Why did they send an Artic ?
They usually send a 4 wheeler.
(Because you ‘Mr Farmer’ didn’t write that on the delivery instructions & our office aren’t Bloody Mind Readers)
Being on the other side of the Atlantic where mileage pay is the done thing my favourite thing to hear is “Hello driver, back right on to a bay and we’ll have you out of here in half an hour”
Terry T:
Clunk:
One thing I used to love hearing at a drop was those comments like ‘You’re late’,
Yes I love those comments too.
Arrive for a 1400 booking at 1415. Get told “Your late,you were meant to be here at 2. You’ll just need to wait till we can get too you”. Cue 3 hour wait. But arrive at 1345,plenty of time,and they could still have you waiting at half 3 because “not ready for you yet driver”.
Tossers. Missed booking times only seem to work one way 
“Krispy Kreme are opening a new store today so they handed in a ■■■■ load of free donuts fancy coming up before we tip you get a ■■■■■ and a coffee”