a 20 foot container on the middle twistlocks. Made a rockery in mine, and my father in laws gardens out of that lot. Often used to bring rocks home from Italy and Switzerland to decorate the garden with too 
I could write a book on the stuff I’ve moved for lads. House moves, TV collections, rockery stone, settees, fridges, and once even an old red telephone box. Everyone in the factory had something moved, shop floor staff and bosses alike.
sent using smoke signals
My balls.
Dunno if this counts…
Once tried to smuggle a load of bottles of rum and hundreds of King Edward cigars in the barrels of some guns we were bringing back from Central America.
Found that the Officer ■■■■■■■■ had got there first!
Had a massive party before we flew out though
Was tipping one day in a timber yard happened to mention my next drop was a farm 10 miles away, bloke says if you drop me 2 or 3 packs of timber off at same farm, I’ll give you 50 quid.
I agreed and he gave me the cash, and I went for a shower while he loaded it.
He said thanks and told me he’d be gone home when I got back so put shower key through letterbox.
Came back and the ■■■■ had put nearly a full load on! 
Thought how tf do I explain this if some ■■■■ up scenario occurs. 
(Previous firm/job btw before a certain ■■■■ on here gets on the phone to our lot! 
)
2000 litres of red diesel…had to carry it under the trailer though.
robroy:
Was tipping one day in a timber yard happened to mention my next drop was a farm 10 miles away, bloke says if you drop me 2 or 3 packs of timber off at same farm, I’ll give you 50 quid.
I agreed and he gave me the cash, and I went for a shower while he loaded it.
He said thanks and told me he’d be gone home when I got back so put shower key through letterbox.
Came back and the [zb] had put nearly a full load on!
Thought how tf do I explain this if some ■■■■ up scenario occurs.(Previous firm/job btw before a certain [zb] on here gets on the phone to our lot!
My sort of luck.
Own Account Driver:
All manner of unnecessary bits and bobs off ebay but reckon I’II win with a Smart car for my daughter. Couldn’t quite squeeze it in the cab so it went in the back. Loaded it with the Moffett which drew quite an audience in the cul-de-sac on a summer’s evening.
Can’t outdo the Smart car but that Moffett certainly comes in handy for me too. Tote bags of firewood picked up on the way back and dropped straight into the woodshed at home. Came in handy too when the local builders’ merchant delivered me a bag of gravel and left it the wrong end of my yard.