An old woman in a nursing home thinks the place is too quiet and decides to liven things up a bit, so she takes off all her clothes and runs naked through the communal living room.
“Blimey!” said Fred, “What was that?”
“Don’t know” replied Joe " but whatever it was it needs ironing!"
A family put there mum in to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and sit her in a chair by the window and she slowly starts to tilt to the left. Two attentive nurses straighten her up and she starts to tilt to the right. The nurses rush over and put her upright and this goes on all morning.
The family arrive and ask are they treating her alright. “Its pretty nice,” Mum replies, “Except they wont let you ■■■■.”