I don’t mind people laughing at my expense. I stopped at Cambridge services for the first time today for the loo and a coffee. They shouldn’t have put the doors so close together. I felt a right trumpet standing in the foyer of the Ramada hotel dressed head-to-toe in bright orange with reflective stripes and my muddy boots on their posh carpet,and the woman on the desk gawping at me 
Anyone else want to admit to being as dopey as me? 
What did you do, shout “oy, you got that presidential suite ready for me yet, luv?”.
nope…never made any mistakes 
could be worse mate…a ‘driver’ from the other side of our operation,ended up in the customer car park at one of our South Coast stores in a decker yesterday,and wrote of a car trying to get out 
course it was everyone else’s fault but his…well,we think that was what he was saying 
Took me about a month to finally start remembering my trailer number plate.
eagerbeaver:
Took me about a month to finally start remembering my trailer number plate.
Thought they trained that out of you at, Master Jedi Class1 School?
They did. Problem was that Obi wan Kenobi used to enjoy a sneaky Jack Daniels or two and a few frames of snooker.
So when Yoda was doing the number plates and axle weights lessons, Obi and I wagged them and buggered off down the snooker hall.
Never won a single frame though F-reds. Prick used that Jedi mind trick on me…
carryfast-yeti:
nope…never made any mistakescould be worse mate…a ‘driver’ from the other side of our operation,ended up in the customer car park at one of our South Coast stores in a decker yesterday,and wrote of a car trying to get out
course it was everyone else’s fault but his…well,we think that was what he was saying
At least my faux pas wasn’t as drastic as that. I saw one of Eddie’s finest do that in Pease Pottage services a while back
I tried to unhitch the other day without releasing the 5th wheel!
I’ve also driven through a hospital customer carpark in a rigid when trying to get to the delivery bays.
That was a bit tight! 
Evil8Beezle:
I tried to unhitch the other day without releasing the 5th wheel!I’ve also driven through a hospital customer carpark in a rigid when trying to get to the delivery bays.
That was a bit tight!
I’ve often wondered if a newbie has ever driven away with the legs up or hoses attached 
Nobby_Clarke:
Evil8Beezle:
I tried to unhitch the other day without releasing the 5th wheel!I’ve also driven through a hospital customer carpark in a rigid when trying to get to the delivery bays.
That was a bit tight!I’ve often wondered if a newbie has ever driven away with the legs up or hoses attached
Of course they have, just not me thankfully…
I’ve a picture of a limper showing how much the suzzies stretch, but won’t post it and embarrass the firm. Thankfully I was in another unit and hit the horn before he snapped them off!
double post.
Nobby_Clarke:
carryfast-yeti:
nope…never made any mistakescould be worse mate…a ‘driver’ from the other side of our operation,ended up in the customer car park at one of our South Coast stores in a decker yesterday,and wrote of a car trying to get out
course it was everyone else’s fault but his…well,we think that was what he was sayingAt least my faux pas wasn’t as drastic as that. I saw one of Eddie’s finest do that in Pease Pottage services a while back
Had to go into the car park at Charnock Richard in an Artic the other week to deliver to the Waitrose. That’s was fairly tight.
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Reversing into a spot next to another truck.
You feel your truck speed up so back off the throttle…
You don’t seem to be slowing down much so touch the brakes…
Panic setting in…
Standing on the brakes and still moving…
Right up to the point your brain let’s you see the truck you were watching finish driving away from you…
Pulled into the services back in the day when ice would form on the inside of the windscreen whilst driving an old ERF, engine ticking over, head down on the wheel, nodding off for 15mins, then to wake up to see in front of you the back of another truck. Now image the contorted face of a driver gripping the wheel standing on the breaks with all his might screaming his lungs out only then, to realise he was parked up and the other truck had parked in front
A pants changer I kid you not
Pwyll:
Reversing into a spot next to another truck.You feel your truck speed up so back off the throttle…
You don’t seem to be slowing down much so touch the brakes…
Panic setting in…
Standing on the brakes and still moving…
Right up to the point your brain let’s you see the truck you were watching finish driving away from you…
Definitely had this one and it does take a bit to register, being on rigid general haulage we seem to find the tightest of places to get into
Yep i ended up in the car park of a supermarket, best bit of it is the place is only half a mile from where i live and we shop there sometimes, i just never realised the goods entrance was in another road entirely , luckily managed to extract meself with no damage, but not before one of the most perfect (gobby) drivers whom i worked with previously was in the car park, spotted me, and came over to take the ■■■■.
This was after 30 odd years behind the wheel mind, but you’ll find as you go on in this job that you never ever, unless you are mr perfect above, get it all right, or stop learning.
I could write a book on ■■■■ ups and bad decisions.
Juddian:
Yep i ended up in the car park of a supermarket, best bit of it is the place is only half a mile from where i live and we shop there sometimes, i just never realised the goods entrance was in another road entirelyThis was after 30 odd years behind the wheel mind, but you’ll find as you go on in this job that you never ever, unless you are mr perfect above, get it all right, or stop learning.
I could write a book on ■■■■ ups and bad decisions.
Should have said it was your monthly shop
I was about a month in after passing my test and on a dark winter’s morning ended up down a narrow country lane with a few houses on each side of the road.
Luckily because of the early morning I managed to exit and find a main road without meeting any oncoming traffic. After looking in my side mirror my fears were confirmed when I saw a blue ‘Not suitable for HGV’ sign. However, I pressed on a congratulated myself in escaping what could have been a difficult situation.
It wasn’t until I pulled up at my first drop when I pulled up and saw multi coloured light bulbs attached to the top of my vehicle spelling out the words ‘Merry Christmas’
What I didn’t realise is that a few of the houses along this small single track road had decided to enter into the festive spirit and attach Christmas lights across the road. Similar to what you would see in Blackpool but obviously a DIY version and considerably lower that my vehicle’s minimum height.
If anyone does go to that extra effort over the xmas period I’ll swap them for a HGV sat nav as they’re still sitting in my garage.
jonnyboat:
I was about a month in after passing my test and on a dark winter’s morning ended up down a narrow country lane with a few houses on each side of the road.Luckily because of the early morning I managed to exit and find a main road without meeting any oncoming traffic. After looking in my side mirror my fears were confirmed when I saw a blue ‘Not suitable for HGV’ sign. However, I pressed on a congratulated myself in escaping what could have been a difficult situation.
It wasn’t until I pulled up at my first drop when I pulled up and saw multi coloured light bulbs attached to the top of my vehicle spelling out the words ‘Merry Christmas’
What I didn’t realise is that a few of the houses along this small single track road had decided to enter into the festive spirit and attach Christmas lights across the road. Similar to what you would see in Blackpool but obviously a DIY version and considerably lower that my vehicle’s minimum height.
If anyone does go to that extra effort over the xmas period I’ll swap them for a HGV sat nav as they’re still sitting in my garage.
I could post something funnier than that but I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a modern-day Frank Spencer!