The Mrs wants to go to a Wedding Reception tonight, but I am knackered after long week driving and poor sleep.
I just want my feet up and a cold beer
Any ingenious ideas of how to get out of it?
She knows my shift is local today so I can’t use the " in a jam " lie
I have used all my previous lies lol
Bit of Friday fun after the week
Bloody trucks broke down dear, Make your way there, and Ill catch up with you later` then after the coast is clear, creep home, have a beer, then fall asleep in the chair…but your gonna get it in the ear in the morning… 
got the trots dear, can’t go too far …
On the other hand remember there should be some tops on show as the evening wears on, so volunteer to do the driving and keep sober and enjoy the view, probably find some equally cheesed off working blokes there as well who’d rather have their feet up, might be able to get a game of 5’s and 3’s dominoes going in a quiet snug corner somewhere far from the madding crowd.
Good idea, but sober ! no chance.
Simply say
“I’m not going, ore to the point WTF are you doing out of the kitchen fatty”
Or
I’ve been having an affair with your sister for the last 5 years and I’m leaving you. Then add, only joking but I don’t want to go to this nonsense tonight.
Or
Baby, you know you’re going to this … tonight, well tbh i’d sooner eat my own face so I’m going to stay yer, watch TV, have a beer and scratch myself
Good luck
That’s a stunning missus you’ve got Tipper Tom 
You chose your occupation and I doubt your wife held a gun to your head to marry her so get off your fat arse and take her out or don’t be surprised if someone else takes her to the
next function then you’ll end up on this site asking why your missus left you.And make sure you wash before you go.
How do you know my arse is fat lol
I will pay you to take her, bring a big vehicle
lol
My policy is…
“If I’m not good enough to be invited to the actual wedding then stuff it if you think I’m turning up bearing gifts in the evening!!” 
I would go if my missus looked like Tipper Tom’s
wait for your missus to get ready when she comes down say your not going in that are you big argument will break out saying she spent all this time getting ready you say you shouldnt have bothered problem solved you might spend the night in the shed or car but at least you dont have to go to the wedding
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
That’s a stunning missus you’ve got Tipper Tom
She’s lovely and honest to god I’ve no idea why she puts up with me, I do next to bugger all at home, forget birthdays, anniversaries, appointments, her name, all sorts and still she’s yer.
I think I might have to buy her something nice while I’m out tonight, what time do McDonalds start doing breakfast?
what time do McDonalds start doing breakfast?
5am in some places, so I’ve heard
Driver-Once-More:
what time do McDonalds start doing breakfast?
5am in some places, so I’ve heard
0700, according to the menu and nothing to do with the fact I’m a regular at Tot Hill services 
Can’t help ,am sat with my feet up ,and a nice cold Becks or 2 chilling ahhhhhhhhhhh
Honestly I took my missus to Cobham McDonalds on Monday haha
Snarley:
Honestly I took my missus to Cobham McDonalds on Monday haha
She was lucky to get that with the wages we are on! 
Armagedon:
You chose your occupation and I doubt your wife held a gun to your head to marry her so get off your fat arse and take her out or don’t be surprised if someone else takes her to the
next function then you’ll end up on this site asking why your missus left you.And make sure you wash before you go.
I agree totally.
Yesterday i had micro surgery on my old ticker and got home today , and sore as ■■■■ in the groin where they went in with the cameras and tools . And I am taking the missus out tonight for dinner as its an aniversary and she deserves some pampering having to put up with me.
Man up and move your arse out the door and perhaps if you are a good boy…you might get lucky later.