NEWS FLASHES
- Now on sale at IKEA - Lesbian beds, no nuts or screwing involved;
it’s all tongue and groove.
- A man has been shot in the head with a starting pistol;
police say it’s definitely race related.
- Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced
that they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
- I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest,
but explaining they were not actually a dating agency.
- The lead actor in the local Pantomime production of Aladdin was ■■■■■■■■ assaulted
by the gay genie on stage last night.
To be fair the audience did try to warn him several times.