The head of the somali olympic team has been forced to apologise to officials after they realised that shooting and sailing are in fact 2 separate events.
It’s just the first few days of the Olympics yet the Romanians have taken gold, silver, bronze, copper, lead and anything else they can get their dirty [zb]ing hands on.
Good luck to the Brazilian hurdlers - last time one jumped over a barrier in London, the Metropolitan Police shot him!
Watching the Olympics the other day, I was trying to think of anything the Chinese are actually bad at. Then I remembered, “Cockle Picking?”
The Chinese girl swimming in the finals today is expected to smash the world record by 10 seconds.
Chee Ting Biatch said she is very optimistic!
How ironic. Our first Gold Medal is for women reversing …
Armed police will be on duty during the Olympics.
Unarmed police will be on duty during the Paralympics.
“The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.” —David Letterman
“This year’s Olympics will be replacing the women’s beach volleyball bikinis with uniforms that are less revealing. The stricter dress code was made to appease the conservative nation of ‘Buzzkillistan.’” -Conan O’Brien
“The opening ceremonies will feature the parade of athletes from 107 bankrupt nations.” -David Letterman
“Olympics can inspire American kids to get active. Or it can inspire American kids to sit on the couch and watch the Olympics.” —Conan O’Brien
“Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the British food, they said, on second thought, fasting sounds good.” —Conan O’Brien