OH HECK !..Let’s Offend Everybody !
Q. What’s the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. To a different bar.
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.
Q. Why aren’t there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek?
A . Because they’re not going to work in the future either.
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the ■■■ Ed class uses it.
Q. What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ‘F’ word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, ‘BINGO!’
Q. What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, …‘Once upon a time…’ A southern fairytale begins,…
‘Y’all aren’t going to believe this ****.’
Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States
HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said,
‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’
The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’
And the Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’
‘Can you give us an example?’
‘Thou shall not kill.’
‘Not kill? We’re not interested…’
So He went to the Blacks and said, ‘I have Commandments.’
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
‘Honour thy Father and Mother.’
‘Father? We don’t know who our fathers are.
We’re not interested.’
Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
‘I have Commandments.’
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said ‘Thou shall not steal.’
‘Not steal?We’re not interested.’
Then He went to the French and said,
‘I have Commandments.’
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, ‘Thou shall not commit adultery.’
‘Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.’
Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
‘I have Commandments…’
‘Commandments?’ They said, ‘How much are they?’
‘They’re free.’
‘We’ll take 10.’
A priest and a rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane. After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”
The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”
“Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich.”
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”
The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith.”
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally the rabbi quietly observed, “Beats the hell out of a bacon sandwich, doesn’t it?”
There, that should just about offend everybody!!