Observations of a limper

I’m back on the agency, I see that some things have changed since my last stint a few years ago. Since I became a limper again, I’ve struggled to actually find anywhere that sells limps, even eBay doesn’t sell them, and what is preferable, a left or right limp and where are they available from?

I’ve only worked for two firms in that last two months and been working most days, one of the firms has me most of the time and asks for me specifically, I enjoy the work, the people treat me with respect and even offered me a full-time job, which I respectfully declined.

Communication is still an issue though, if I’m booked all week, I expect to work all week, so when the other night I got home from work and was texted by the agency to say I wasn’t required the next day, I was disappointed, so when the day after that I didn’t go in to work, with no contact from the firm or the agency, admittedly I didn’t contact them either, there is general upset, “they need you in NOW” sort of thing, I said “sorry I’M busy today”, the general balance of the universe is restored. I’m not bitter or twisted, I’m treating them they way I get treated, if I’m booked all week, I expect to work all week. This is the second time this has happened.

And who wants to pay for calls on my mobile phone to company and clients?, no one it seems.

I’ve limited myself to work available to me by my insistence on £10 per hour and o/t at x 1.5 after eight hours, rather than a flat rate straight through, even o/t, this seems to be pretty standard now. One agency has only offered me two days work in two months, because I want too much on the hourly rate.

One driver refused to answer me when I said “morning”, so I persisted, and now he talks to me, we’ll never be best buddies, but courtesy costs nothing.

It used to be time and a half for o/t after 8, then it went to 45 hours before o/t kicked in, then 48, now some firms want more that, this is why I’ve refused the job, then there’s no guarantee that o/t is paid at time and a half any more.

On my enforced days off I’ve had a good look through this forum, walked the legs off the dog, did a few jobs about the house and on the car, and gone fishing, lovely!

Now, does anyone have a second hand limp for sale, or want to buy me one for Christmas?

Merry Christmas everyone!

A piece of pea shingle works, next time you limp for Travis Perkins etc have a rummage through the bulk bags.
You could pay the Jolly Farmer pub in Paradise Street Oxford, a visit. For the cost of a few Malibu and cokes (other hairdresser drinks available I assume) you’ll be guaranteed to walk funny by sunrise.

Hmm sounds okay at the moment but will the work dry up after Christmas? I have previously worked via agencies but I couldn’t stand all the uncertainty and when a ‘regular’ job came up close to home I jumped at the chance. Pro’s and con’s on both sides but it is mostly down to individual preferences, agencies do offer a good starting place for newbies.

agencies do offer a good starting place for newbies.

Or someone who has just been made redundant. Happened to me a few times over the years.
Made redundant, ring up agency, back into work within a week.

VOILA!!!..INSTANT LIMP.
just google limper footwear xmas gifts,and theres a variety of instant limps to chose from…if you cant afford them,the easiest way to break yourself in for agency work is to walk along the street with 1 foot in the gutter…it should set you up till your natural step adapts to limping. :slight_smile:

Yamrider, Theres no need for a limp, it wont highlight you as an agency driver because theres too many scruffy limpers on full time jobs. Walk tall and straight and youl`ll stand out more. Oh and ditch the Yam and buy a Ducati. Classier.

cheekymonkey:
Yamrider, Theres no need for a limp, it wont highlight you as an agency driver because theres too many scruffy limpers on full time jobs. Walk tall and straight and youl`ll stand out more. Oh and ditch the
Yam and buy a Ducati. Classier.

More expensive and less reliable…

Ducatis are fine if you want to look at them. With Ducati, you’re either broken down, about to break down, or worrying about breaking down… Yams are much better if you intend actually riding the thing…

Remember a limp is for life not just for Christmas.
Part time/ hobby limpers can acheive that full agency effect by wearing a hi viz vest whilst driving and talking to themselves whilst wearing a broken bluetooth earpiece.

My limp is in storage, fully charged and ready for use. Agency work doesn’t dry up after Xmas, all the limps are in for the annual service while the agy drivers soaks up some sunshine drinking cold beers, leaving the full timers to suffer the crappy weather.

Truckulent:
With Ducati, you’re either broken down, about to break down, or worrying about breaking down…

That’s pretty much par for the course…

With anything Italian, cars, trucks and women.

the opposite of Italian food though which is gawjuss

this model of jacket should ensure your tipping time is kept to a minimum whilst maxing out your agency hours…though i was wondering what agency the black dude works for?.any ideas?? :confused:

The rules for banned words apply to words contained in pictures. dd.

MAIN-cows.jpg

dieseldog999:
this model of jacket should ensure your tipping time is kept to a minimum whilst maxing out your agency hours…though i was wondering what agency the black dude works for?.any ideas?? :confused:

The classic agency look.

dieseldog999:
this model of jacket should ensure your tipping time is kept to a minimum whilst maxing out your agency hours…though i was wondering what agency the black dude works for?.any ideas?? :confused:

That bull looks like Mike Tyson

James the cat:

dieseldog999:
this model of jacket should ensure your tipping time is kept to a minimum whilst maxing out your agency hours…though i was wondering what agency the black dude works for?.any ideas?? :confused:

That bull looks like Mike Tyson

I was thinking John Cena. His mooves are unconvincing and his mannerisms are plain bull ■■■■.

dieseldog999:
this model of jacket should ensure your tipping time is kept to a minimum whilst maxing out your agency hours…though i was wondering what agency the black dude works for?.any ideas?? :confused:

Obviously works for Best Cownection :wink:

Muckaway, love the pea shingle idea, off to try it now!

Diesel dog, your idea for a limp is inspirational, but I’d like to a a touch of redneck limpyness to it, was thinking of getting a corner block from a buggered pallet and attaching it to my boot, whaddya think?

yamrider:
Muckaway, love the pea shingle idea, off to try it now!

Diesel dog, your idea for a limp is inspirational, but I’d like to a a touch of redneck limpyness to it, was thinking of getting a corner block from a buggered pallet and attaching it to my boot, whaddya think?

For true redneck limpiness you need to put a Confederate flag in the back of the cab, and probably a Yeovil FC shirt on the passenger seat.
Or to get a real limp, just deliver around Swindon wearing an Oxford United shirt. :wink:

as a well established limper I turn up smile take the money listen to regular drivers moan about working over Christmas then limp off into the sunset …work doesn’t stop after Christmas it keeps on limping :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

peirre:
My limp is in storage, fully charged and ready for use. Agency work doesn’t dry up after Xmas, all the limps are in for the annual service while the agy drivers soaks up some sunshine drinking cold beers, leaving the full timers to suffer the crappy weather.

Ah yes, I must have forgotten. The ‘lifestyle choice’ of some agency drivers means that they don’t want any money coming in during January and maybe February.

You really couldn’t make some of this up.

Olog Hai:

peirre:
My limp is in storage, fully charged and ready for use. Agency work doesn’t dry up after Xmas, all the limps are in for the annual service while the agy drivers soaks up some sunshine drinking cold beers, leaving the full timers to suffer the crappy weather.

Ah yes, I must have forgotten. The ‘lifestyle choice’ of some agency drivers means that they don’t want any money coming in during January and maybe February.

You really couldn’t make some of this up.

+1…ignorance is bliss…no dount there all sunbathing with rose timted sunglasses on in complete denial. :slight_smile: